Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

[mumatron]

Ds school- 'Mumatron can you come and pick ds up as he has fallen asleep under a bush' (aged8)

And

'Can you come and collect ds as he has fallen asleep on the back seat of the mini bus and we don't want to wake him'

[kerala]

"Please come and pick up dd (age just 4) she has a tummy upset". Did so transpired it wasnt a tummy upset at all it was fear - a lovely imaginative teacher had told the children there were trolls in the corner of the playground and dd being rather serious and imaginative herself was convinced this was true and was understandably terrified.

[redfoxy]

"Hello, Ms. Redfoxy?"
Yes....?
"This is your SSs school, please don't panic but your SS has gotten himself stuck on the school bus and we've had to call the fire brigade."
U-Huh???
"Yes, it seems he's gotten his finger stuck in the seatbelt buckle"
Gah!! What a plonker...!

My partner went down to the school, 15 min drive away and they fire brigade were still trying to get his finger out of the seatbelt buckle, with an ambulance on standby. Seems he just decided to stick his finger in it to see how far it would go, and low and behold it got stuck, took them about another 15 minutes to work it loose. Nothing wrong with it except turned a bit purple from the circulation being cut off and his face rather red for being such a plonker!!
Still have a giggle about it from time to time, he gets a wee bit embarrassed about it!!

[Halbwahrheiten]

Hello mrs halb, you need to come and get your son, there is a raisin in his nose. (which he just sneezed out)

Your son might have just thrown up, but it smells like strawberry. (it was thick milkshake)

Your DS was bitten by another child, he has tooth prints all around his nose.

And my favourire: your ds locked himself in the toilet and won't open the door or talk to us. we are worried he may have fainted.
Me: are you sure? I could have sworn he was on the sofa in the living room with hfm.
Nursery worker: you ARE xx's mummy aren't you?
Me: yes.
Nw: and he's not in today?
Me: nope, and he hasn't been since tuesday.
Nw: see, that's what I thought but the other children said he was in there. so who is that in the toilet?

[Halbwahrheiten]

Stupid phone posted too soon

there wasn't anyone in the toilet, the door was just stuck and the kids had let their imagination go wild...

[oldsilver]

DS had been in Reception one week and I got a call from Head Teacher... all very apologetic but some Y2 boys had put his coat in the trough in the toilets and wee'd over it. Cue teacher handing me discretely a dripping carrier bag, as DS didn't know what had happened - apparently, where they'd tried to rinse it out, and also two very sorry looking lads apologising (yes, in front of DS ) the other culprit never came to me.

Aha I thought, so this is how it starts - I am now a parent of a school child!

[youarekidding]

Very similar.

Two year 2 boys when DS was year R threw his hat over the fence so school lent him a school logo-ed baseball cap. The boys had been made to apologise and had to go out with TA and find it during their 'golden time'.

I was a bit for DS thinking of these year 2 boys 'picking' on him so bought the baseball cap he'd fallen in love with from the school - they had been great.

Now DS is year 2 and I can imagine it's the sort of thing he'd do in high spirits and egged on by friends.

[TeaOneSugar]

DD had slapped cheek a while ago, we didn't realise until the rash appeared, I explained to her teacher that the rash might flare up in sunlight but that she was fine and wasn't contagious.

About 30 mins later DH got a call asking us to collect DD, he explained again that she wasn't contagious and was perfectly well, but they said they'd sent two pregnant teachers to the hospital and felt she shouldn't be in school.

It took DH going into see the head in his Paramedic uniform to pursuade them she was fine to be in school and that they may have over reacted.

[Chummybud1]

Teacher: I have just witnessed something amazing and had I not seen it with my own eyes I would not believe it.
Your sons glasses have just been blown off his face by the wind and now we can only find the lenses.

Hi there I am afraid your son has come to school today wearing odd shoes. Not just odd but both left footed.

[Ilythia]

My 'favourite' was while I was on lunch just before a very important lesson obs, no missed calls, and the phone rings

School: Hello, Mrs Ilythia? This is DD1's school, we are just ringing to say she has had a nasty fall and has cut her chin quite badly, it is bleeding rather a lot.
Me - oh god, right, I can be there in 20 minutes, is she ok otehrwise?
School - Oh she's fine, she is back in lessons, we spoke to your DH and he has come up, cleaned her up, checked her over and she asked to stay in school.
Me - so wth are you ringing me now then?
School - we just thought you would like to know.

Cue me wasting my prep time ringing DH, to find he had specifically told themn not to call me, and had not rung so that I could concentrate. Lovely.

[Jacksmania]

These are making me :o

[Mizza76]

Last year my daughter's school kept on closing every time it snowed - or threatened to snow. One day there were reports that it was going to snow at 5pm - so although school ends at 15.30, they closed down. However, they were having problems with their text message system and I didn't get the message until another parent phoned me at 13.30, as they were closing.

