Do you think it’s worth it? I actually went to private school and it’s all I’ve known so I am biased I suppose as I loved school. But I’ve never been a parent paying for it and I’m interested in hearing from people who have done that or are doing it, particularly with the VAT increase.

Just to add I don’t care about academics, that’s not at all why I am considering it. Whilst I want ds to do well and work hard, I know that can happen at state or private. What I’m keen to know is whether the experience of school is better? Are the kids happier? Do they have a nicer day to day life? Do the smaller classes really have a positive effect?

For context spare income is around 2.5k a month (we also have 50k so far saved) so we are not mega wealthy by any stretch but given it is such an expense, do you feel it’s worth it?

Was Paul Newman, discuss

How do you cope emotionally with a sexless marriage when you don’t want to leave (for now)?
I’m mid-40s, married to my husband since we were very young, and we have two secondary-school-age children. We haven’t had sex for around two years.
This isn’t something I’ve only just realised, and I’m not really looking for “LTB”. For various reasons, particularly the children, their schooling and exams, I don’t want to break up the family at this point. We actually function pretty well as a family. There is affection between us — cuddles, hugs, companionship — but there is no sexual intimacy.
Historically I’ve been the more dominant one in our relationship, including sexually, and I think I carried a lot of that side of our relationship. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to initiate and drive everything. I want to feel that my husband actually desires me and comes towards me.
Something brought it home to me recently. We spent time with another couple and the wife is a very strong, dominant, successful woman and the main breadwinner. But her husband is clearly sexually attracted to her. She casually talked about things that turn her on, kissed him, mentioned him always touching her bum etc. Nothing outrageous — just an obvious sexual connection between them.
It really affected me. Not because I want her husband or necessarily want their marriage, but because I realised how much I miss being wanted. Seeing that she can be a strong, dominant woman and still have a husband who pursues and desires her also challenged something in me. I think I’ve always had some fear that allowing a man to be sexually dominant would somehow mean being controlled by him. Seeing them made me realise those things aren’t necessarily connected.
I also have a child with additional needs and life has been exhausting and stressful for a long time, so I can see how we’ve ended up letting years pass while dealing with everything else.
But underneath all of that, I feel profoundly rejected. Sometimes I look at other women whose husbands obviously desire them and feel “less than”. I hate that because rationally I know my worth isn’t determined by whether my husband wants sex with me, but emotionally it really hurts.
I have friends, a career and interests. I go to the theatre, have been going to the gym and intend to get back to it, and I’m trying to invest more in myself. So I’m not really looking for advice just to “get a hobby” or keep busy. I can have a full day and still come home and feel the absence of being desired.
I’m also not asking how to change or fix my husband. I’m increasingly aware that I can’t, and I’m not even sure I want to spend my energy trying.
What I’d really like to hear from women who’ve been in this position is: if you stayed, at least for a period of time, how did you protect your confidence and sense of yourself as a woman? How did you cope with the loneliness and longing without constantly feeling rejected?
And did you eventually reach a point where you knew what you wanted longer term?

I used AI to help me compose the post

For context I have 2 beautiful children (4 and 7). I’ve never felt “done”. My head says no but my heart says yes. I feel empty. I yearn so desperately for another baby. My husband is not against it at all but he’s with my head in that we can’t really afford for me to have another maternity leave and return part time (I’ve taken a step down in my job to enable me to be with our children more).
How do I get over this feeling?!

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

In reference to The Most Beautiful Man thread,

Just for balance, I thought we ought to show the women as well...

Gong Li
Zhang Ziyi
Louise Brooks
Cyd Charisse

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I've just come to bed and I'm disappointed again by the terrible quality of the items I bought.

I paid for next day delivery several hours before the cut off (I paid at 2pm and the cut off is 7pm) but my items didn't arrive until three days later.

I ordered one pair of soft feels like down king size pillows and one pair of 200 thread count plain pillowcases.

The pillows are incredibly flat and feel empty. Yes, I chose the soft version but they're about an inch thick and don't feel soft at all. My old pillows have been in use for about 18 months now and are still double the thickness. One pillow has a section with no filling at all.

