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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that you are not having a contract phone

208 replies

bongobaby · 21/01/2014 09:39

My ds has thrown a stop this morning saying I am ruining his life because he can't be normal like all of his friends. Reason being is that his phone brought as a birthday present isn't on a contract but on pay as you go. " All my friends are on contract and I'm not normal" "All my friends play 12/15 Xbox games"
I am against him playing them and want him to stick to age appropriate games.
He doesn't need a contract phone, this morning he went on and on about it. I need it on a contract and your not being fair mum.

OP posts:

feetlikeahobbit · 21/01/2014 09:41

How old is you DS? My DD is 11 and has a PAYG and so do all her friends afaik.

specialsubject · 21/01/2014 09:44

kids lie. All his friends don't have it. Even if they do, what's he going to do, call Childline?

if he wants a contract phone tell him that when he earns his money, he can have one. Whining and whinging didn't work when he was a toddler and won't work now.

no internet phone reduces ease of access to porn, stalking, sexting etc etc. Costs less, and is less stealable.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 21/01/2014 09:44

How old is he? He's probably right that a lot of his friends DO have contracts and do play 12/15 rated games. That doesn't mean that you have to allow him the same, of course.

Megrim · 21/01/2014 09:45

My 15 yr old is on GiffGaff (as am I). Excellent value and no worries about big bills being run up if the phone is lost or stolen.

flowery · 21/01/2014 09:45

What difference does it make whether it's a contract or PAYG?

LaurieFairyCake · 21/01/2014 09:45

If he's just looking to argue, feel free to ignore entirely and go and make a cup of tea.

I get the 'looking for an argument ' thing from dd all the time, last night it was that she was off to Greece with her friends this summer. She got a disinterested 'Greece is really beautiful from me' and I left the room to make that cup of tea.

What happens when you ask why? If he just goes on about being 'different' from his mates then I'd ignore it - no one ever knows if your phone is contract or top up, it's not obvious from the phone.

There's no reason to have it, and a whole host of reasons not to - which you don't have to explain.

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 09:49

I heard a horror story a few years ago about a teen and a phone bill i was [shocked] at how the teen had gone over, my dds got her first contract when she was paying it herself dd2 is on PAYG it is a good sim she gets enough mintues and texts for the month your son must be telling his friends or his friends are going on about contracts, you are not ruining hi s life by topping up monthly tell him to stop being so bloody dramatic and payg is better than no phone at all which he wont have if he cant behave

Original poster

bongobaby · 21/01/2014 09:53

Ds is 11, he isn't asking but demanding it as though its his right. Why can't he just be grateful for his phone.
Specialsubject ds has called childline on the home phone because the sky tv was cut off and according to him it was neglect and making him sad that he couldn't watch his program's. he was in the que waiting to be answered when I told him to put the phone down to them.

OP posts:

PenguinDancer · 21/01/2014 09:56

I would threaten to take it away for x time if he continues to be ungrateful (and follow through) and remind him who is paying for the phone.

Stick to your guns! :o

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 09:56

cos he is 11 and thinks it is a right to have x y z you need to nip it in the bud ime they can just demand more and more, and a phone these days is seen as an essential he sounds a handful I would confiscate his phone tbh and he will need to earn it back

januaryjojo · 21/01/2014 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dontletthemgetyoudown · 21/01/2014 09:57

my ds(16) had a contract phone he took mine over when I got a work phone, he ran it well and never went over for the first 10 months, then the contract as up for renewal he chose a new phone and within 3 months had started going over his bill. Ihad to stop it in the end as the bills went hundreds over and orange wouldn't put a cap on the contract.

Now he and ds2 (11) are on giffgaff, it does mean I have to buy the phone outright but at £7.50 a month or ds2 and £10 a month for ds1 you cant really beat it. ds2 has a sony xperia brought from amazon and ds1 an iphone 5 brought from smartfonestore.

