Oddest phone call you have ever received from your dcs school?

[Mavend]

Today:"Hello,we are phoning you because a child has thrown one of your dcs shoes over the school fence.We are very sorry.The child in questions parents have been informed and are aware they may have a bill for the shoes.One of the TA's is trying to find the shoe"

Dear mumsnetters,I guess I should have been maybe been a little annoyed but I actually got a fit of the giggles.

I have a vision of this poor,poor TA,cursing and wandering about in the undergrowth searching for a Clarks schoolshoe.

[TeaspoonThief]

mobile phone goes as i'm helping to paint the set for a pantomime in the village hall

Me "Hello"
TA "Mrs TT can you come and collect DS2 we think he might have slapped cheek - it's going round"
me "Yes can you give me ten minutes i'm lying under a giant pumpkin trying to paint it and my paint will dry out"
TA "Yes ok"
TA thinks i've hung up
Teacher (obv in room too) "Is she on her way?"
TA "Yes in a mo ................
........
......... i'm sure she said she was trapped under a giant pumpkin"

[HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon]

Oi AnneWiddecombesArse!!!!!!

You haven't updated, has dh accepted your newest pinkest oinkiest arrival, Squirt?




As you were

[Al0uiseG]

Gorionine Just told ds that fainting during sex ed was quite normal after all. Apparently he got through the sex just fine but fainted at the birth :o

[MandaHugNKiss]

I remembered another one when in bed last night that was relayed to me by DS1 at home when he was, I think, Year 1 so still quite young. And quite the joker (still is). He told me he'd been sent to the headteacher's office for being racist. I was concerned and perplexed as a) the school hadn't called me/seen me when I'd collected him an b) he literally didn't have a racist inclination in his head - his best friend was black, and his two other close friends were asian.

I asked the headteacher about it after school that day as she happened to be at the gate overseeing the children being collected. Transpires the class were sitting on the carpet and the teacher was calling out letters of the alphabet to which the kids were supposed to put up their hands with items/words that began with that letter. When the teacher said 'K!' DS1, in an attempt to make his classmates laugh, shouted out 'KNICKERS!'. Which had the desired effect - the class erupted. The teacher, however, thought he'd called out niggers. And, suitably outraged, sent him to the headteacher. The headteacher, taking into account DS1's confusion, his past behaviour and the fact that ALL of his close friends were multi-racial, decided it wasn't 'meant in a derogatory racial way'.

I felt OH-SO smug as I pointed out to the Headmistress that the letter was K and DS1 had said knickers NOT niggers. So, he was infact being quite clever, given it was a silent letter, rather than racist and refrained from wondering if her teachers were infact illierate but did concede he was naughty to have shouted it out rather than put his hand up.

[AnneWiddecomesArse]

I haven't even mentioned piglet to DH. I was going to. But then I realised how stupid, foolhardy and impulsive I was being.
He is away with work for 11 days from Friday.

When he comes back, we will have a piglet; Squirt is being delivered next Thursday. I feel very bad and very quilty and very irresponsible and very deceitful. It's a foolish thing to do. I know nothing about keeping a pig. But my lovely neighbour is a livestock manager for the biggest farmer around here and is helping me; and it's his relative that's sold me the Squirt.
Poor DH has been on hamster burial duty for the last year. I think a pig might send him over the edge.

I'll take a 'photo as soon as Squirt arrives. At the moment I'm doing 5.30am to 11pm with work and am not seeing daylight.

[HoneyNorwegianRidgebackdragon]

Poor Dh ..... Although it sounds like he is s bit like my dh, a fair accomplis is met with a weary resigned shrug, and after a few days some enthusiasm

Hope you get some down time soon Anne, thanks for the update.

[NerfHerder]

Ceiniog welcome to MN!

Go and check out 'Mumsnet Classics' for a good laugh, then click on 'Active Conversations' and get stuck in... you'll never leave!

[Fimbo]

I have requested that this go in Classics. Can someone else do it too please?

[ManateeEquineOhara]

OMG @ being trapped under a pumpkin, that is sooo hilarious :)

Never had any odd phone calls from school, but once arrived at DD's Kindergarten to another child running over to me saying "The ambulance is on the way for Mini Manatee" (panic), went in to see the teacher giving DDs details on the phone (major panic). Then I realise she is standing in the playground, facing a wooden post, with a small crowd of children around her. She had trapped her finger in a random loop sticking out of the wood (crap Steiner School H&S).

