DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

Was Paul Newman, discuss

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Women in your 50s+, would appreciate your wisdom. I’ve recently turned 40 and have been thinking about priorities for the next 10 years. I have lots of ambitions and plans (exercise more, get promotion, spend more time with children and husband, start my own business, etc.), but my time/energy is limited. What did you realise in your 50s-60s as being important to focus your energy on in your 40s? Did you miss that promotion that didn’t happen, extra money not earned from corporate job, time not spent with kids, not exercising enough?

for background - I work full time in finance (middle management), very toxic place with a lot of stress of a client facing role, not quite the field or environment I thrive in, but it does pay ok-ish money. I have 4 kids: toddler to teenager, no family around apart from husband who also works a lot.

my dream has always been to run my own company, but I’ve never had time or money to get going, still have a mortgage to pay. I still have aspirations to do it, but it also requires time and effort.

another option is to try and find a different job, though it comes with a risk of a new place being not much better than current one and new issues on top.

what would you really prioritise in this kind of set up? Would you try to put corporate role on back seat or actually put all effort in chasing a promotion? Would you leave corporate and try starting own business? What else?

My DH and I have always left mobiles etc in bag on/under lounger when we go in the pool or sea but I'm travelling for a week with my mum and she thinks this sounds dodgy and that we won't both be able to go in the water together. It's made me wonder if we've been to trusting in the past but I can't see what else you would do? One of those clear pouches round your neck for your phone? I've never seen anyone using one so can I ask what you all do?

I have had some issues with my stomach for the last few years and find anything with a proper waistband incredibly uncomfortable after about an hour. It makes me feel horrendous and often lasts hours after I take the trousers off. I live in high waisted leggings, light jersey trousers or dresses with tights.

I lived in jeans until this all started and I’m desperate to get back into them but after an hour I’m so so uncomfortable that it ruins my day 😔
I recently bought DS (5yo) some chino type trousers for a smart occasion and thought they were fab as they had the waistband of a pair of joggers rather than make of the chino material!!

If I could get proper jeans but with a very soft waistband it would be a dream!

Unfortunately, I’m not fitting in an age 5-6y anytime soon 😅🤣 So I’m on the hunt!

Has anyone seen anything that fits the description? Every time I search for ideas it just brings up loads of links to Halara. I believe they are more of a light and thin material rather than proper denim though unfortunately!

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

I‘m turning 40 later this year.

I‘ve always been into alternate music and fashion. But you wouldn’t really know to look at me. I‘m a teacher, wear floral dresses or jeans and t shirts.

I really want to get a piercing. I think it would be called a low labret. About a centimetre under my lower lip. It would be quite shocking to most people around me, but not to those who know me personally.

Has anyone else done this? Is this my mid life crisis talking?

Hello everyone,
Has anyone had a Universal Credit claim review where they had cash deposits showing on their bank statements?
If so, did the reviewer ask you about each cash deposit individually? What sort of questions did they ask, and were they happy with your explanation of where the cash came from, or did they ask you to provide proof/evidence?

Today, I’ve been asked to provide 4 months of bank statements, what happens next?

Just wondering what to expect from the review process.

Thanks.

I don't mean for something like a job interview where punctuality is vital, or for anything with a rigid start time. I mean just to meet someone or get somewhere in general.

When I'm meeting one friend of mine - who I do love dearly, by the way! - she insists on messaging me to let me know what time she's planning to leave, what time she HAS left and then, if she's even a couple of minutes behind schedule, will message again to say she's going to be a few minutes late; usually with added detail around the tube getting stuck behind the red signal, the escalator being broken or whatever. It makes me laugh, because if two or three minutes either way matters, she could be 30 seconds earlier by not sending the bloody messages 😁

I'm totally different. I wouldn't even notice someone being less than ten minutes late; it just feels like a normal margin of error. I certainly wouldn't message. If you're going to be 20 minutes or half an hour late then yes, tell me, but otherwise, why bother? I'm not your boss; I'm not going to make you do overtime to make up for it!

I know I sound horrible. I know I’ll get lots of hate saying leave him the poor man but I know a lot of women feel the same.
I love him but he just gets on my nerves anyone feel the same? Give me stories / things your husbands do that grate on you like a fork on a brick wall. 😂 I know I sound vile. I’m honestly not, just ughhhhh shudder.

