Was I wrong to mention a colleague's visible period stain?

[StephE]

Last week, I noticed that my colleague had a blood stain on her backside. It was very obvious that her period had either started unexpectedly or she had leaked through protection. This was not what I would categorise as a small stain. As soon as I realised that she was unaware and was going to keep walking around like that, I simply told her that she has a stain. I did not even utter the words blood or period. Ever since, she has been trying to avoid me as much as she can, and I can tell she's upset that I said it in front of our other colleagues. Because we're nurses, I really did not think it was a big deal. We all have an understanding of the human body and its functions. She is considerably younger so that may be it. I have considered apologising but do not want to make the work atmosphere more tense. Was I wrong to say anything?

Why didn't you have a discrete word with her instead doing in front of colleagues?

Why on earth Did you tell her in front of others?

Edited because read it properly

How did you tell her?

I agree with the PP - not an issue to have mentioned it sensitively but not in front of other people.

YANBU to tell her, YABU not to pull her aside and tell her quietly where others couldn't hear.

Nasty to tell her in front of others.

Fine to discreetly take her to one side.

But I expect you know that.

You weren't wrong to say anything but she might have found it embarrassing to be told in front of others. Yes you are all nurses and periods are natural and normal, but we still keep them private from work colleagues. It was good of you to tell her but perhaps in front of others wasn't ideal

You told her in front of other people? Ouch!

Ever since, she has been trying to avoid me as much as she can, and I can tell she's upset that I said it in front of our other colleagues

There was no need to say it in front of anyone else was there? You could’ve been more subtle.

You shamed her. And it wasn’t necessary. I would avoid you too. She probably thinks you’re a mean person.

Yes you were wrong to tell her in front of others - she deserved some privacy and dignity, just as your patients do.

I would apologise to her in private, and say that you reflected on the way you spoke to her and that you realise now you handled a sensitive issue badly.

Exactly.

Do you usually like creating scenes / drama OP?

Horrible thing to do. I'd have told her quietly away from anyone else. Or I'd have ignored it entirely.

You were right for telling her but seriously wrong for doing it in such a public way.

That wasn't very nice.

You clearly embarrassed her. Why wouldn’t you just gently and discreetly tell her ?

You are a nurse and seriously did not have discretion to say this in private? Surely you afford your patients dignity . so why not a colleague?

Not nice. A ‘friend’ this to me once although it wasn’t actually a period stain (I wasn’t on period). We were on a group spa break and I had a red cotton wrap tied around my waist. My swim suit was wet and light coloured so when I stood up there was a light red stain on it. She said loudly in front of all our friends (and other people in the spa) “Eastie are you on your period? You’ve leaked everywhere!” It was incredibly embarrassing even though it wasn’t a blood stain.

I’m sure you know calling this out in front of others would embarrass your colleague. You sound unpleasant.

Not wrong to tell her, very wrong to tell her infront of others. I cannot think of any situation where that would be ok.

You said it in front of colleagues? Of course you did. #bullshit

I'm going to disagree with PP. I honestly think it would've been more cruel for you to ignore it and allow her to remain oblivious. Other people probably saw as well and just didn't say anything to her (which is significantly worse to me). I know from experience that you don't always have a moment to speak to a colleague privately.

I would have text her if she had a phone handy.

Well, she's reacting better than me. I had a colleague do this to me in front of men. I swear she did it on purpose to embarrass me. I was furious. 🤬

Why didn’t you tell her when you were on your own? Yes, she must’ve realised afterwards that other people will have seen it, but given they didn’t say anything she could’ve told herself nobody else saw it and been relieved. Instead you totally embarrassed her.

Not nice at all.

You were very insensitive to mention it in front of colleagues. Why on earth didn't you have a quiet word out of earshot of others?

You should have mentioned it in private , even if everybody else had already seen it . Easy enough to ask for a private word .