I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

I'm trying to take them around 10 because that's what the doctor advised.

Definitely feel nauseous now and not up to eating much.

It may be that these ones don't suit you. You need to find one/a combination that does. Also, see if you can get some counselling booked, as that might help too. And don't forget, some of these meds can take up to two weeks to kick in properly.

The doctor did stress the 2 weeks to see thing so I can stick it out since I know it's just for the start of it you know?

Counselling is another one of those things I don't do

But we're all counselling you here! To counsel means to advise - so you're doing rather well!

One step at a time. You don't do tablets either. :o

you both made me laugh.

I'm still doing the suddenly becoming aware of clenching my jaw thing. It is most irritating.

I just feel a bit rotten.

And this is my week of the holidays with the kids so I can't switch off iyswim - I have them til this day next week and then I get a week off - I've stuff to do but I also get to go to DP's and relax. And hopefully by then they will have kicked in a bit so he'll get the benefit of them

Haven't taken anything.

Am yawning my head off.

I mean I haven't taken any sleeping pills or anything

Go on, go on, go on, go on ...

OK you can all laugh at how pathetic I am.

Have texted DP and he has promised that I can text him when I've taken the tablet (just the half diazepam for now) and he'll phone me and talk to me til I fall asleep.

I'm turning into a total and utter wussy woman.

Okay.

Actually - Maryz has it. If you take the tablet, your muscles will relax, and thus you will be able to wave your arms around in gay abandon, without your shoulders hurting, thus you can run down the road with your knickers in the air!

I actually feel now.

Off to bed to take my tablet

Well half a tablet.

God I'm such a fucking chicken

Night. Hope you get a good night's restful and relaxed sleep!

chicken

If you hear of a mad woman arrested for running down the street waving her arms with abandon and twirling her knicks you'll know it was your fault

Will you bring me chocolate? huh?

Poor DP I feel like a shit. Saturday night and he's sat in waiting to phone me because I'm being a wuss