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

Been dating for ten months. Both mid fifties and divorced for some years and both with adult children in their twenties.

Earlier today we popped into a local pub for a bite to eat. I'd just had minor surgery and was feeling huge relief and fancied a wee tipple as well. It was a busy Wetherspoons, Friday afternoon, loads of students and young people. The minute we sat down he could not take his eyes off four young women right in his line of vision. He commented as I noticed him staring, "oh look how she's almost wearing nothing, the top, it's backless, got no back at all" Then looking and looking. I looked around and four very pretty young girls sitting having fun. Yes a backless top. They all looked barely a day over 18. He then said "They look sooooo young. Like children... "

He stared and stared. Not long after they left. I only hope not because of him.

Then he said... "What shall we talk about then.... " He looked very embarrassed as I said nothing. I felt very uncomfortable.

A couple of weeks back we were out in a cafe and a group of girls came in, around 16 to 17 if not a bit younger at a guess. He stared and stared and said "Look at those teenage girls. I can watch exactly what's going on from where I'm sitting"

A few other times he has commented on teen clothing and how tight it is and done the staring thing.

Am I reading too much OK into this?

Morning MNers. I wanted to say a massive thank you to people who replied to my panicked thread on Tuesday about being called to HR. And thank you to people who DMed me as well. It was such a big help to get some perspective and to know how to prepare. Thank you!

Here’s the original thread: Page 40 | Called to HR for behaviour at an after-work event. Thoughts, please... | Mumsnet

Right, an update:
I had the meeting with HR this morning. It was a fact-finding meeting. I took a colleague from another department who made copious notes.

Basically, a complaint has been lodged against the guy who asked me “Why aren’t you drinking?” because he made inappropriate and unprofessional comments to a junior female member of staff after I’d left the drinks reception last week.

In response, he’s lodged a counter-complaint to say that he was ostracised and bullied at the event by several women. I am one of the women he's named, saying that I spoke unprofessionally and condescendingly, citing a couple of Respect At Work type policies. He hasn't lodged complaints about individual women but, I think, about the event and event organisers itself saying that they/it created a non-inclusive and hostile atmosphere for men, partly perpetrated by the women who were mean to him. The event itself was about a "woman's issue" so, yes, it was mostly of interest to women.

HR wanted to hear my side of the story which I told them as recommended by several posters (thank you again!). I told them he asked me an intrusive and unprofessional question which could raise issues re. several protected characteristics. I told them that I tried giving “soft no” answer as a social cue to avoid social awkwardness or embarrassment (i.e. the thing he’s accusing me of), then moved to be firm and clear (as taught on the leadership course) before I left the conversation.

I said that if my experience is anything to go by, his perception of being “ostracised” or “bullied” is very likely to be women setting professional boundaries – there are a few policies that talk about this which I cited.

HR said that its very unlikely his complaint will go anywhere, but they have to hear everything that happened that evening and fully investigate. I’m just waiting to hear back about that.

They’re going to use what happened to me (him persistently asking why I’m not drinking) as evidence of a pattern of his behaviour that evening in support of the original complaint about him.

DD 17 is at Reading for the first time has called us to say tent has leaked all bedding and all clothes are soaked. We are 2.5 hrs away and debating driving to take her to a launderette and give her dry bedding to then sleep in her mates tent. She has been hyped for months so feeling bad for her. Any seasoned Reading parents have any other brain waves?!!

I'm in my 70s and currently writing/updating my will, and I'm struggling with something I’d really appreciate some perspective on.

I have one son, who is in his mid 40s, and no other children. I always wanted a daughter, but never had one. In a strange way, I feel like I got that daughter through my DIL.

My son and DIL have been together since they were teenagers, so I've known her for most of her life. Before they were married, she would come over on weekends, cook in my kitchen, go shopping with me, and we would do all sorts of “girl things” together. I absolutely adored having her around. My son was always a lovely boy and I love him very much, but having her in my life felt like finally having the daughter I never had.

They have now been married for many years and have three children a 16 year old boy, a 14 year old girl and an 8 year-l old boy. They are wonderful grandchildren and I’m very close to all of them.

