Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

I have always explained to the boys school that there is no point in calling my mobile as I can't answer it in work, so to call the front desk in work. If it's urgent they will fetch me.

So one day, there are five missed calls on my mobile from the school. dh phones the front desk in work to say that he has been called by school to say that ds2 has no lunch and no schoolbag. I know that I say ds2 walk away from me that morning with said schoolbag on his back so am perplexed as to how he can have lost it in the 100m he had to walk to get to school. Check the car anyway just in case I am wrong, no schoolbag.

Ring SIL who is a SAHM and lives nearby to please bring a lunch in for ds2. ( hate asking favours of SIL but have no choice)

SIL brings in lunch for ds2 and hands it to his teacher who looks surprised and says ds2 has his lunch and on further investigation also has his schoolbag. SIL phones dh to tell him this, sounds a bit irritated at having been put out for nothing ( This is why I hate asking favours of SIL)

Later principal rings to apologise and explain that it is the little chap in the year below ds2 but who shares the same name who actually had no schoolbag.

I got an alarming call once saying could I please come to the school immediately. The receptionist said that my daughter (5) was perfectly happy but seemed to have very red poo and the teacher was worried it could be something serious.
I of course went and dd was fine and happy so rather than rush her to a&e I came home, googled and score for mumsnet - top hit....

OP: "aaarrrrgh my baby has red poo!!!!"
1st Answer: "has he eaten strawberry jelly?"
OP: " oh. yeah. that'd be it"

So not internal bleeding then.

:o

MrsG, could you please collect your son as he fainted during sex education. :o

These are brilliant, don't have any but loving reading them

I can't remember any funny phone calls, but we did get what I thought was a very funny letter. ds wasn't the best behaved child, and one day high spirits obviously got the better of him. the letter very solemnly told us how he had called a teacher "Mrs Poo Poo head", and then someone else "Mrs Willy" and then even after being told off he managed to call another teacher something equally rude. It was very very hard to keep a straight face and tell him off when he handed the letter over

These are fab..marking my place for later.

I've especially joined this site just now to comment on how funny this thread is! "Cointreau Katie!", "Mummy's special balloons "...."The Turkey/Veggie Christmas dinner!" Oh - my word. You couldn't make it up :) Thank you. xx

Call from school office "Hi Sunny, looks like DS1 has broken his finger playing rugby AGAIN, he needs to go to the hospital. Oh, and can we take a photo please, it's at a 45 degree angle and looks totally gross so we'd like a photo for our next first aid training".

Thanks everybody ! now i will be late in school because I just cannot close that thread. I am in tears laughing. I wish I could contribute but I rarely get phonecalls from school and they do usually make sense.

My favourite was Next time she saw me, SchoolNurse laughed 'Thank goodness these breaks happened at school or else someone would be asking questions about your parenting! Haha!' oh the irony

and halb did you answer anything to the "so who is in the toilet then?"

Al0uiseG, It happened to someone in my DS's class last week too! Do we know each other maybe?

It happened to ds when he was in year 6, he's now in year 8. He does still faint at first aid or dissection or anything involving bodies really. The school are used to him and can see him "start to go" and excuse him.

So we might know each other, North Essex?

Ah the things I have to look forward to!

Keep them coming!

Not all that funny but rather worrying for me was when the school secretary phoned me repeatedly on my mobile and then phoned me at work. I answered and
she said have you not seen your missed calls?
Me: Scrambles about see 5 missed calls - cue panic!
Me: I am at work, whats happened? (heart in mouth, it must be serious what happened to him, is he in hospital?)
SS: I am ringing to say you are £3 behind on school dinners.
Me: Is that it???????
SS: Well we need regular payment, and I would appreciate it if you would answer your phone!

OMG what a muppet, it took me ages to calm down after that, I wanted to rush to school to check DS was really ok!

gorionine I asked her how I was supposed to know, to which I got a bit of a verbal shrug.. I'm assuming she was just thinking out loud. I can actually imagine the panic, because the toilet in question isn't one with a cubicle, it's a full door with a bolt. And the door kind of sticks, I locked myself in there by accident when I was 41 weeks pregnant and had to pull it really rather hard.. but the question was just priceless, especially because she probably somehow realised that DS hadn't been in.

largeglassofred- my dd (13) actually got a prize for having her planner signed all term- she had forged dhs signature and just carried on throughout the term . mind you this is the child who took her punishment for lolling around on the school field well. she was supposed to litter pick the following day. Cue another lunch hour lolling around on the school field, followed by emptying the litter bin into her bag and handing it in.

Not a phone call but a chat with the TA at pick up time.