The pillowcases are genuinely awful; incredibly rough even after washing several times. They're so rough they've irritated my skin and I can't use them. I washed them at 30c as the label advised, using Fairy laundry detergent which I use for all of my washing. One case also had a long piece of cotton hanging from it. When I looked more closely there is a hole in the seam.

Overall I'm incredibly disappointed because the quality of both products is absolutely shocking. I can't return the pillowcases because I've washed them, and I removed the tags from the pillows so they can't go back either.

I'm genuinely considering asking my back to do a charge back because the items were not worth the money.

dusk.com/products/pair-of-feels-like-down-pillows

dusk.com/products/pair-of-plain-dye-classic-pillowcases-200-thread-count-white

Clothes accessories cosmetics everything.

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

I have had some issues with my stomach for the last few years and find anything with a proper waistband incredibly uncomfortable after about an hour. It makes me feel horrendous and often lasts hours after I take the trousers off. I live in high waisted leggings, light jersey trousers or dresses with tights.

I lived in jeans until this all started and I’m desperate to get back into them but after an hour I’m so so uncomfortable that it ruins my day 😔
I recently bought DS (5yo) some chino type trousers for a smart occasion and thought they were fab as they had the waistband of a pair of joggers rather than make of the chino material!!

If I could get proper jeans but with a very soft waistband it would be a dream!

Unfortunately, I’m not fitting in an age 5-6y anytime soon 😅🤣 So I’m on the hunt!

Has anyone seen anything that fits the description? Every time I search for ideas it just brings up loads of links to Halara. I believe they are more of a light and thin material rather than proper denim though unfortunately!

In October I’ll start 3x EC and 9x Paclitaxel taking me through to February. The thing I’m most concerned about at the moment is - will I be able to do the school run? I know nobody knows how I’ll personally react to chemo and everyone keeps saying plan for not being able to do it which I will but can you tell me if you had primary ages kids, too young to be allowed to walk home, did you manage the school run?

I’m 1.5 miles from school, flat apart from going up and over a railway bridge.

I can park 0.4 miles from school, will still need to go up and over the bridge.

I could drive all the way and battle with the Range Rovers.

In all options I’ll need to stand in the school yard and have DD handed over to me, she wouldn’t be allowed to walk herself to and from the car or home.

My DS is best friends with a couple of boys at school and I’m superficially friendly with the mums. We don’t know each other well but one of the boys has been to ours for a drop off play date a few months ago, and we chat at school events. All fine. The children are 8. My son was invited to this boys birthday (was a small one of just four) but he couldn’t make it that was months and months ago. We weren’t invited back to this boys for a play date after we had him at ours - again no pressure for this as I wasn’t expecting it just painting a picture.

My DS has been really keen to see his friend over the holidays and I know the friend really wanted a play date as well as when I saw the family before school broke up my son’s friend was begging me and his mum for another play date so I’m confident it’s not an issue with the friendship. About a month ago I messaged the mum inviting her son over and she read the message and completely ignored me. I wasn’t expecting an immediate response but isn’t that rude to just point blank ignore an invitation?

I start assuming she doesn’t like me or doesn’t want our children to be friends. My son is well behaved no behavioural problems. AIBU to expect a reply even if it’s to decline the invitation? With school going back soon I’m going to feel self conscious bumping into her now and I know as soon as I see her son he is going to ask to come over to ours again.

I got a puppy at the end of last year, and I have an adult dog (both very small breeds). To begin with the puppy was completely unphased by my two cats. Prior to getting the puppy, my older dog was also absolutely fine with the cats, she might get a bit frantic if the cats get too close to where her treats are kept (because obviously the cat really wants her dog treats 🤔), but generally no probably at all.

My two cats are very different characters. One is very brave and doesn’t give a shit about anything, and the other one is scared of his own shadow. He’s always kept his distance from the dogs, and they can pick up on the fact he’s scared of them. My braver cat muddles along quite happily with the dogs, so it’s not all cats that are a problem, just my scaredy cat.

Over time the puppy has got progressively worse with the scaredy cat, he gets really hyper and squeals/barks when he sees the cat, and chases him. Our house isn’t very big so the poor cat can’t escape easily. And now my older dog has decided to sometimes join in with this game.