The issue is my jewellery

I have quite a lot of valuable jewellery that originally belonged to my mother. Some of it is very sentimental to me, and I would like to leave the jewellery directly to my DIL rather than to my son.

My thinking is that I want her to eventually pass the jewellery down to my granddaughter. I feel strongly about that because these pieces came from my mother, and I would love for them to continue through the women in the family. I don't really want my son to inherit them and then decide what happens to them.

There are also some properties/villas that I own, and my current thought is to leave those jointly to my son and DIL.

This is where I'm wondering whether I'm being unfair to my son.

When my DIL's own parents died, she inherited their estate in her name alone. My son wasn't put on any of it, and he never complained or seemed to think there was anything wrong with that. I completely understood that it was her parents' money and their decision.

So part of me thinks I should be equally entitled to make my own decision about what I leave behind.

My son is financially very successful and so is my DIL. They have a very good marriage, both have high-paying careers, and neither of them needs my money to be financially secure. Whatever I leave them probably won't make a major difference to their lives.

But this isn't really about money for me.

My DIL is the person who checks on me medically, makes sure I'm doing okay, visits me roughly once a week, helps with things and generally keeps an eye on me. My son does plenty for me too, and I don't want to diminish that, but if I'm being completely honest, my DIL is the one who has been more involved in my day to day wellbeing.

I love my son, but I also genuinely see my DIL as my daughter.

Would it be wrong or hurtful to leave the jewellery directly to her while leaving the properties jointly to both of them?

I don't want to punish my son or make some statement that I love him less. I simply want to leave certain things to the people I feel they belong with emotionally.

I'd really appreciate some honest perspective, especially from people who have been through wills/inheritance issues in their own families.

Has anyone watched this?

It's really good. Although always sounds a bit strange to say that about a real life case

I hadn't followed the case at the time so I didn't know any of the details either

Yet another new thread for more Sussex shenanigans!

I’m looking for some inspiration for a wardrobe refresh - can anyone recommend any good websites/social media accounts where I can look for ideas please?
I’m late 50s, 5’8”, size 12-14, very pale so don’t like showing any cleavage or leg, like to be comfortable rather than fashionable but would like to look a bit more “together”
I don’t mind spending a bit for good quality but can’t afford designer prices. Ive tended to impulse buy in the sales and now have several items in my wardrobe that I’ll probably never wear…I’ve tended to buy stuff from m&s, Hobbs, boden, Seasalt and have found them all a bit hit and miss.
if anyone has any suggestions I’d be very grateful x

I'm currently looking at my wardrobe and what I might want to update it for autumn.

I'm mid50s, 5'7" and size 14.

I'm currently looking at these:

Boots
https://lanxshoes.com/collections/womens-boots/products/edgworth-brown-distressed

Jacket
https://www.marksandspencer.com/faux-leather-harrington-jacket/p/clp61227207?color=SAGE&extid=ps_ps-pla-pmax_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_bau_tier1&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=23464567334&cq_con=&cq_term=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23459513439&gclid=CjwKCAjwtKrUBhAhEiwAr77ZouxSW1TOKd2eot-kyFgHD7u41KdbxQwXep71n0a8z0pK0sj6BWAaWRoCJVAQAvD_BwE

And carrot shape jeans.

What have you got your eye on?

At first my neighbour appeared to be quite nice to me, sent me Xmas cards, said hello all the time and I would take her parcels in etc.

But she got funny when her son began kicking footballs over the fence and at times I wouldn't open the door as I would be busy with with my baby etc. Some days I did take days to throw it back as I simply forgot.

She and 2/3 other mum on the block formed a clique and I was very much excluded from.
I would often hear them slagging of other neighbours in the street etc.

I kept my distance and started ignoring her and then back.

From what I understand (it's been all over what's app group) she over heard her so called friends slagging her of the other day and made her cry.

Her son came round the other day with some rock he had got of holiday.

This came out of nowhere as before this he would just blank me when we said hello ( he is about 7).

The police have also been involved in another issue with her and another neighbour when it got physical and she was assaulted.

DH and another neighbour think she is trying to be friendly but I'm not interested due to how she has treated me for no reason.

AIBU to just continue ignoring her?