What made you decide it was time to seek an autism assessment for your child? £200 voucher to be won

[EllieSmumsnet]

Wondering whether to seek an autism assessment for your child can feel like a huge decision. For some parents, it's a gradual realisation as little things start to add up. For others, it's one particular moment that makes them think, "Maybe it's time to find out more."

If you've been through this, we'd love to hear about your experience. What made you decide to seek an assessment? Was there a specific incident, a conversation with school, or had you been noticing signs for a while? And looking back, do you feel it was the right time?

Share your story below by 26/08/2026 to be entered into a prize draw to win a £200 VEX voucher for a store of your choice. Your experience could help reassure other parents who are wondering whether to take that first step. (T&Cs)

It was when my first DS started school, he was a lovely boy, but a real struggle for the staff to deal with, personal space was an issue, anyone who took his crayons or toy would feel is annoyance, he spend more time in time out than in the classroom. I pushed and pushed to get an assessment, 18 months later finally got a multi-disciplinary diagnosis. The education system throughout the years failed him totally.

it was always on my mental agenda as my entire family has a ND diagnosis so it would be strange if the child didnt!

I put in the request in year 1 but the assessment didn't happen until year 5. By then it was pretty obvious to me. In isolation it was little things, which added up to DC acting much younger than their peers.

For some reason, it's taboo in our culture to even suggest somebody has autism; family get so defensive and in the end act insulted that you even suggest anybody in the family has autism.

However, I noticed one of my little cousins was very delayed in speech and exhibiting other signs such as not wanting contact, preferring to be on his own amongst others. My aunt was also aware of these but it was only after it was mentioned to her by myself and my sisters, that she pushed to get an assessment. I have to say that it's not been a speedy or easy process.

If anyone else is getting fobbed off by the school or GP, don't take no for an answer. Don't let them think it's something small, as in the end it's all to benefit your child and their learning.

My nephew is autistic and honestly looking back, I don't think it was the right time at all when he finally had his assessment. I feel like my brother didn't take autism seriously enough and that in turn delayed everything. I definitely feel as if he should have been assessed much earlier than he actually was.

Not diagnosed until 16 - when he started to struggle with his levels and socially.

It was after the 3rd conversation that week with DS2’s nursery teacher about his behaviour. We had been wondering about autism for a while but well meaning family and friends kept saying “he’s young, he’ll grow out of it”, even thewho had seen his behaviour first hand dismissed us. That day the nursery teacher asked for a chat at home time I thought it was another talk about him not listening, following his own agenda, struggling with noise etc, but when she asked if we’d had any thoughts about autism I was so relieved. It was a real “thank god you see it too!” moment. She helped us get him referred for assessment and he was diagnosed age 5. It was absolutely the right time to get his diagnosis for us - he started school already on the referral pathway and although it’s been a bumpy ride so far, we’ve had the confidence to tell school what support he needs, and have been largely understood by staff.

They had been excluded from a club for some behaviour related to sensory issues. But the club leader would make no adjustments and wouldnt accept the girl clearly had sen. Anxious to join in, perfectionist, slow processing, sensory issues, no friends. I went into school meeting saying re adhd but ed psych was suggestive of autism. But she has both

We'd thought for several years that he was autistic but sought a diagnosis because family & friends were struggling to understand his needs and some other children were being unkind and calling him weird and criticising him because of his eating difficulties. Ironically, once we had the formal diagnosis quite a number of both family & friends stopped being supportive and claimed that his problems were all due to bad parenting. Several people completely disbelieved the diagnosis, with some claiming I had made it up, and the stress of that and its consequences ended up pushing him into a multi-year burnout.

It was definitely worth doing though as it helped my husband get on board with parenting him the right way and it really helped him to understand himself.

Had been told she was "just quirky" by a health visitor after sharing a video of stimming at 3 years old. Didn't really spend too much time thinking about it until she was in Y2, though looking back there were so many signs. I very clearly remember the day I decided to pursue a diagnosis, when watching her help out at her little sister's football club. She was prancing about and, just looking at her as a completely impartial observer, it seemed so very obvious she was autistic. I then went home and read up on it, and was horrified to read about the increased likelihood of self-harm and substance abuse in undiagnosed teenage girls. Booked her into the GP a few days later - it literally took a couple of videos and a 10-minute chat for the GP to refer her, and the school completely supported us. Having read the teacher's statement, I was astonished they hadn't already approached me about having her investigated, despite the fact she was already in a support group to help establish friendships. Now in Y5, and still waiting for her first contact with the MDT.

She was nearing year 6, high school was looming and she was getting further and further apart from her peers in terms of social and emotional maturity. And she had started to notice it. She is at least now going to start high school with the diagnosis in place and a bit of understanding about why she's different.

We were seeking an ADHD assessment and she was having therapy through CAMHS for anxiety. It was her therapist that recommended we assess for autism. I knew there were traits but when I properly thought about it there were a lot more traits that I was ignoring. We are still awaiting assessment for both

I had been in denial for a long time. It was actually at parents evening when DCs reception class teacher gently pointed out all her observations and how DC was different to the other children in the class. She didn’t say the word autism but I went home and mulled it all over and realised it was time to start the assessment process.

DS2 was coping fine at school and home.
His older brother has ADHD and autistic traits and DS2 was not like him.
He has always been quirky and teachers described him as an ‘old soul’. They also used to say there was no point asking him to do something he didn’t want to do, even in nursery.
I was beginning to think there was something not quite right but DH didn’t agree.
Then COVID hit and he really couldn’t cope with the lack of routine. He was very distressed and was talking about self harm. I spoke to the GP who I knew well and he referred to CAMHS. Two years later he was diagnosed in his last year of primary school.

DGC has always been quirky and unusual. School denied, denied, denied there was something wrong, but he had so many problems. Every single day I was called aside about something he'd done. We're very strict with him but nothing we did helped. He's not safe on his own. Can't be trusted to wash himself or be near a road safely. He hurt his friends and classmates. On the worst occasion, one of the parents confronted me, DGC and the class teacher in the playground. The head had to intervene.

It got to the point where he would have what we thought were tantrums, but which we've now learned are meltdowns before school (at the age of 4). Screaming. Fighting. Clinging on to the door frame. All in attempts to not go. The teacher would have to peel him off me at the gate and he'd disappear through the doors crying.

At school he would wet himself, pooed himself (in Y1 - so at the age of 5/6) but school supposedly didn't notice. He couldn't write. Couldn't sit in his chair. His nails were bitten to shreds with blood and scabs.

At every parent teacher meeting we'd ask about an assessment but were always reassured that he was normal, just slow developing.

School wouldn't refer him for assessment. CAMHS put us on a waiting list (3 1/2 years in now). GP wouldn't refer him for assessment. So in the end, I joined a disability support group for parents. Someone gave me a contact for a private assessor (an NHS consultant working privately). And he got a very obvious, clear, firm diagnosis. This very senior NHS doctor said he was one of the most obvious cases she'd ever seen.

And still school are doing very little. We've pushed them into doing an EHCP application but given that they insist there is nothing wrong with him, I can't imagine the application was very strong.

We knew something was “wrong” but we were repeatedly told that we were imagining it by professionals. We really wanted to believe that he was “ all boy” but it was parenting his sibling that made us really push for a diagnosis. All children are different but it rapidly became obvious how rigid his thinking was and how hard we worked to manage it.