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It was my daughter’s birthday this week, and I got her a scratch card just for a bit of fun.

She ended up winning £100 from a £5 card.

I mentioned it to a friend, but she felt quite strongly that she’d never let her child do anything like that, as she sees it as gambling.

It felt a bit over the top to me, to me it was just a harmless bit of fun for a special occasion....

Is she being over top?

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I have a 5 year old DS. For a context we are living in a small 2 bedroom flat. No upstairs no downstairs. The last couple of months he has started to ask me to go with him to the toilet. Not even physically just outside the door. First I thought nothing of it,kids being kids but now it’s getting kinda annoying already. The bathroom is literally an arms reach away. If I sit on the sofa I can see the door but he’s refusing to go alone. Even if I’m in the living room or kitchen and literally see him, I have to physically stand outside. There is always light in the hallway, I’ve talked to him and explained again and again that I’m here, just here, I can see you, I’m looking at you but he’s actually screaming and shouting that I need to go with him. No amount of talking and praising him works. And it’s starting to get in my nerves.
He’s NT if that changes something, he’s perfectly fine with toilets at school and anywhere outside. Sometimes if we are are the coffee shop for example he would tell me that he’s gonna go for the wee alone and I can stay here. I never do that of course but he has no problem going into the toilet alone and me waiting outside, but at home he’s literally shouting for me to stand in an exact spot all day. I would understand that if we had a big house and toilet would be far away/upstairs but it’s literally a metre away from where I am.
Is it just kids being kids? What to tell him? Because no amount of talking and explaining is working.

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That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

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Where does everyone keep wet towels.
changed the radiator in the bathroom so it’s no longer going to look like Dunelm with 4 massive bath sheets on it.
We don’t have an airing cupboard.

I don’t really want them dumped in bedrooms.
what’s the solution. A rail? A rack? Some hooks?

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I have read a million threads here about people being in the wrong bra size. At 60 years old after 4 pregnancies, 4 years of breastfeeding, weight gain, weight loss and menopause I decided I needed to get fitted. I was wearing at 38E (I have big boobs) came out a 34H 🤯🤯🤯. If someone said to me before that I was a H cup I would have cried but guess what, my size 14 dress fits perfectly. It’s apparently ok to have H boobs 😲. I’m officially mind blown. Go get yourself measured

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Long story short DS got a tablet for Christmas. His behaviour changed over night he became nasty smashing things lashing out. Completely different child! Half term last week he covered the garden in fence paint and the kitchen and also himself whilst I went to the toilet. When I came back and seen what he had done I lost it with him I threw his tablet and it smashed. Since then it’s been peaceful and his behaviour is getting much better.

The only issue is DH parents got him the tablet for Christmas and DS went and told them. They said to ds I need to apologise and replace it but we won’t be doing that. Should I just give them the money? DH also thinks it’s disrespectful but also agrees we’re not replacing it.

wwyd?

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Just wanted opinions here!

FTM. My newborn is 12 weeks old - he is a bundle of joy. It has just dawned on me that I have bought everything for him; from sudocream, to cots, to prams - all clothes, the full works. My hormones are settling and I am starting to see things a bit clearer. I worked until 36 weeks. Professional career.

I use coffee / nicorette (ex/smoker) (!) to keep me awake during all the nights feeds as I do those too. Essentially, I asked my husband to go and buy me those two things to get me through the night shift - I noticed he had transferred £30 for it from our joint account to his account? I was like what the hell? I pointed out I had paid for everything else. Is he taking the piss?!

AIBU?

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I remarried a couple of years ago, have 2 lovely children from 1st marriage, finally bought a house with OH that is ours together. We bought as tenants in common as I had bigger share of deposit.
OH is paying majority of household bills and mortgage. OH has an income 6x larger than me.
OH is getting p*ssy because I asked him to check on the dinner when I went to pick up DS for 10 mins. I asked OH if he could pick up kids from clubs one day next week- to which he has stated is a chore.
I work part time, spend all of my income on groceries/ petrol/ things for children/ my own bills eg phone/ car/ activities etc I have non left at the end of the month. My contributions appear to be of no value, because they are not as financial as those made by the OH. I’m always being reminded of the financial contributions that he makes. I am thankful for this, but I have made a very significant financial contribution already which seems to be forgotten.
I hate the way I am being treated in this respect, AIBU? My DC are not his and he plays a big part in their life, I feel like I cannot expect everything from him, and as he says, they are not his responsibility. Is it even possible to be appreciated fully by the man I married? I often feel that I have a teenager rather than a partner.

185

We have just got home from our staycation with my in-laws,sister in law, partner,our son, niece and her partner and toddler. The in-laws,niece etc all live in one house. We live a fair few hours away so only see them twice a year,so this holiday was a big thing. Our last holiday together was around 2002.

All throughout the holiday we felt like outsiders. They always had to sit together, leaving us pearched on the far sides at dinner,in the pub etc and basically excluded us. It was so odd. When it was their child's nap time,they all disappeared to the B&B. Thought it would have been nice for partner to spend some time with his father.

We did arrive one night a bit earlier to the meal and made sure we were sat in the middle and they made the atmosphere very awkward.

My partner was hurt but doesn't like conflict.
They all live together so you'd think they would be bored of eachother and want to spend time with us all.

