Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

Brilliant.

Please deliver DS's coxbox

which just sounded rude

my ds1's teacher phoned me at work to ask me what he had had for breakfast

me: crumpets

her: well please don't give him crumpets again

Call from Nursury 'Do you realise we have had to remove a clear smoking patch from dd today'? .It must of come off in bed and stuck to her, was quite expecting S.S to be waiting for me when i went to collect her.

fmpacmr intrigued!What is a coxbox????

love the shoes one!

school; 'AuntieMonica DS2 isn't in school today and no-one has let us know where he is'

me; 'erm, i'm afraid i can't answer that, i'm in Amsterdam, on holiday'

school; 'pardon, you've gone on holiday and left a minor at home alone'

me; 'erm yes, he's 18 and in 6th form'

school; 'oh right, i didn't know how old he was'

me; 'okaaaaaayyyy'

i text DS2 'why are you not at school?'

DS2 replies 'i am, stop texting me, i'm doing my mock A level maths'

It's a thingy for rowing - they plug it into the boat and there's wee speakers at every spot where all the rowers sit and they can all hear the cox.

Not that DS ever needed it he gets his voice from his mother

Ah thank you:)

Loving these,keep em coming:)

"DD has a tooth in her ear"

She had lost a milk tooth and had decided to keep it safe there as you do.

The worst thing was, I repeated the phrase to the very unamused and grim-faced nurse at the desk an hour or so later who must have thought I was taking the piss and / or drunk

"I think you dc has chickenpox"
...no he hasn't they got bitten by mosquitos on the nursery day trip to the wetland centre the day before...
they must have called all parents that day...

School Admin Person - Fimbo, your dd was off on x date without authorisation and we need to know why.

Me - She was on a school trip.

SAP - Oh so sorry. I could feel her blush from here.

"Your ds has been sick and needs collecting"

"I don't have a ds"

"Lindsay?"

"Nope"

"Oh bollocks"

DD's keyworker who was heavily pregnant, had severe spd and was fed up. She's blooming lovely.

saidthespider, 'don't give him crumpets again'? WTAF?!?

I have had a few over the years..

sorry but another child has flushed your childs school jumper down the toilet....the unflushed toliet, do you want it back?

is it ok for you son to hold a duck egg, while wearing gloves?

can i give your son a macroon biscuit?

can you give your son a belt for his school trousers, he couldnt stop them from falling with his arm in a sling. (parent shame here....)

we cant find his pants and socks at all after swiming, is it ok for him to go comando style until you pick him up after school, or do you want to bring in some replacements?

I've never had an interesting one, just this:
Secretary: "Hello Mrs Peeriebear, i'm just calling to see why DD1 is not at school?" (she was 5 at the time)
Me: "WhaaaAAAT? I walked her in this morning! She's not there?!?"
Sec: "Oh... Er... Ah I see what I've done, it's the next one down on the register! Sorry!"
Me: and breathe.

Mavend I have called a parent with a very similar scenario. "Could you bring a spare pair of shoes for your ds as one of his shoes has been thrown onto the school roof!"
Mum's reply was "Oh no, not again...."

not a phone call, but DS3's yr1 teacher caught me at the gate to tell me that they had been having a classroom discussion about treating each other nicely and DS had told her 'daddy was hitting mummy last night'. She did the gentle, non-leading questioning bit and then realised that he was telling her about the full on pillow fight we had as a family with the sofa cushions in the lounge the night before... oops.

DS not in school yet; but I got cornered once in sixth form by the school sec who demanded to know why I had been absent the week before. I thought that the crutches and brand new plaster cast were a bit of a giveaway.

She had the cheek to tell me that her son had gone into school the day after his leg was put in a cast - I'd had surgery fgs!

DD1s form tutor called me during DD1's GCSE Maths, had arranged to meet me and DD1 infront of the house (he assumed she was truanting), and asked if I knew where her friend was, as she wasn't there either . 5 minutes later I got a call telling me she'd been in the exam all along, but the friend still isn't - is there any way I can get her there?
I was all day. It was pretty weird.

Not long after DD2 had started school (disabled, SN and fully statemented with full time 1-1) I came home after work at 1400 one day to find a message on my answerphone saying "Hello Mrs Sidge, just a call to ask if DD2 is ok as she isn't in school this morning".

I had taken her in and handed her over to her LSA at 0845!

Cue me phoning the office going "aaaarrrrggghhh where is she?" for them to say "sorry, it looked like she hadn't been marked present on the register but it was actually where the teacher's pen had run out".

It took about half an hour for my heart rate to come down. And why they hadn't phoned my mobile I have no idea!

Ha ha these are brilliant! I can't believe parents have kids that lose their shoes on the school roof repetitively!

When my DB was about 7 Mum got a call to say that he had been sent to the headteachers office as he had shoved a crayon up another childs nose and the other child had had to go to hospital to have it removed - when my Mum got to the school, no sign of DB - the other child had got the hosp and admitted he had lied and it was him that had shoved the crayon up DB's nose who was too shy/traumatised to come forward and had just sat in the heads office being told off until the Mum of the other child had called school, DB was taken to hosp in an ambulance and the head was mortified - DB recieved massive bravery award and special mention in the news letter for being "Brave" I.E my Mum not suing the school ha ha

we get automated text messages from the absence line. Got one last week when DD1 was on a school trip. then one the week after when she was in school. I don't have much confidence in it.

This happened to my mum when one of the kids at school chucked my sandal over the fence. They spent hours looking for it in the undergrowth and never found it (the sandals were barely a week old and mum had taken a special 150 mile round trip to get them as nowhere sold decent sandals locally at the time - gotta love Cornwall)

The sandal was eventually found in surprisingly good condition six months later when the neighbouring property cleared out the hedge. Two days after the bin men had been for the remaining sandal

The girl's parent did pay for new ones though and it was all very reasonable!

Oddest phone call I ever had from nursery (not a pre-school, this is an independent nursery) was them ringing up to ask if when DC started school, if she'd be getting free school meals. Still can't work out why they would need to ask that..

My oddest phone call was from the school nurse.

She called to tell me that DS (9) was playing pocket billiards. In my inability to say something constructive, I declared that he was just like his father. . I never heard from her again .

Hello is that mrs fruitshoot
I'm sorry your dd is a bit late home, but the wheel has fallen off the bus. Could you come and get her? We're just down the road.