Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

[InfestationofLannisters]

Oh the handcuffs story has reminded me of an awkward call I had to make to a parent once:

"It seems that your DS has brought them into school. He has chained a classmate's hands together. Could you possibly get here with the key?"

Worse still, the headteacher had just finished escorting some prospective parents around the school and was just finishing his spiel about how unacceptable behaviour was dealt with promptly and seriously only to be confronted by a tearful seven year old girl sitting outside the school office in cuffs.

[MissyBrookes]

Marking my place - can't keep up with the rate of posts though! These are fantastic!!

[Halbwahrheiten]

:o were they fluffy handcuffs?

[MandaHugNKiss]

Because fluffy handcuffs say 'We're firm, but fair'

[fenner]

I was once asked to come to a school in a town 7 or 8 miles away to pick up a boy who had moved out of our house (before it was ours) 4 years earlier! I said they might want to ask his guardian for an up-to-date phone number.

[fenner]

Of course that's totally lame after fluffly handcuffs...

[Rehune]

THis is absolute gold!

[Karacat]

My eldest had living and growing and I was told by his teacher to have a word with him as he spent the entire time with his fingers in his ears and his head bowed down, hmm how comfortable was everyone else watching this at school?!? Think it was female reproductive system and birth that week!!

[wornoutbutstillwonderful]

Excellent thread.
Not a phonecall but when I went to pick up ds1 when he was in reception the teacher called me over and said "now I'm not wanting to panic you, but your son has got himself stuck"
Entered the classroom to find him stuck in chair by his arm, the caretaker followed us with soapy liquid after much pulling etc he said to my ds1 "I think we may have to saw it off" cue lots of loud screaming, my ds1 thought he had mean't his arm not the top of the chair.

[wolveschick]

Call from DD1's headteacher when she was in Yr 1 'Can I just ask you Mrs Wolveschick if DD1 packed her own lunchbox today'. Answer: yes-she was being helpful (the week before her birthday). 'Thought so-it's just that she has brought 4 foil wrapped raw pork sausages instead of her sandwiches.' HT had had a stressful day and was ringing just to tell me how much it had made her laugh!!

[walkersmum]

I love this thread ...........

[HSMM]

We've done it the other way around. My DD was in the nurse's office at Secondary School. Nurse calls my DH - Your DD needs to be collected, because she's ill. My DH - Can't collect her, because I don't have enough seats in the car, she will need to come in a taxi.

Nurse goes back to my DD to ask why DH doesn't have enough seats in his car for himself and DD? Once DD had stopped laughing, she managed to explain that he is a Childminder and the car would be full of other people's children, with no room left for her.

(By the way ... the legal protocol to get your child sent home from school in a taxi is amazing - even though the taxi was ordered and paid for by DH)

[youarekidding]

I've remembered another one from when DS was in nursery. He'd fallen and ended up in A&E with badly cut mouth and lips and damaged tooth. He's been off nursery the following day with it.

So phone rings

Nursery manager: Um.... we've just noticed DS has a cut and swollen lip and seems to have chipped his tooth. I'm so sorry we don't know when this happened and it appears to have stopped bleeding. Would you like to come and look at it and decide if he needs to have it looked at?

Me: What the accident that happened at home 2 days ago which he attended A&E for?

NM: Oh right, I hate to be rude but you should really tell us about these things.

Me: I did, yesterday on the phone I spoke to deputy and then told you this morning.

NM: Did you?

Me: Yes, I knew you weren't listening especially when X mum walked in and you walked off in my mid sentence to chat to her about shopping.

She was known for having her 'favourite' mums but did seem to tone it down a bit after that.

[toomuchmonthatendofthemoney]

still arfing at this thread, and youarekidding, well done you for putting her right!!

[nix72]

When my son was in year 1 the school rang me to tell me had been the victim of a vicious attack and was he up to date on his tetanus. Another boy had sunk his teeth into his leg and left full bite mark on his leg!

[girnythecat]

Nursery manger called to say that DS aged 4 had managed to get a small pompom stuck up his nose. We agreed that staff could try to get it out with tweezers before I collected him and took him to A and E. They called back to say it was out so all was well until..............DS tells me on the way home that it was actually taken out with a paper clip. Cue return call from me screaming about the bleeding obvious differences between the stationery cupboard and the first aid kit.

[MuddlingThru]

1st day at school (for PFB of course). 20 mins after dropping him off.
School: We were expecting ds1 to start school today.
Me: So was I, that's why I dropped him off 20 minutes ago.
School: .... (long pause)... We will go and check the classroom
A few minutes later:
School: There are 2 children with the same 1st name, there should be 1 in each class, both had been sent to the same class.

Later in the year.
School: 'DS1 has caught his private parts in his zip. We aren't able to check it though. Would you mind coming in to check he is alright?'

[wonderif]

lol phone calls from school r so funny

mine, well mrs ..... u didnt send your daughter a lunch today !!!!

me, yes i did ,

her, no you didnt !!!!

me doubting myself ok, maybe i left it on the kitchen worktop.

was on way home and live local i will go get it and take it round, and then put phone down wtf am i going mad i put her lunch in her school bag.

phoned back could you please check her school bag,

her yes its ok we found it

grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

[ItsOscarTime]

Don't have any of my own to add as DS is only 3 months, but these are making me laugh :) . OP, I read your post as 'another child had thrown up on one of your DC's shoes' . Haha!

[lem73]

Thanks for all these stories! I have had a rubbish day and they've really cheered me up.

[LittlePushka]

Sometimes in my job I have to divert my mobile to my fab secretary and she relayed this conversation to me after DS had fell and bit his lip ...

Nursery: "Hello, is that Mrs Pushka?"

Secretary: "No, she is in Court this afternoon, who is calling?

Nursery: "It is Nursery here, is she likely to be long?"

Secretary: " Not sure, it is for sentencing today, can I help?".

Nursery (hand over phone to colleague):Oh My God, Mrs Pushka could be going to prison, should I call Social Services? Or should it be the police?

Secretary (yelling) " HELLO,...NO NEED,... REALLY,...HELLO,......"


to think Nursery felt I was a fully paid up member of the criminal fraternity!!!!

[HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon]

Pushka, that's hilarious

[PurpleOne]

I had a phone call at work a few years back when dd2 was in primary.

....'miss purple?'
me 'uhm yes?'
...its the ...school here, your dd2 has a stomach upset, can you collect her?'
me 'i'll be a while as i have to get the bus, is she ok?'
... 'you'll need more than the bus miss purple, to be honest, she's covered in shit'....
me....'
moreso at the language used, i had to lol, dd2 was ok in the end, just a bit of constipated overflow