I tell them off each and every time and things have maybe got a bit better, but they’re still horrible to the poor cat, who now rarely comes into the house because of them. Today they chased the cat so I told them off and put them in the garden (in the rain) for a time out, only for about a minute. I felt awful doing that but they really do need to learn to stop doing it. Not sure whether this will be effective or not, but they are clingy little fuckers so knowing that they are in my bad books and being kept away from me is probably the worst thing that could happen to them in their heads.

Rehoming any of them isn’t an option, I feel like this can be worked through but any suggestions on how would be appreciated.

I have 2 dc with my ex (8 and 10) he usually has them 3 days a week and every half term, 2 weeks of the summer holidays and we alternate Xmas. Works well.

His wife has recently got a new job and initially it involves a lot of travel apparently. She won’t travel alone.
He has now informed me that there are 3 weekends he can’t do between now and Xmas plus he can’t have the dc during October half term and there are a couple of other days too that he can’t do, no option to move days as he has to work and is self employed so when he’s travelling with her he’s just not working.

AIBU to think this is strange ? Why can’t she travel alone , apparently she doesn’t feel safe and he wants to support her but she isn’t going to any dangerous countries !!!

Has anyone found such a thing? If they fit my tummy and thighs then they gape round the waist so much I could fit a small child in there with me and either have to wear a belt (adding extra lumpiness to an already lumpy area) or spend the whole day hitching them up. Happy to pay decent money for just ONE pair which fits me (although obviously would rather not pay £££). Am a size 16.

Thanks in hope!

Is it normal to have to buy all text books and exercise books etc for sixth form at a state school? Just curious really, having splashed out over £100 worth of text books this week (and that’s only half of what’s needed over the two years).

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Do you use a dehydrator to preserve any of the food you grow? I’d love to know more. How do you rate it? What do you put in it and is it worth the space it takes in your house? Thanks!

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I need to stop spending a fortune in pret or m&s during office days and be more organised with my lunches.
I have a long-ish commute (London), 1 hr and 15 mins or so, door to door. Office has a fridge but I am considering getting myself an insulated lunch bag to keep food fresh longer. I have seen some very lovely ones and wanted to treat myself to one but is it worth it? Curious to know how people use these. I don’t want to hold it with my hand as I commute with a backpack for practicality and comfort and want my hands free. They seem a bit too bulky to put in my backpack though once I also have the laptop, work stuff and change of shoes etc.
How does everyone do this? 😅

Not a real scenario, watching eastenders, and have thought about being asked to donate something to an unknown sibling

I dunno, I dont know if I would 🤔

I can't stand the heat. I holiday pretty much only in snowy places, some of which get dark very early. I have not coped well this summer. I also have a heart problem that isn't helped by hot weather. It's making me seriously consider moving to Scotland. My mum and dad, in their 70s, are somewhat open to also making the move with us - we are close emotionally and geographically and they wouldn't want to be away from my daughter.

The problem is this. I have lived within the same 10 miles for the majority of my nearly 40 years of existence (aside from uni, and living in Europe 3 times briefly). We have good friends here, it's a nice area, we have a lovely home. A nice primary school round the corner etc. Good neighbours. Parents round the corner. We both are happy in our work and can work remotely. Nothing is technically 'wrong' aside from how hot the summers are becoming. For example, there were loads of local things I didn't go to/do this summer because it was too hot.

I feel sick at the thought of leaving everything and jumping into the unknown. But part of me doesn't want to live and die within the same 10 miles anyway. I feel like I've exhausted almost everything here. I can't think of anywhere new to go any more and I find that utterly depressing.

My partner and I have always loved Scotland. Always. The nature and the space, the friendly people. So it's not an idea plucked out of thin air. It's been something that I've wondered about on/off for years.

Is it normal to feel so sick at the prospect of making such a big move? If I stay here will I regret not having tried it? Do you think the weather (and writing off 3 months each summer) is reason enough to do this? I can't settle on one idea. Sometimes I just think it's easier to do nothing but everything suggests that hot summers are going to be our new 'normal'.