Would you be hurt too? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

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Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

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DD, 17, only eats ‘clean’. She eats like this because she says she feels much better on it, and for her that’s a priority above all else. And, to be fair to her, she’s thriving. Doing well at alevels, volunteering, working, and generally a wonderfully bright and joyous person to be around. This is in stark contrast to the gcse years with school refusal, period pains, excessive sleeping, no homework completed ever.
if it’s relevant, and so as not to drip feed, she ticks every adhd box at the top, but not diagnosed although we’re 4 years in now on the nhs list, and she’s got through the first few stages, and probably autism, but is able to mask so much, that that isn’t noticeable to the outside world.
daily menu for her would be steak, eggs, salmon, about 4 different fruits/veg, honey, all organic, and meat/fish/eggs only cooked in a special non Teflon pan with tallow. Drinks are filtered water only, and a hot drink with ginger, lemon.
I didn’t think this was too bad, expensive yes but I can afford it, but many of her peers are eating junk on the daily, and drinking alcohol, so compared to that, I feel like she’s ok. Yes, I know there’s lots in between that and balance would be key but I can’t force any near adult to eat, and certainly not DD for whom telling her what to do has the exact opposite effect.
anyway. On here last night, i discovered there’s a diagnosis for this - orthorexia, and it scared me. Oh, one last thing, it doesn’t stop her eating out socially, she’ll order steak and chips and I’ll eat her chips.

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There are hundreds of tailored waistcoats in the shops.
Some are obviously too sexy, strappy, cropped, gaping at the navel. Some are smart looking, crew neck, high arm holes, long line. But somehow bare arms put me off. Nothing to do with arms, I am pretty toned, but I would not want a male colleague rocking up in a muscle vest, and these somehow feel disrespectful. What are your opinions on these? One example - Whistles Molly.

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I am 55 & have 4 pensions worth approx £70k. This is split 4 ways 1- £4900 2 - £5200 3 - £28,000 & 4 - £32000. My daughter is starting uni this year and would like to take out 25% to help her with accommodation and I have some other debt I would like to pay off. My current salary is £56k (if that's relevant). I am fortunate in as much as dad is downsizing his house next year and is going pay her accommodation from then and give me a lump sum from the sale so I will be able to pay this back onto my pension (or invest in an ISA - I'll speak to an IFA when I receive this) then and I will also be paying any future bonuses in from next year.

Before anyone comments, I know my pension isn't much at the moment but I should be able to build this up before I retire (hopefully 65ish).

I have no idea the best way to do this - in as much do I cash in the small pots or leave these and take from larger pensions.

Any advice would be great. TY

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When me and partner get a takeaway and share it he is obsessive over making sure we get half each, he will literally count pieces of chicken in a curry for example - how would this make you feel ?

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Inspired by some other threads (NC alert) I’ve decided the time is ripe for an overhaul/glow up. My plan is to make significant changes over a period of time and do a new one each month whilst keeping the old changes- nothing revolutionary but needed and I hope to get long term benefits/results.

at the moment my diet is pretty crap-which will be my next focus - the first was a new hairdo (which is a change and growing on me!), then multi vitamins, then 2L of water each day then a form of exercise each week.

In the short term before as I’m making bigger adjustments I’m hoping to get some advice on what are the likely to be the most significant gains to look like me but better.
I don’t like the feel of acrylics and currently don’t wear any make up.

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Name changed for obvious reasons but I’ve been around for a long while.

I suppose I’m just looking for an anonymous handhold/solidarity as no one in real life I can talk to.
After a couple years of not dating at all and just having a great little life with my dd I met someone nice at a work conference, lives close to me. Handsome, funny, patient etc.
Huge tummy flips when I see him, great chemistry etc.
Anyway, he said something in conversation about an ex partner that kind of pricked up my ears, so I did a Clare’s Law request. Police called me within 24 hours and did the disclosure the next day (today).
It was so so upsetting, the poor woman all this stuff happened to. And there are incidents reported over 2/3 years so not something isolated (not that it would make it better).
He has no convictions because charges were dropped before it went to court on every occasion.

I had an abusive relationship years ago, and have rebuilt my life and confidence. I didn’t even want a serious partner, and never want to marry or for anyone to meet my dd (he hasn’t thank god)

I feel so dizzy and sick, and sad and disgusted at myself that these men are attracted to me, and me to them.

He has been perfection over the past few months, a perfect gent, kind and funny etc etc so I really would have had no idea if my spider senses didn’t start tingling a few days ago.

He’s working away today thankfully so I have space to process without texting or calls from him. I just feel frightened and confused.

sorry for the ramble

306

I’m really having a hard time at the moment. Husband is suffering from chronic pain and is miserable, talks about little else, always here, irritable and depressed. I do get it but it’s left me with an awful lot to deal with.

We have 2 young children and our five year old is extremely challenging. I feel like walking away from my own life sometimes. I just keep thinking I can’t manage another day like this. Any enjoyment from life has gone. Can anyone relate?

7

Dd graduates this year, we’re beyond proud, we have funded her and will celebrate with her generously- but it’s only just occurring to me that graduation gifts are a thing?
Likewise flowers on the day, she seems to think they’re a thing, I think they’ll be a pain in the arse waste of money personally

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