Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

[Carrotsandcelery]

eragon we have had the jacket flushed down the toilet phone call - the poor TA had spent the day hand washing said jacket to get it to a state where they were happy to return it to me

[MrsMeow]

School sec - MrsM, we have your DS here (7). His asthma is troubling him and he doesn't have his inhaler with him, could you come and collect him please?

Me - DS doesn't HAVE asthma?!

SS - Oh, hang on a minute, sorry...



SS - MrsM, I'm very sorry. He's been running around the field, got out of breath and seems to have self diagnosed!

[RalphGnu]

These are fantastic! Keep them coming.

[ImpyCelyn]

ROFL at self-diagnosing 7yo :o

[JemimaMuddledUp]

When DS1 was in Reception I had a phone call from the HT telling me that he had fallen in the playground and landed on his friend's teeth, leaving in a gash in his forehead which looked like it might need stitches. Poor HT had great difficulty stifling a chuckle explaining the wierd set of events!

[prudaloo]

When DD was in sixth form, very irate pupil liaison person rang and demanded to know why she wasn't in school as there had been no phone call. DH replied that he had dropped her there himself- for breakfast with the headmaster! (prefect thing). She even rang ME afterwards to apologise.

[Katyathegringa]

wetting myself over the self-diagnosis one :)

[bigbluebus]

Not had any funny calls about DCs from school but did get a text from DS's secondary school the other day which made me laugh. It said "We have goats available FREE to a good home. Please contact Deputy Head".
Beats bringing home the school's pet hamster for the summer!!!

[InfestationofLannisters]

Ha hahahaha @pocket billiards just like his father Brilliant!

[BerylOfLaughs]

Did you get the shoe back?

[MandaHugNKiss]

School nurse: Hello Mrs HugNKiss, it's SchoolNurse from the school. Please don't panic, but DS1 has fallen off the climbing frame and says he can't move... so we've called an ambulance

Me:

(wasn't far wrong, he'd broken his clavicle)

THe following week:

School nurse: Hello MRs HugNKiss, it's SchoolNurse again. DD has fallen off the climbing frame and can't lift her arm very high - we think she needs to go to the hospital to have it checked.

Me

(She'd, indeed, broken it)

Next time she saw me, SchoolNurse laughed 'Thank goodness these breaks happened at school or else someone would be asking questions about your parenting! Haha!'

I kinda wish I'd sued them, now, after reading about massive payouts recently instead of hollowly laughing along with her

[Lollyheart]

Just marking my place so I dont miss any funny stories

[RunningOutOfIdeas]

Not a phone call but DH went to collect DD from nursery. Member of staff obviously feeling very awkward: DD said her stepmother had locked her in the cupboard.
DH: DD were you being Cinderella again?

[Mrsxstitch]

Secretary: Hi, its about your son's school trip

Me: I don't have a son

Secretary: Are you sure

Me:yes, you must have the wrong number

Secretary: You are Mrs Y and your number is xxxxxx

Me: that's my number but I'm not Mrs Y

Or the best one:

Headmistress: Mrs Stitch you really must tell your dd not to swear at Priests.

Me: Pardon (very confused)

Headmistress: Your daughter (very snootily) swore at the priest during mass today, it is unacceptable...

Me: can I stop you there, you must have the wrong number

Headmistress: Oh one of those are we Mrs Stitch can't believe your daughter would swear or act badly at school or in church.

Me: I know my daughter didn't do that, she is only 8months old so can't actually speak yet never mind talk back to priests.

Headmistress: Bloody directory enquiries.

Not sure how that worked as I am ex-directory

[timetosmile]

"DS and a friend fell into a wall (?) in the playground, no need to worry, he is still conscious, although he has cut his lip and his tooth has come out"

"Really, or is it the gap from the one that fell out yesterday at home?"

"Ahh"

Delighted to hear that the point at which I should have started to worry was a coma...

[flybynight]

I got a call to say that DS2 had thrown his own shoe over the fence. It never turned up again. I was fuming because they were brand new. He was also accused of flushing his pumps down the infant toilet.

[HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon]

I got called at work when ds was in Reception.

Receptionist: Mrs Honeydragon ds dragon is poorly and has a temperature can you come and collect him?

Me: Yes I'll be there asap

Receptionist: Oh don't rush , take your time, I'm having a lovely cuddle, and as the heatings broken in the office and he's boiling, he's my only source of warmth!