I absolutely could not pick up my daughter and couldn't find anyone else to do it so called the school, who reassured me that they could keep her until 15.30 as usual if neccessary. I didn't feel too bad because there was no snow on the ground and forgot about it. About an hour later, I got a phone call from the notoriously aggressive headmistress, telling me that my daughter was "the last child here" and she was the last teacher there, looking after her, and why hadn't I picked her up?

I explained why I couldn't come in early and that the school had assured me that was ok. After she grilled me about who I had spoken to, she basically told me that I had to pick her up RIGHT NOW as she was being personally inconvenienced.

Of course I called my husband in panic and dragged him out of a meeting to go pick our daughter up - I had visions of my poor 4-year-old sitting all alone in that dragon's office...

When he got there, he discovered at least a dozen kids and several teachers. I still can't believe that the headmistress lied outright to me. And even worse, I later discovered she had asked someone I know to take her home - without my permission!

Still at the whole thing.

[PaperView]

"Mrs PaperView can you come and collect MiddleView. He was involved in a scuffle with another child and he has a tooth in his forehead."

Turns out that DS2 HAD bumped into another child who's loose tooth had come out and DS2 had banged his head on the wall - there was no tooth in his head.

[Ringosbaby]

"Hello Ringo, just phoning to let you know your DD has been hit in the face with a brick"

Me- "What??!! When where is she ok?"

"Yes, yes she's happy as can be, Lucky it wasn't near her eye eh?"

Me- "A brick??!! I'm on my way."

Ran all the way to school (was 9mths pg and couldn't fit behind wheel of car)

DD had been hit in the face with a duplo brick.

[BustersOfDoom]

It was to do with handcuffs and as to whether we had a spare key. We did not. They were NOT our handcuffs!

I don't think they believed me. I still cringe when I think about it.

[Carrotsandcelery]

Busters

[BerylOfLaughs]

Mizza, that's shocking. I'd write a letter to the governors.

[youarekidding]

Got one to say DS' arm had broken off his glasses and did I mind if they sellotaped them back together. They wanted to check incase they ruined them and had wanted my permission so they weren't responsible - the bloody things were broken how exactly could sellotaping them together 'ruin' them.

Or course I just said ' that's fine, use strong tape he'll be wearing them as it take about a week for the replacement pair'

[davidsotherhalf]

dd was in a lesson where deputy head was trying to get dc to eat different foods, dd kept refusing saying i'm not eating as i feel sick, the deputy head forced food into dd's mouth, saying you will do as your told, you don't feel sick at all your just an awkward child, oops she vomited all over him, he was very smelly and red faced when we arrived at school to pick dd up.

[Ilythia]

MIzza, I once got out of a lesson to find a message 30 minuts old saying that the electricity had gone out and they were shutting the school, and we were to collect children asap.

I called school in a panic NO ANSWER.
Then I spotted I had another text from my friend, who ahd picked up DD1 and taken her home. It was early september. It was daylight. It was warm. I have no clue why they needed to get all the kids out in half an hour. ffs.

[nancy75]

I frequently get phone calls about my teenage ds bunking of school - at least once a week for the last year

The fact that I only have a 5yr old dd that doesn't go to the school doesn't stop them from phoning and telling me off.

On one occasion after i had explained in very easy to understand words that the child wasn't mine the person on from the school asked me if there was any chance I could find the mother and get her to ring them! they can't seem to understand that they have the wrong number on their records!

[FuzzpigFourFiveSix]

This thread is brilliant :o

[Ilythia]

OH yes, I am always getting calls from a local school about my son truanting.
I tell them I am not Mrs Jones. They read my number out. I confirm it is my number but I am not Mrs Jones and I don't have a son.
Then they call me again next week. Scary stuff tbh. I know all about this boy, his full name, where he lives, I could probably cobble together a passable timetable for him as well. Twats.

[davidsotherhalf]

the day ds started school he came out crying with his new friend i asked what's wrong, ds replied friend had bought balloons into school and they had been blowing them up at lunchtime, his friend was crying as he had taken them from his mums drawer and would be in trouble, i said ok where are they i'll say they are mine and get them back, i went to the headteacher and asked for them back, she handed me a large box of condoms,saying i don't think these are yours, i was 8 months pregnant at the time lol

[StartAllOver]

Ha ha ha to the condoms!!

When me and my brother were little the school had a police car, ambulance and fire engine there and all the children would go out class by class to sit in and hear all about the emergency services.

I dont remember exactly how it played out but it ended up with me having to sit in the reception waaaaay after school had finished as my mum was down the police station with my brother because he had handcuffed himself and they were having trouble finding the key!!