Chemo & the school run?

[itchyhand]

In October I’ll start 3x EC and 9x Paclitaxel taking me through to February. The thing I’m most concerned about at the moment is - will I be able to do the school run? I know nobody knows how I’ll personally react to chemo and everyone keeps saying plan for not being able to do it which I will but can you tell me if you had primary ages kids, too young to be allowed to walk home, did you manage the school run?

I’m 1.5 miles from school, flat apart from going up and over a railway bridge.

I can park 0.4 miles from school, will still need to go up and over the bridge.

I could drive all the way and battle with the Range Rovers.

In all options I’ll need to stand in the school yard and have DD handed over to me, she wouldn’t be allowed to walk herself to and from the car or home.

Sorry I have no experience and sorry your going through this.

is it possible you can pull up outside of school office/reception area and the kids can come out to the car?
school office staff would see you/allow you through the gate into staff car park or however the school is set up?

Forgot to add, I’m sure the school would be more than happy to do this given your circumstances

Talk to the school and to any school mum/dad friends you might have. You will be surprised at how much people want to help and how happy they are to have a concrete

Speak to the school.

You should be covered by reasonable adjustments that you can drive straight into the schools car park (even if 5 mins after school starts to avoid the traffic) and collect from car park.

Op, you should be allowed to park right outside the school. My dd has been given an exemption to the school zone road thing, and then we have her blue badge for such a thing

Also, as above, just tell the school and they will help you get sorted.

Wishing you the very best ❤️

this.

my partner (on a different chemo protocol) managed drop-offs for 4 cycles even if he then just went back to bed afterwards. He didnt manage it on cycle 5 or 6.

Is there a neighbour or friend who could help? My experience is that DP would not have been able to do the school run for a month or so when having chemo.
Things may have got better though as this was 15 years ago.
Good luck, and do ask for help from people you trust.

Where is Dad in this scenario? Are there any grandparents to help?

i only managed 3 rounds of docetaxol before stopping and it was manageable but don’t know how I would have coped with more…..

I had chemo for breast cancer a few years ago when my daughter was in reception. The school were happy for me to take her in a few minutes late so I could park right outside and I then handed her over in reception and they accompanied her to her classroom, which also meant I managed to avoid mingling with other parents and children which was a worry for me. Thinking of you and hope your treatment goes well

I work in a school and in similar situations a parent has been given permission to park in the staff car park and the child is brought out to them. Child would go to office instead of out ti playground for dismissal at the end of the day and parent would phone office when they arrive and staff would take out to hand over.

I will plan for not being able to do it I just wanted to know if it might possibly be doable because I’d like to be able to do it. I’ll enjoy it and it’ll give me a boost each day.

Personally I couldn't have managed it. We were very lucky and DH was given 6 months off work so he took over all childcare, plus my mum came to stay sometimes.

As others have said, you may find you can manage it at first but maybe not after later treatments when the fatigue really kicks in. Or maybe you'll feel up to it on some days but not others - my chemo was a 3 week cycle and I was wiped out for the first 2 weeks, then ok for the third one.

Getting out & about if possible will definitely be good for you if you're up to it, just keep in mind the need to avoid infection (although with children in school that's inevitable anyway)

I have had every single side affect going and I’ve had palci and EC. I have very young kids and so whilst ive had an enormous amount of help, i still just had to get on with things. I don’t mean to say that in a negative way; what I’m trying to say is you find the strength to do things and you will surprise yourself!

I agree with OP regarding speaking to the school for reasonable adjustments, eg parking in staff car park. I found I was always very very short of breath just walking up the stairs, so walking a great deal every day for drop off and pick up might be too much for you;

good luck, happy to answer any questions if you need help, I’m just coming towards the end of my treatment this year.

Hi @itchyhand
I would have a back up plan.

You're right, getting out does help. But you need to think if you are safe to drive.
I dont drive and don't have young children but I probably could have managed school runs the first few weeks but not as the cumulative effects of chemo set in.
You might also find that you fall into a fairly predictable pattern
I had my chemo on Weds, Thurs and Friday were reasonably good days for me because of the steroid boost, weekend were usually a write off, by Monday I was on the up again.
Are you having weekly chemo or breaks in between? If you have a week in between then you may be ok in that week.

Good luck !

Hi, so sorry you’re going through this. Many years ago I somehow managed the school runs while on chemo. I can’t remember how tbh but like you I wanted to do it and as you say it boosted me and forced me out into the world .You won’t feel awful every day ,the first week after EC was bad for me so perhaps see if someone can help then but after that week I managed more or less ok. ptaxol is usually every week and fairly manageable . Make sure you get lots of rest while the kids are in school . Good luck and best wishes

Sorry you're going through this 😔 You will feel better at some points during your chemo cycles and you'll be fine to do the school run. Other days you may really struggle. I had a couple of other school mums I could ask to help me out if I was feeling particularly bad. I also had loads of friends, acquaintances offering to help me. It makes people feel good to help - they can at least do something practical while they can't make the terrible stuff go away for you. Is there a parents WhatsApp group you could ask?

Well firstly most schools won’t let kids walk home alone until some point in year 6 but if yours are year 5/year 6 you may be able to write a letter authorising school to let them out on your own.

on the way in obviously school cannot stop them walking in on their own (if old enough).

if not old enough then - anyone else coming in from your direction? Walking bus? Neighbours who would walk with them?

1.5 miles is a fair way.

do speak yo school though as they can help with stuff like this - staff car park is the obvious one. Is there a school bus?

if you have to wait in the playground I’d personally recommend a wheelchair so at least you are sitting down.

So sorry. Had to do this on some horribly grim meds. I should have asked for a parking spot. What saved me was going 15 mins early to bag a close spot. Can always read a bit in the car to DC if you get there too early.

I managed to take my 4 children to primary school when I was able to, I had a good support network of friends, family and neighbours to help me out in the rough days. But in that year I did manage to attend school plays, Christmas events and sports day once the rough spells were over and I also kept my hair by going on the cold cap as didn’t want my children to feel embarrassed. It was such a tough time looking back but I got through it and I know you will too - on the plus side it made me feel more optimistic after it all finished and I am nearly 10 years clear now. Wishing you the best of luck and sending you a big non-Mums-netty hug x

I ‘ve had chemo for breast cancer and there are some days I could have and some I couldn’t. I’ve spoke to other people and some people could have done it every day and others would have struggled, it is very personal. Speak to the school and ask how they can help.
There is no plan for chemo you just have to ride it out - you may well be fine.

I had the same chemo that you’ll be having and actually felt pretty good so it’s not necessarily the case that you won’t be able to do the school run, although you won’t know until you’re there. My kids were a bit older so I didn’t need to do it but I was up and about every day and used to go for a walk very often. I was lucky that I didn’t get many side effects but everyone is different. Good luck to you from someone 5 years down the line x

I haven’t been on those meds specifically, but I’ve had nearly 2 years of treatment (2 different drug regimens) and I’ve never NOT been able to do the school run. Some days I haven’t because I was tired and decided to rest and dh could just as easily do it, but I absolutely could have done it if I needed to.

The only thing that would have been difficult would have been picking up from evening activities. My first round of treatment gave me a fever and chills pretty much every night and there would have been no way I could have gone to collect dc from sports practice at 9pm some nights. I was in bed by 8:30/9. In an emergency, I could have dragged myself out in the car, but regularly, no. Thankfully, Dh was around to do those.