I also paniced once when they were handing over and Ds wasn't in line. Then his teacher came out looking very serious and asked me to come in. On the way in she explained he had not long banged his head. What had happended was he had landed on his head causing a massive gash that had relocated half his eyebrow up his forehead. during afternoon break. He was very brave and didn't cry but his T.A did. By the time they calmed her down it was only 15 minutes till finish, so they left the phonecall.

[springlamb]

From SN school where all children are collected by school bus:
"Good morning Mrs Springlamb, we're calling to find out why LittleLamb wasn't in school all day yesterday"
"I have no idea. I put him on your bus at 8.15 and he got off again at 4.15, no idea where he was between those times. I shall ask him"

[Jemma1111]

The school rang sounding very concerned that my Dd had come out in an angry red rash all of a sudden.

I was frantic with worry until I was told that it was just on her forehead, she'd been running around and after getting hot her 'rash' was just her birthmark getting red, it's not usually noticable.

[WkdSM]

SS2 moved in with us at 13 and changed schools. After about 6 mths had the following call

School: Wkdsm - has SS had any operations recently?
Me: No
School: So he has not had anything removed
Me: Um...not to my knowledge (imagines flying saucer)
School: Are you sure he still has his liver
Me: Wouldn't you die if you did not have a liver
School: That's what we thought - but he's told us he has not done some project work because he has to go to hospital regularly as he has had his liver removed. We were going to wait for the biology teacher to come in but thought we'd check.
Me: Maybe he is getting confused with kidneys but as far as I know he has all the relevant bits intact (until his father gets home and hears about this!!)

[JanMorrow]

My mum received this phonecall from my brother's teacher just after a school trip, my brother at the time was still at school playing in a football match-

Mr E- Mrs Morrow, this is Mr E, I have some very grave news about your son.
My mum quite naturally panics - what? what? Is he ok?
Mr E- oh yes, but on the school trip at the weekend I leant him 50p and he has not as yet paid me back.
My Mum - oh you stupid man. .

She sent my brother in the next day with 50p and a stern note about not giving parents the frights of their lives.

[MandaHugNKiss]

Oh! I've just remembered a more amusing one, although it was upon picking up DS1 from nursery (at the school, the class before reception,not a paid-for establishment), rather than a phonecall. He hadn't bee going for very long.

Nursery teacher: I gave DS1 a biscuit today, I hope that's ok?

Me: ...um, yeah, that's fine.

Nursery teacher: Only DS1 approached me and asked if he could have a cacky (at this point I was tryin v v hard not to burst out laughing). And I didn't know what he meant so asked him if he meant a cookie? He insisted, no, not a cookie; a cacky. Are you sure, DS1? A cookie? But he said, no, I want a cacky. So I showed him the biscuit and offered him the choice - a cookie or a cacky? And after a moment, he replied 'Can I have both?'

(I was really laughing by now)

Me: Oh yes 'Cacky' is our family name for a poo.

Nursery teacher: We worked it out eventually, but I had to give him the biscuit for the laugh it gave us!

Me: And such lovely alliteration, too

[5inthebed]

These are funny

Schiool secretray called me to say DS2 had had his glasses broken by another boy. I was most perplexed as DS2 does not wear glasses, yet secretary was adamant that they were his.

Turns out DS2 had accidentally broke another boys glasses and secretary was meant to call his parents.

[MrsSnaplegs]

School nurse to me (at work DH is actually poc as sahp )
When mini Snaplegs started reception you didn't hand in the form to agree to her being weighed and hearing etc tested. We are here today can we still do it
Me: well we didn't get a form as she started mid year (house move)
Nurse: oh yes I see she started January
Me: no in October
Nurse: well as you didn't hand in the form can we still do it
Me: you'll have great difficulty she has been off sick all week with chickenpox do you want me to get her dad to bring her in now I don't think shes still infectious
Nurse : no it can wait until next term

I ended up ringing school to check they knew she wasn't in supposedly the nurse doesn't bother to check the register

[insanityscatching]

HT "Hello Mrs Insanity, can you come up to school please? ds has been involved in a serious incident where a girl has been assaulted."

Me "It wasn't ds"

HT "I can assure you it was, we have witnesses including a staff member"

Me "It wasn't ds so I won't be coming up to school"

HT "Are you refusing to come and discuss this matter? We need you to remove ds from the premises immediately"

Me "I have ds, he is off school and has been for a week I think you mean Big B and not little B who is my son"

HT "we have witnesses Mrs Insanity it was your son"

Me "Can you go and ask Big B who his mother is? If he says it's me do phone me back won't you? Goodbye"

This is one of many calls where they got ds and another boy muddled because they shared the same name.