Those who have paid for private education or taught in a private school… advise me please!

[Infefgg]

Do you think it’s worth it? I actually went to private school and it’s all I’ve known so I am biased I suppose as I loved school. But I’ve never been a parent paying for it and I’m interested in hearing from people who have done that or are doing it, particularly with the VAT increase.

Just to add I don’t care about academics, that’s not at all why I am considering it. Whilst I want ds to do well and work hard, I know that can happen at state or private. What I’m keen to know is whether the experience of school is better? Are the kids happier? Do they have a nicer day to day life? Do the smaller classes really have a positive effect?

For context spare income is around 2.5k a month (we also have 50k so far saved) so we are not mega wealthy by any stretch but given it is such an expense, do you feel it’s worth it?

It’s too open a question.

many parents who move to private education do so because they aren’t happy with state education (their child is bullied/gifted and not being stretched/is in a class of 40 etc etc).

private schools vary massively. So do state schools.

personally I’m of the opinion that if your child is happy and doing ok academically in state it’s a lot easier to supplement with tutors/extra curricular etc.

I attended state comp schools, have taught in state comps and grammars, both of my kids attend selective private schools.

Reasons for choice: don’t want to see educational opportunities of my kids harmed the way I have seen happen in state schools where excessive inclusion means that too many kids have their futures blighted by a disruptive minority; want school to be a happy experience where my children respect their teachers and love the feeling of Sunday evenings rather than dreading it; do not want lectures on anti racism and transgender rights not the focus to be on academic knowledge.

For context the school we are considering is circa 30k a year

@Btc76 that’s the main thing I am concerned about in state - the disruption. I know the teaching can be just as good or better. But it just seems such a risk when most people I know who have kids in state say much of the time it it behaviour management

It's way too general a question. What are your DC like, what are your local schools like, etc etc.

For what it's worth I was state comp educated. I taught in private for a decade then grammar.

If my kids don't get into grammar then we will look at private. Not great stage schools round ours.

I’ve taught in private, state grammar and now a rough (but improving) comp. I’d pick state grammar or an excellent comp over private and save the money for house deposits. However, I’d pick a good independent over a medium comp. Be careful tho - lots of small independents are on dodgy financial footing, even though they’re all pretending they’re fine. Be aware that many parents in independents supplement the education with paid tutors and sports coaching too, so don’t take headline results as evidence of superior teaching. The only reason to pay (imo) is to avoid disruption in lessons. Even then it’s likely to be better to buy a house in the catchment for a better school because the money is (mostly, hopefully!) still there if you sell at a later date.

I have taught in both, up to year 6 so can’t really speak to secondary.

If it is for a child of primary age I would say go private if your only state option is the massive 3/4 form entry trust school locally. Even if they are ‘outstanding’. If you have a small 1 form entry (rated ‘good’ or above), especially if it is local authority maintained, definitely send them there and save your money for going private at secondary.

People choose primaries because of SAT’s results or ‘outstanding’ ofsted’s. Both of these are entirely meaningless in the long run.

only you can decide this

I have 2 DC at private school, one going into Y13 and one into Y10. We’re very happy with our decision because we live in a pretty rough part of SE London and the state schools are poor. Both DC are sporty and both on sports scholarships which has helped a lot with fees. Their school is a happy place, I’m not aware of any bullying, they have small classes and specialist teachers (including when they were in the Junior School). We obviously hope they do well academically (and DS got excellent GCSE results), but the most important aspect for us is that they enjoy going to school.

It’s such an individual choice though isn’t it. If we had great state schools they’d have gone there, but we don’t. I went to private, DH went to state school in the 70’s in Somerset and was quite anti sending them private - until he went to look at our local state schools and realised his rural state school in the 70’s was very different to a SE London state school these days.

Disruption is very school specific. There are supposedly good schools where disruption is tolerated and others where the kids actually meet high expectations. I’d ask specific questions to the parents of kids in the local state: When was the last time another child was removed from your child’s lesson? (I’d expect this to be rare but not zero). How much homework does your child get? (I’d expect weekly for each subject). Do the children all bring books home each day? (I’d avoid a school which can’t trust its pupils to take them home and bring them back in).

we sent our children for a number of reasons, despite being in the catchment for the best state school in the borough.

