I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

In a nutshell. His family don't like me, never did. I have had problems in the past with them saying horrible negative things about me to the kids (as in all our married life) he never ever ever dealt with it.

When we first split it was awful - they were constantly slagging me off.

He eventually warned his mother/SIL/Aunt to wind their necks in and knock it off.

They didn't.

The Aunt is very sneaky and subtle and just all around bad news. I suspect it was her who reported me to the DHSS and said I had a boyfriend living in my house, for example (she has form she has done so before just out of malice). I didn't don't and never have had.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he took kids to visit the Aunt and she was slagging me off in a not-very-subtle but trying to be sneaky way. (don't take that to your mummys house you aren't allowed remember everything your dad or me buy you has to stay at his house you can't take it to your mummys house. Your mummy hasn't been very nice to your daddy. Your mummy doesn't buy as nice things as I do."

In the past it was your mummys horrible. Your mummys nasty. And worse.

DD2 told me.

So I told him. And he is shocked and horrified and upset and can understand why I'm upset and he's really shocked it's terrible.

But he won't do fuck all about it.

He was in the room. He heard it. But he didn't know how to challenge it.

Meh.

How horrible. What a nasty piece of work she sounds.

What are you considering saying to him? Is it something that you can just ignore, or do you want him to do something about it?

I know you must want him to say something/sort it out, but would it be possible to just let it go? Rise above it and all that? Your DC know that you're not horrible, surely?!

I spoke to him yesterday about it.

He wants 24 hours to think of how he's going to deal with it.

They do know, but I think it sends the wrong message.

The aunt has form for false reports to police and stuff (accused someone of hitting her when they hadn't there had just been a confrontation with a lot of shouting) so I don't want to tackle her.

I really don't want her anywhere near my kids and I think I'm going to have to take it to court.

If I try to talk to him he gets aggressive because he knows he should have said something and then I end up afraid and in tears. And it ends up the way it always did.

How is it all going, hathor? First, the meeting with the ex, and now your sex-filled weekend with DP?! [bugrin]

Meeting with the ex - not so good, he's full of fine words but I've heard them before.

Weekend with DP - [bugrin] I've had lots some sex and slept loads

Feel really good actually

I'm very pleased and also very jealous [bugrin]

I'm very lucky he's very good at sex sweet

I'm so pleased you've had great sex a great weekend. :o

Now you're just showing off ...

shhhh don't tell him he'll get a big head again

hathor!

Sorry