I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

Went back to bed

Left poor deprived child sitting in her jimjams on the laptop and went back to bed and actually fell asleep

Very very sleepy tonight.

Can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Don't forget: take half a Diazepam about now. This will relax your shoulder and means you wake up with reduced pain. You're doing so well, you should be proud of the progress you're making. :)

I can't I have the school run to do in the morning and the diazepam zonks me out.

I'm so fed up with this now. Meh.

Here's the thing. Take the Diazepam early doors. Taking it later may leave you waking up drowsy. Take it earlier. Then stay awake for a couple of hours if possible. Your shoulder gets a chance to relax whilst you're awake. Please do not neglect yourself. Sorry I didn't answer earlier. You know you were tired at 20.46. That's when you take the tablet. Then go to bed at 22.30. Then the Diazepam has a chance of giving you a few hours of natural sleep as it wears off.

How come you're on the school run? Aren't your children on holiday yet?

Another glarer here. Good advice from Nicholas. Take the diazepam ear Gish this evening then you won't feel so zonked but your shoulder will have had the benefit and you will have had the benefit of that.

I'm not going to glare :) I understand your concerns. Like Maryz says, you need to get through two weeks first to give your treatment time to work. That means taking the diazepam too. It will give your overworked nerves and muscles the rest they require. This alone will go a long way to making you feel better.

Have a very Mumsnetty (((hug))) from me too.

DD2 isn't off til Wednesday GRRRR so I have to drive every morning (no bus too far to walk)

I'm focussing on getting to Friday when the kids go to the ex and then I can get down to DP's and switch off properly, which makes me feel like a bad mother.

Oh, alright, I'll send hugs instead

And less of the bad mother shit ...

you lots are bossy

How are you doing, hathor?

house full of teenage girls.

There were boys in the kitchen earlier.

My ears are sore

They are making dessert I've to stay out of the kitchen

Sounds like fun at yours!

How are you today?

Bit bleurgh but that's the tablet and the state of the kitchen ....

I'm going to walk the dog and the kitchen better be tidy when I get back or little miss social butterfly will not be going out this afternoon.

Tough love! Like it!

How's the shoulder today? Did you take the diazepam?

I did - felt a bit woozy for a wee while after I woke up but nothing a shower and a coffee couldn't sort out

She's now pairing socks ... very slowly and with a totally stinking attitude

how's the pain level today?

Was very stupid and gave in to DD2 and took her swimming yesterday.

Shoulder hurts like fuck. Even half a tab didnt' touch it last night.

Zero sleep.

Doc this morning anyway.

I am in agony

Sorry to hear that, hathor (sorry - BIWI here!). Hopefully the doctor can sort you out.

And remember - if he prescribes tablets you must take them!

Will you get a chance to get some rest today?

She wanted to go so badly and DD1 had been a pita with am I / amn't I going to stay at my friends (she has her period and is still at the stage of it being A Very Big Deal) and I wanted to give her some 1 on 1 time - it's completely my own fault.

But as DP pointed out last night at least I'm going today so the doc can see just how bad it actually is (I have a tendency to minimise things like this)

I cannot wait until tomorrow til I get the kids to their dad and get down the road to DPs.

I plan on doing an awful lot of not very much indeed over the weekend.

That sounds like a fine plan.