I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

actually i took valium once, it did make me feel tired. A sort of fog that couldnt be shifted.

it's ok I read it this morning and I laughed too.

I've never done drugs and I don't really drink so the stoned feeling was oddasfuck.

I think you're right about it being unfortunate that it's at the same time as the AD's iyswim?

She only gave me a few with dire warnings of addiction - I think I might just take it this weekend and then next weekend when the kids are away with their Dad I'll be at DP's so he'll be around - part of what makes me uncomfortable with these tablets is being on my own with the kids and not feeling up to coping iyswim? Although so far I think I'm ok

Yeah Maryz that's what she said about the valium and the ad's - I've just taken the one for today - I can cope with the side effects as long as I remind myself they're side effects and they'll abate in a few weeks

Good point about the blind dive in as well.

you do talk sense

Are you spying on me?

Probably Maryz

Fuck the buzzy face thing is back and I Do Not Like It

Buzzy face and feeling very very nauseous.

I Do Not Like

I should really tidy up

[so not happening]

I better start the shake and fold ....

The rest of the side effects I can deal with. The nausea. The being jittery.

But OMFG the face buzz jaw clench thing is so fucking bastard annoying.

It will get better as you get better. X

Cider thank you. I hope so.

Didn't take the valium last night coz I've the school run to do this morning and my shoulder hurts. A lot.

I am wobbling about taking the tablet today.

Why ? I don't know I just am. I don't want to take it or at least if I do I'm going to have a tantrum about it.

Took it. Damn thing. Buzzy face clenchy jaw dead twitchy

GRRRRR

Stick with it and make sure you tell your doctor when you see her.

I will Nicholas thank you I feel daft it's not the worst side effect in the world and it only lasts so long (about an hour tops maybe? the buzzing anyway - the jaw clenching thing I have on and off )

I'm being a bit meh and pathetic wishing DP was here (we don't live together I won't see him til the weekend)