To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

[ComeOnNowww]

I want help! People's tips. I don't understand how people manage. I live in a fairly large old house.

This is my weekday routine

7am wake
7.30 - 8.30 getting kids ready for school (primary)
8.30 - 9.30 rush to office or back home to wfh.
9.30 - 5 work my arse off. Back to back meetings
5.30 pick up kids from after school
6 - 7 dinner
7 - 8 bath, bed
8 - 9 constantly put kids back to bed. Feel like tearing my hair out
9 - 9.30 basic tidy, dishwasher, check uniforms
9.30 - 10.30 try to do bits but in all honesty drink a wine and watch telly

My house is disgusting. I mean real mess. - my bathrooms are gross, dust everywhere. Im sprinting to stay still. Just about keep the show on the road but dusting, hoovering, proper cleans so hard to do

At the weekend, i do what i can. But all boys - primary school - and theyre so hyper. If I dont take them out they're out of control

What are other women doing? I dont know how womens homes look normal when they have young kids and work FT. My house is bad enough so id be embarrassed to let somone pop round. No parents. Husband MIA.

Practical tips? I feel like im missing something.

Your house sounds like mine. I’ve been staring at the same boxes for weeks now that I haven’t the time or energy to sort.

What do you mean your husband is MIA? Does he not live with you? Is he the father of the children? Why is he not participating in the adult domestic work?

As a side note, if you’re a single mum I’d have to say that 7am is a late start. I mean, I’ve got a fully functioning spouse and we get up at 6 to make the day work

Edit to add we e also got a weekly cleaner for 4 hours and still have to get up at 6 😵‍💫. Please explain what your husband is doing??

I have a cleaner. I try to list at least 2 items per week on vinted / free marketplace. I keep telling myself one day I'll live in a tidy house and miss the chaos

Sorry no tips. Mine are 17 & 15 now, and although I’m in a much better place domestically than their younger years, I still chase my tail. I honestly do not think, whilst working full time, I’ll ever be house ready for visitors until the kids move out.

Don’t sweat it, it’s not worth it. As long as you’re a good mum to your kids then that’s all that matters. You can clean when they’re at Uni.

Totally get this, single parent for 20 years, full time demanding job, get the basics done but that’s it. Would hate anyone to pop around unexpected. And little spare cash, after holidays and wine that is!

I'm single, no kids or husband, just me and the dog and my house isn't exactly in shape either! Don't even mention the front or back gardens

Get up an hour earlier, pay for a cleaner, potter for an hour tidying up/getting organised before bed instead of watching TV

Get a cleaner.

if your DH isn’t actually gone but being crap divide and conquer.

If you can afford @ComeOnNowww, robovac (one for up and one for downstairs, if you can stretch to it)

initially, if you can keep a clean/tidy kitchen and bathroom/s then everything else, as and when.

If you're on your own with energetic youngsters and working full time, a "show" home is really not a requirement. 🌻

OP needs downtime, plus there’s so many good series on TV to watch!

Hire a cleaner 🤷‍♀️

I get up at 6.20 so by the time I wake the kids at 7.20 I've already got at least something done in the kitchen plus got myself fully ready.

I also don't watch TV, and go to sleep around 9.45 usually as soon as kids are both definitely asleep themselves.

Totally relate to feeling like I'm constantly behind though.

keep rooms aired and beds clean with fresh sheets
Dyson rechargeable vacuum to make light work
one all purpose spray that you can use in most rooms to do a quick wipe around
one room a day in the morning
reduce what you own, it’s not going on Vinted like you promised yourself, take it to charity

We have a cleaner (who is a gem and also tidies). When we didn’t, it was exactly the same. I think you just have to make your peace with being in mess until circumstances change. I actually think messy houses are the majority. But obviously you are less likely to see them.

No judgement from me as you clearly have a busy life (yes other people might get up earlier and be busier but you're hardly slacking). The things that jumps out at me is that you spend 3 hours every evening doing dinner, bath, bed. I know you say the 8-9 slot is putting kids back to bed but can you use that 3 hour period more efficiently? Clean the bathrooms whilst they are in the bath; let them have 8-8.30 as quiet time in their rooms when they don't have to be in bed but are out of your hair and you can get on with something productive?

And yes of course there's a big question about your DH's role and input but hard to comment further with the limited detail you've given.

I can’t quite work out whether you’re a single parent or not??

Apart from getting a cleaner….

Are you going to have any time off over the summer? Could you take some time to blitz the house then one weekend a month set aside for a proper clean and in between just do maintenance.

Yes, so going to bed at 9.30 to be asleep by 10/10.30 (I struggle to fall asleep) and then getting up at 6am. I did think about that. As id have a decent chunk of time. But I cherish that last hr of the day. Tv. A herbal tea or a wine. One hr a day of not being needed by people. The only option i see is losing that last hr and then I get up mich earlier

Husband is in the house in body only. Im trying to split. But my routine will be the same if im single in name or reality.

Same. I never have anyone round and spend every Saturday cleaning. Joyless isn't it.

Most primary age children don't need a bath daily. Can you reduce that to speed up the bedtime routine a bit?

First let me say you're doing a terrific job. Everyone's house is a mess unless they have time when there are no kids around to clean up. And then within the day it will start getting messy. Even getting a cleaner is hard going, because you have to tidy first - but it does get you into good habits.

With that in mind, here are a couple of tips that work for me:

I allow the kids (3 and 6) one TV programme for free each day, and after that they have to earn 'tokens' by doing jobs. It mainly involves helping me in a not terrifically helpful way, but they are at least not making the house untidy at the same time as I'm tidying it. and maybe they'll get better as they get older. Jobs might be: helping me hang up or take the washing down from the line. sorting out which are their clothes from the clean clothes. On rare occasions they will put the clothes away.

Get them to do a tidying up race. Or do a 3 minute whizz around to pick up their own toys to music.

Also we have benefitted from reducing the number of toys they have access to, putting them on rotation and using the toy library rather than buying toys.

I'm thinking of hiring a professional declutterer to help us do some sorting, so that things have a proper place at least.

Looking forward to hearing other people's ideas.

I’m taking a 20K pay cut to go part time to get some semblance of balance in my life. I’m sick of being so busy at work and so busy at home. Something has to give. I’m thinking less about the money I’m losing and more about the time I’m gaining. I do have the option to increase my hours back up in the future but for the time being it’s a no brainer for me. I’m a single parent. Child’s father now lives overseas so no let up at all.

Yes but you'll have one less child to clean up after, and possibly every other weekends free

When you split, will he have some of the custody? I'm going through it too and really enjoying having a bit more time to myself.

I do tasks broken down. So anything with glass spray (mirrors/internal doors) one day, just all of them in 20 mins. Hoover upstairs one day. Sweep downstairs most days. Clean sink when I’ve been to the loo, and wipe the surfaces in the loo or bathroom. Stick bleach down loos before bed. Just something every day.