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Original poster

Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

225 replies

Mavend · 19/07/2011 14:24

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

OP posts:
pippitysqueakity · 21/07/2011 06:50

.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 21/07/2011 07:02

Just told ds that fainting during sex ed was quite normal after all. Apparently he got through the sex just fine but fainted at the birth

AlouiseG, I gather this is not an uncommon reaction for many men. Your son is just getting a headstart.

I cannot stop laughing at the seven year old in handcuffs. That's wonderful.

RustyBear · 21/07/2011 07:12

DandyLioness - your post reminds me of the time at playgroup when DD and her friend were doing painting and told the playgroup leader they didn't know what to paint, and she said "Why don't you paint each other?"

So they did....

LadyBlaBlah · 21/07/2011 07:54

Teacher: "Just calling to let you know that we will be doing some work with coconuts next week. Is DS OK with them?"

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 21/07/2011 08:01

Marking my place! :-)

Loving this thread, almost disappointed that I have a few years til I'll get any phone calls myself (bump is currently 15 weeks)

Marlinspike · 21/07/2011 08:12

"Good afternoon Marlin, I'm just phoning to say your DD isn't in any trouble, but I've pulled her out of a lesson to talk to her as another girl was getting upset because DD hasn't invited her to her party."

I was Hmm then Angry

lizzieloubee1 · 21/07/2011 08:44

My mum got this about me Confused

School nurse: Hello, is that Mrs Lizzieloubee1?
Mum: Yes, what's happened?
School: Well, her new teacher thought she looked quite pale and sent her up her
Mum: Is she ill?
School: She says not, but she does look quite pale.
Mum: That's her default setting, send her back to class!

Pale was, and still is, my natural colour. Maybe she was confused becuase all the other girls wore make-up applied with a trowel

bonkers20 · 21/07/2011 09:04

Thank you so much! I've had a rubbish morning and now I am smiling!

pollyglot1 · 21/07/2011 09:35

Got called out of a meeting to take school phone call - DS (10) at school football match had asked TA if it was appropriate to shout out "The referee's a W***". When she said no it was't he said it quietly to a friend, andother TA overheard, he was marched back to school in disgrace. When I asked him about it he said she said it wasn't appropriate to shout it!

davidsotherhalf · 21/07/2011 09:42

i had a phonecall from head,
head: please don't sue the school,
me: why whats happened?
head: teacher grabbed your ds from 3rd floor banister as he was walking along it, and scared the teacher, he thought ds might fall.
me: why was ds out of lesson?
head: as your ds has severe adhd we can't cope with him and we put him outside every lesson to run his energy off.
me:how long has this been going on for?
head: 2yrs,but we have now decided to send him home 4days a week so he don't get that bored again.

EmJayg · 21/07/2011 09:55

@davidsotherhalf, really??? OMG I would be suing the pants off them!

muddyangels123nomoreHPforme · 21/07/2011 10:22

When DS1 was 5 or 6 he was being bullied in class by the teachers favourite pupil.
The teacher didn't believe DS1 or me and said "Johnny" was such a nice boy( he was a little s**t!).

Anyway, one day i got a phone call to say that DS1 & "Johnny" had had a fight in the classroom. The teacher had tried to stop it and had taken "Johnnys" side of things & DS1 was to blame etc.. and that they couldn't believe what my son had said to the teacher as DS1 is from a good Catholic home.
Apparently, my son had told the teacher that if she didn't sort out "Johnny" his Gramps(DGD), would come to school & sort her out.Blush

We phoned DGD up after i collected DS1 from school, i was very Blush.
Told him what DS1 had said & all DGD did was laugh and said welldone little Muddy i told you to tell the next person to bully you that i would come to school and sort them out.

He did phone the school & apologise.

JanMorrow · 21/07/2011 10:59

was the referee being a wanker polly? THAT is the question.

Raahh · 21/07/2011 11:14

i haven't had any funny phone calls- but a funny conversation dh had at his last governers' meeting. Bit of background- dd is 4, and currently in reception. She is a little accident prone. Since September she has averaged 2 'bump' letters a week.Grin

Gov1- we are trying to get funding to get the play area re-surfaced. There seems to be a lot of accidents lately.
DH (shamefaced)- yeah...sorry about that...most of them will be dd1...
Gov1- no! it's great! She is single handedly giving us the evidence we need to get the money!
Dh- er, great! Keep up the good work, then, dd1!