TA: What did dd1 have for breakfast this morning?
Me: Erm, cereal, a yoghurt and a half an egg sandwhich. She was very hungry this morning. Why?
TA: She has stole a biscuit from the teachers cuboard. She said she did it because you haven't fed her for three days, because you are too busy drinking special pop
Me:

I have no idea why she said what they did, but it was quite worrying that they thought this could be true.

DS4 (almost 14)

His High School has 2,200 pupils - with about 200 of them who actually go in, do their work and dont misbehave. Very rough school.

DS4 is hardly ever off. Had a bad night with asthma and hay fever. Rang school and explained (to the answer machine) the situation.

10 minutes later home phone rings. "Mrs Pinkfrog do you know your son is not in school?' 'Errrrr yes I just rang the attendance line to tell you he wasn't coming in.' 'Oh we wondered who it was who had rung!!!' I gave my name and my sons name!!

30 minutes later mobile rings. 'Mrs Pinkfrog - did you know your son is not in school' 'Errrrr yes I just rang the attendance line and YOU just rung my home phone.'

'Oh did we? We have many calls from people pretending to be the parents' 'Errrr well can I assure you I am his Mum.....do you need to know what happened at his birth? Do you need to know he was 20 days overdue????' 'No not really, just need to check.'

Followed by an email....and a second call to my mobile (all from the same teacher) If DS4 was a bad 'un or had ever played truant I could understand it. When I sent a note in explaining his absence the same teacher said 'Thank you, but tell your Mum we dont need a note!!!'

my mum got rang by my school that I had graduated from the year before and was told that I had not been into school for the last week and my mum was like that might have something to do with the fact that she graduated last year, and then got quizzed if she was sure, she was not to impressed with that so then asked them why if they believed I had been truanting for the past week they had not rang her as they were not meeting their legal obligations

Aquafunf litter picking was our heads punishment at senior school.
The procedure was simple, find the fullest class bin you could, wander round the front of school where head could see you pick up a bit of litter. Chat to mates for the rest of lunch time. Add a bit of extra rubbish from the bin by the bus stop (well used and easy to empty)
present full bin to Head

Only had the one (DS is 5 so plenty of time yet!)

Sch: could you pop into school, DS has been in an incident with another child and has a bloody nose. We can't get it to stop
Me: (automatically assuming DS has been his normal dyspraxic self and tripped and maybe butted other child) I'll be straight in, is the other boy ok?
Sch: oh yes he's fine and being dealt with........

Other child had hit DS in the face with a massive plastic tractor. Him being "dealt with" was his parents being called too as it was the last of a long line of similar offence that week!

Al0uiseG, It happened recently in Ds's class (y5) so maybe it is more common than we think?

My friend is a single working mum, and I'm the alternative emergency contact for her DD. The school rang me one day during one of the recent norovirus outbreaks, friend's DD (13 at the time) felt very sick and was lying down in the sick room, could I come pick her up. I drove 45 minutes to the school, DD came out looking absolutely fine and said she felt better but the school insisted I take her home as she felt sick. Turned out DD had been cooking lamb in HE and as she hates lamb the smell had turned her stomach. I had to drive her 30 minutes back to her house, then 45 minutes back to my house. My friend threatened her DD to not say she felt ill at school unless there was actual blood or bodily fluids coming out

School Reception "Mrs Arse. Little Arselet has fallen over her feet again"
Me "What's the damage this time ?"
Reception "We think it's just a couple of fingers, hopefully the arm cast took the brunt of it, but her nose is a bit of a bloody mess, the bleeding's stopped and we dont think it's broken, but it is cut and sore".
So for the second time within 3 days, I sat in A&E with a child who was already plaster cast with a broken arm and a face that looked like she'd had an arguement with a Rotweiler.
I got many "looks".
Arselet explained latest accident (in great detail) to triage nurse (bizarre,; and a nose dive into a traffic cone from a height).It was my 5th visit to A&E in 6 months. She's already broken the other arm and later wrist within two months of each other.
Triage disappeared with a cat's bum mouth. I had visions of being carted away by the police. Then she came back all smiles, (luckily an an older nurse that had I presume had the sense to check), and said to Arselet "School says that you're a bit of a tomboy; is that right? "
Arselet "Yes Mrs xxxxx (School reception) says that she has my mummy on speed dial because I'm a tomboy and a right clumsy bugger. She says that she is reteating this year and would like to live that long without an art attack".
(School receptionist was a lovely Northern lady who was retiring and would have liked to have done so without having a heart attack caused by my PFB)
I thank God that every incident happened at school and that she grew out of the Kamakazi phase.