[Mavend]

just checking in to say the shoe is still MIA.DC has gone to school in trainers.On questionning ds as to why he took his shoes off in the first place he looked at me and said seriously "Well,we were playing football and had no goalposts,so we used my shoes.I had to be the goalkeeper,obviously,because you don't have to do much running that would have been difficult without shoes".Children you've got to love them.

have read all of the stories on here,very funny.Think the "pocket billiards" one is my current favourite.Thank you all for making me laugh!!

[BoydieH]

My boss got an indignant call to ask why her child was not in school and she had to inform them because she was on a trip, with the school..... Hmmmm.

[Machin11]

Just marking this thread so I get to read the rest later!! Brilliant

[LollyT]

Received the following from the schools text system:

Text 1
Age 5 John Rocha blue coat with corduroy collar and cuffs has gone missing from class 2. If you come across it please hand it in to school reception.

Text 2- two minutes later
In case there is any confusion, the last text message concerned the loss of a child's coat with a John Rocha label and NOT the child itself.

[SeniorWrangler]

Nursery assistant: Hello, Dr SeniorWrangler, could you come to get your DS immediately please, he has a spot on his chest. (note: This type of call generally happened once a fortnight).

Me: I have just got off a plane in Munich. Is it a bad enough spot for me to go back into the airport, buy a full price ticket at about £600 to fly back to the UK immediately on the next available plane, and travel back up to nursery from Heathrow in a taxi to collect him? I can, but it will take me about six hours or so. Or DH can come but he is three hours away from you today.

Assistant: Well it's only one little spot and he hasn't got anything else wrong with him, so it's probably not infectious. No, you don't need to fly back. He'll be fine here until the end of the day.

WTF did they ring me for, then?????????

[toomuchmonthatendofthemoney]

loving these! looking forward to any calls when ds starts school in a few weeks, so i can add to this thread!

[toomuchmonthatendofthemoney]

i would vote for this to go into Classics too btw.

[lemonmousse]

I've actually made one of those phone calls to a parent:

Me: "Hello Mr.X - sorry to bother you at work, but we've tried your home number and your wife's mobile and little X is really feeling quite unwell - do you think you could pop over and pick him up?"

Mr X: "Weeeellllll, I'm actually in South Africa - would it be OK if I sent my mother?"

[BerylOfLaughs]

Not from school but I just had a phone call asking me to confirm my DOB for something, I said X/Y/77 and they replied "Is that 1977?"

WTF? No, 1877, idiot.

[coppertop]

When ds2 was in Reception I got a phone call late morning.

School: Hello, Mrs Coppertop. We wondered if you could bring another shoe into school for ds2 please.

Me: Another shoe??

School: Yes. He came in after playtime and asked Mrs X to help him tighten his shoe because it was loose. Mrs X noticed that one shoe was a size 9 and the other was a 12. Miss Y went over to the Yr3 class to see if your ds1 was wearing one of his brother's size 9s by mistake but he wasn't. So could you bring in another size 9 please?

[kateyfer]

I got a call from the (paid) nursery when DD was 12 months old to say "just to let you know your DD has had a nosebleed"

Me: Is she OK? how did it happen, did she fall and hit her nose on something?

nursery: um, no. actually she was sticking her finger up her nose off and on all morning, and the latest time she shoved it so far up, she caused a nose bleed. we just didn't want you to be panicked when you saw the bloody clothes!

me:

[ThePathanKhansWoman]

This thread is cracking me up! brilliant.

[NerfHerder]

coppertop - that has made me laugh! My colleague once came in with 1 blue and 1 black shoe on... she claimed she'd grabbed them out of the wardrobe in the dark, but at least they were the same size!

[onehellofaride]

marking my place love these but can't think of any at the minute!

[FootprintsOnTheMoon]

Our school secretary - kind soul - phoned me at the end of term, and as soon as I picked up she rushed to reassure me that Dd was alright and DS was alright and nothing serious had occurred and I was not to worry.

Once that was out of the way, we came onto the main subject of the call: was I aware that there were some arrears on Dds dinner money.

Funny in hindsight (!)