AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

Ugh how long have they been together?

I'm not exactly sure but around a decade ffs I'm disgusted

Yes unfortunately
Hopefully she doesn't shoot the messenger

Yes you have to tell her . What a creepy man . And deluded . WTF does he think your reaction will be ? Oh great because that pic makes me want you too ? Prick . Literally.

Ewwww yes. Tell her now. Forward a screenshot

It could probably ruin your friendship at future gatherings if she will be thinking he wants you. I would leave it. But reply to him and ask him why he thinks its ok to do that too your friend.

I did screenshot (and sent straight to my secure folder so no chance of DD11 seeing it) and I am furious that this will affect our friendship as I'm aware she's put up with a lot of crap from him previously and she will either put up with this or this will be the thing that tips her over the edge to kicking him out, either way I'm now slap bang in the middle of it through no choice of my own

Gross - but is there anyway it could be a mistake and meant for her?
That will be his defence.

I would tell her and lose all respect if she stayed with him so would move on from her, it is simple to me and if she wants to stick her head int he sand up to her

I would tell her, but phrase it as "I think this was sent by mistake "....that gives her an out. Even if she knows that's not the case and you know that's not the case, it could save your friendship.
Either way, she needs to know.

@Alittlefrustrated it was sent 2hrs before I woke up and saw it which you'd think would be enough time to realise his "mistake" and delete the message so I don't think that excuse would work out too well for him.

@PollyBell I wouldn't judge her however she decides to deal with it, she will have my support regardless

@Anyusernamewilldo8963are you going to see her in person anytime soon? To me, this warrants a conversation, face to face, asap.

as for him, I would stay absolutely silent. Not even an emoji.

Does he normally message you? How were your previous interactions? Am trying to gauge context behind his decision to send that to you, and will imagine she will try to do the same.

I couldn’t not tell her
what if she finds out anyway and knows you kept quiet about it

If you want to preserve the friendship, you could give your friend the face saving option of "this might have been a mistake but...". You know it isn't, he knows it isn't, and she will know it wasn't, but it might make it easier on her.

Forward it to her and say I think this was meant for you not me. Lets her know without drama. Up to her how she deals with it going forward.

Yes, you've got to tell her. Today. Can you arrange to see her f2f? If not , ring her and then send the photo to her as "proof".

It'll change your relationship with her forever I expect

He'll say to her that he was drunk and meant to send the photo to her. She'll believe him

Edit - obviously block him

Assuming you've not replied, you could always respond to him and ask if he meant to send it to you or if it was a mistake, and then you can tell her what his response was too. Either way he's trash and she should get rid but at least she'll have the full picture.

This sounds really bizarre. Has he messaged you before? Any indication that he has been flirty with you?

There is the chance he was out with mates and they messaged random women in his phone.

But yeah I would tell the friend I had received an odd message and then it's up for her to investigate.

Good advice!

@raspberryrisotto he sent something earlier on that I didn't even look at, he would occasionally forward videos and I very rarely respond and if I do its usually a lol or emoji. I haven't responded to either message sent last night/this morning.

I have messaged her and asked her to phone me and now I'm just feeling sick waiting to speak to her and blow up her life

He's never been flirty with me and as far as I'm aware he was home and can't blame anyone else for sending the message.

"hi nigel, this was obviously sent to me rather than friend, I'll make sure I get it to her, save you the bother. Hope all is well (get that mole checked btw!)"

I know of someone else who had the same happen to her.
i wouldn’t tell my friend but would reply with ‘oh dear, you must have sent it to the wrong person, but careful next time, it’s not exactly something people will be attracted to, there’s much better out there!’
you know she’s put up with much more, she’ll stay with him now too even if you tell her.

This is so odd that he'd think you wouldn't tell her. Did the message include your name. Any chance it's a mistake,?

I'm surprised at pp who actually think that OP shouldn't tell her friend. She would not be much of a friend if she didn't tell her.

I must admit though i'm surprised OP is on messaging terms with this guy given she says he has form for shitty behaviour to her friend.