1. The state school was very academic. My very academic child needed broadening out and challenge. The private school offered lots of extracurricular opportunities and a broader curriculum. I was happy for him to drop a grade or two to benefit from this, and that is exactly what happened. But he is interesting and engaging which will get him further in life than grades.
2. diversity. The private school is far more diverse.
3. Although, inclusive, the state school didn’t have funds to give my child what he needed, as quite rightly (I sit in the board),it placed resources on ensuring those who might not get a 4 or 5 did so whereas mine needed stretch and speaking skills.
4. Also , crudely, because we can afford it, as it is coming out of a trust fund that we have set up for them. It’s a bit like flying business, you have a better journey.

Having taught in both, it truly depends on the school. There's no one-size-fits-all answer.

That being said, I will be sending my children to a state school.

I recently made this decision for dd going to secondary. I didn’t go for private in the end, for me 30k was too much for the nice extras because academics are very important to me & dd got a place at a great state which sets early on & she is in the top sets.

This frees up money for house deposits, uni etc as we have other dc so can’t afford it all.

Absolutely agree with this.

Adding to the discussion as others have it’s a postcode lottery.

I genuinely, one hundred percent believe my children could not have a better primary education (Scotland) than they do now in a mid level rural cluster school from main town. 60 pupils.

High school a different matter, I would take a guess and say two private, two home and flexi. So many external factors to consider.

It depends on your local state schools. All three of my DC go to our local comprehensive- there is disruption but they are bright and work hard and have support from home. They have all absolutely loved school, had loads of opportunities there and the older two came out with mostly 9’s and a couple of 8’s in their GCSE’s. If the local state school is ok and your kids are bright and motivated they may well enjoy any school and do well. So go have a look round a few schools and talk to parents who value the same things as you. There may well be many parents like you with kids like yours at your local state school. They’re not all oiks!

@Specialagentblond I’m surprised that the best state in a London borough wasn’t very diverse. Ime the best states here are very diverse.

We live in a nice affluent area, so there aren't many of the behavioural issues you might see in rougher areas. However, due to insufficient funding and provision for children with SEND, there are an awful lot of children with unmet needs who cause significant disruption.

We had to move to private to avoid this as DC just couldn't cope with a class of 30 which was hugely dominated by 4 or 5 children with significant needs who really need specialist provision or 1 to 1s, resulting in things like class evacuations (which the school didn't disclose to parents). How on earth teacher are meant to educate the majority whilst keeping children with such high needs regulated and safe is beyond me.

I really wanted my DC at state, but can't in good conscience make them go to a school they hate when I can afford private.

Well I've attended both private and state schools.

If I had the money I'd definitely have put 2 of my 3 kids in them.

Depends what sort of private, and what you want for your kids.
I went to a very selective private day school on a bursary . I liked it and did well, but I only went on the offchance.

i have friends whose children went to wildly expensive and privileged public schools, their DCs dads wanted the networking and status

2 of those boys have serious Ket habits and no concept of reality, all repeating uni years.

my boys, outstanding state, 2 with firsts and taking masters, all 3 have always worked as well as study

i know which outcome I prefer

We've been private all the way through education and I dont regret it one bit even if the alternative was them having a very hefty housing deposit in lieu of fees. Ultimately my children would not have thrived in state. They would get sidelined by teachers and swayed by other kids so it was absolutely the right choice for us and they are both doing moderately well as well as being happy and confident. Many of our friends have children that have done really well in state secondary and if I had one of them I wouldn't have worried and the house deposit would have been the better option.

For my one DD, yes, absolutely. She’s starting secondary next week. All independent primaries will be different, though, with different priorities and objectives. I couldn’t have asked for more from hers — she had the most incredible experience. Her classes weren’t actually that small (23), but I could tell from all the communication that the teachers really knew her.

I think it helped that it was Catholic, to be honest. Even though we aren’t Catholic, a lot of the teaching really resonated with her (and me!). I think the basic values of Jesus — not necessarily the same thing as Catholic values — are pretty good ones.

The main thing, though, was being with other children who were there to learn, and whose parents were invested in their education. That made a huge difference. And then all the extra-curriculars, the discos, the school trips... all of it, really. It was just such a lovely experience for her, and I’m so glad she had it.

What does nicer or better mean? You have norhing to compare it with. If you think your child will benefit then do it.

Dont think there are classes of 40!!

Depends on your kid and your area. I work in a fantastic secondary state school, it's as close as you can get to private school imo. So I usually don't see the point of people sending their kids to private schools near us. If your local secondary schools are pants then yeah if you can afford it, do it.

I’ve worked in both state and private education, and in my experience, it very much depends on the individual child and their needs. I wouldn’t automatically assume that private education is better. In fact, I’ve found some state schools where the SEN provision is considerably better than what is offered in private schools.