I am always surprised at the amount other children usually have though. if ds2 says so and so has a ps4, ipad air, iphone 5s etc they usually have. so many of his friends facebook feeds and instagram feeds showing ipads and macbooks for xmas this year, as well as the iphones etc. madness

PenguinDancer · 21/01/2014 09:58

Remind him of his REAL rights - to bed fed, clothed, sent to school and kept warm. Everything else is a luxury, luxuries which YOU are in control of! :o

Stinklebell · 21/01/2014 09:59

YANBU. He definitely doesn't need a contract

My DD is 12, and has a Vodafone PAYG sim in my old iPhone. £10 a month gets her unlimited texts, 150 minutes of call time and some internet time. Plenty for her, her and her friends communicate mostly by text

I'd confiscate the thing if he kept on

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 10:00

see the hundreds over breaks me out in a sweat dd is nearly 16 and some of her friends do have iphones but she isn't that fussed she has a half decent smartphone on O2 PAYG

specialsubject · 21/01/2014 10:01

he actually called Childline? (this is a family joke when there is whinging, never thought someone actually does it!)

definitely time for some reality lessons. as penguindancer says, his rights are food, clothing, shelter, education and love. The last is conditional on vague attempts to be loveable.

'wanting to be like everyone else' is for sheep, and is something that he needs to be educated out of. (excuse horrible grammar)

derektheladyhamster · 21/01/2014 10:03

Is it the phone he doesn't like? I don't understand what the difference is whether your phone is contract or payg.

Ds got a blackberry for his 13th birthday, he is on a sim only rolling contract with virgin which works out cheaper than payg

CoffeeTea103 · 21/01/2014 10:04

Op please don't entertain this nonsense from him. He needs to learn that he already has everything he needs and should be grateful. And that "everyone has it" line is just a guilt trip line. If you give in to his demands it will make life very tough for you.

Starballbunny · 21/01/2014 10:05

DD2(almost 13) is on orange dolphin, which gets loads of free texts for £10 top up. She runs those out, she runs the £10 out. I top it up less than 6x a year.

DD1 has a galaxy ace on £13 month contract, as far as I know it doesn't go over, other than for the odd picture message. (In all honesty I haven't remembered to check the bank balance that carefully. DD1 is way more likely to FaceTime her DF late at night than ring/text because their mobile coverage is awful and ours is patchy too).

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 10:05

I am wondering if it is the phone too what phone does he have I wonder if he is getting confused with phones and contracts because you do get better phones on contract so if a friend has an all singing all dancing on contract then he is pissed off he hasnt got one too pfft to that

mrsjay · 21/01/2014 10:06

it is not his RIGHt to have a phone and sky television

Original poster

bongobaby · 21/01/2014 10:07

The handset is an iPhone 4 brought by a relative for him. So is a modern phone. I'm not working at the moment due to health issues, single parent and cannot afford a contract with the potential for him to incur a massive bill. Januaryjojo £30 is a lot of money. He just stares me out when I try to explain to him that its better to be on payg because I can't afford anymore bills to pay. "Why are we poor all the time, I'm fed up of it mum" "Go to work and then you can pay for my contract" ffs I'm getting fed up of his shitty demanding self entiltiled attitude at the moment.

OP posts:

17leftfeet · 21/01/2014 10:07

Both my dds, 10 & 13 are on contracts which are capped at £10 a month

You can add additional minutes if they run out but they don't need to know that

Dd1 used to have a PAYG but the call rate worked out at being higher even on bundles -and the bundles kept changing

I'd rather pay a fixed amount and know we've not missed a top up date by 1 day etc and have missed out on the deal

bronya · 21/01/2014 10:09

If he doesn't stop whining don't top it up at all, or take the phone away. He needs to realise that while you earn the money, you decide how it is spent, not him.

johnworf · 21/01/2014 10:10

Our DSS started off on a contract (£7 a month) but he hardly uses it (he has ASD) but then he started downloading 'artistic' photos from the internet The contract ended and he now has to fund his PAYG.

He is 14 and has an Xbox. If he spends too much time on it, doesn't do his homework or chores, I take the lead off it until further notice. It's not their right to have any of these things. It's a privilege and can be taken away as punishment.

As for the old 'all my friends have xxxxxxx' so what? You don't parent them!

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