(they aren't major injuries, by the way, and probably nothing to do with the surface) We hope there will be plaque to honour her contribution....Grin

wheresthepimms · 21/07/2011 11:42

head teacher - Mrs pimms please come pick up you DS he has banged his head
me - what again? you sent him home yesterday to get his head glued back together after it got shut in a toilet door
head teacher - hang on........oh yes we can see the glue now, no need he hasn't cut it again

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 21/07/2011 11:49

School: Er...hello Saggy, erm....this is a little bit delicate......
Me: Well...?
School: Erm, well im afraid that littlecat (reception age) came to school today with no knickers on....were you aware?
Me: Well no, of course not.
School: We didnt notice till circle time, the students sit cross legged on the floor....
Me: oops!...

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 21/07/2011 12:00

Head: I wanted to speak to you whilst you are at work about littlecats lunch.
Me: okaaay?
Head: Well I think that she is having too much salad. Id like you to give her less, in my house, we have small portions so that we can clear the plate. She is leaving food in her lunch box.
Me: Well I appreciate your input, but in my house, its quite acceptable to leave food on your plate, we eat until we are full.
Head: Well I dont think you are giving her a very good message.
Me: well as Im a trained chef, and her mother , I think im probably slightly better qualified. Dont you?

davidsotherhalf · 21/07/2011 12:03

had phonecall from school saying i had to attend meeting as ds2 was diagnosed with school phobia and hadn't attended school for 6 months.
after the meeting i was stopped by ds old maths teacher, he said i have just been teaching ds he is doing really well , he did x,y,z earlier on in the week, he's a great pupil, i asked for name of pupil he was talking about, he said my ds name, i explained to him ds hadn't been in school for 6 months, teacher went very red and said oops oh well tell him we miss him, he said i'm worried now, who the hell have i been teaching.

purplefish · 21/07/2011 12:15

Mine was 'Is your DS allowed to have chocolate?' (They were doing a project on chocolate making)
I feel about laughing...'Erm, yes'

Now I do understand that they ned to check whether small children have allergies etc, but DS2 is 8, so I think he knows. He even showed his teacher the KitKat he had in his lunch box...but she still called me!

kayb123 · 21/07/2011 12:15

:), reading these have certainly given me a giggle.

Cosmosis · 21/07/2011 12:48

Mine was from the uni medical service, to me.

Uni: Hello Cosmosis, we hear your mother has meningitis and you need to come in to get some medication in case you were exposed to it at the same time.

Me: um, no, my mother doesn?t have meningitis.

Uni: (very patronising), yes she does dear. I know it?s probably a bit of a shock for you but please come in so we can see you.

Me: I can assure you my mother doesn?t have menintigis.

Uni: are you sure?

Me; yes, she has been dead since I was 7.

Uni; flustered.

Anyway, turns out it was my boyfriend?s mother, but it was all quite odd really.

Raahh · 21/07/2011 12:56

saggy- DD1 announced onher way to school the other day that she was wearing knickers...it seemed like a random comment. I am now worried about all the times she might not have been wearing any!Grin

(little girls with crossed legs have no sense of decorum at all, I have noticed, pants or not!!)

Terribletriplets · 21/07/2011 12:59

'Please come and collect ds to take him to casualty, for concussion. (name of child) has jumped on him from the top of a fridge'. It was a very (lovely) loosely disciplined village school. He was 7. (name of jumper) was 5. The lovely end was that the nurse who dealt with us in casualty was the Chair of Governors. So she understood where the fridge was and how (name of jumper) had managed to get on top in order to carry out fridge ambush plan.

startail · 21/07/2011 13:47

Sh**t I've spent so long laughing at these, I'm late to pick up DD2

Pleb1969 · 21/07/2011 17:36

When I was in secondary school (WAYYYY back in 1980), my mum got called in to speak to the headteacher. They were concerned about my eating habits. I used to work my way round the plate eating only 1 thing at a time, so if there was meat, mash and veg I would eat all the mash, then all the veg, then the meat. Mum asked if I ate everything and they said yes. She called the head a silly man and walked out! Way to go Mum!

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