Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

I've posted a photo but I assume it's awaiting review...

It would certainly be unreasonable of you to block your neighbour's view. I would be surprised if yoyr local planning regs allow you to put a fence directly outside a neighbour's window. Can't you talk and garden at the same time?

That whole layout is horrific! I think anything you put on the fence will affect her light.

Seems a tad harsh if it's your first option.
Have you tried actually saying to her that you don't want to chat?

Different situation, but our neighbours built their garage up to first floor height about that distance from our window and I have been enraged by it every day for two years and counting.

If you are putting a barrier to their light and view that close to their window, assume they will be annoyed. They can’t actually stop you but it’s likely they’ll mind. You could try to soften the blow by making whatever you plant on the trellis entirely beautiful.

Depends what kind of neighbours they are whether they’ll water your plants with saltwater…

What about a canopy type of thing a bit further into your garden than the fence that you can angle so it blocks her?

Could you put some of those hookable baskets of flowers on? Then at least she’d get something nice to look at and will give you a little bit more privacy? But, honestly I think you don’t really have much choice but to put up with it. It sounds like she’s lonely. I think you will have to just start keeping busy while she chats and maybe she will start taking the hint and shortening her chats. You can’t make your fence taller, her window will be blocked and that will really sour relations with her.

It's an unusual set-up. A property you'd buy knowing there wouldn't be much privacy, say?

ls that her main access to her flat, or is there another way in for her? Does she have her own garden?

If you're permitted to add to the height of the fence then do so.

I wouldn't block her window but can you create a private area further down the garden so she can't see you if you're sitting in the garden?

When you are tidying the garden, I would have a little chat then say "ok Doris, better get on with this weeding".

Her only view is into my garden. That's what I want to block, not her light, that's why I was thinking trellis, which allows light through, but would also give me a feeling of privacy. The thing is, I don't want to talk and garden at the same, I specifically bought a flat with a private garden so I could enjoy some quiet time outside. Last time I was out there, I was sanding something down, she kept talking at me and I had to keep switching the sander off to hear what she was saying, as I felt rude just ignoring her. Another time, I was playing a board game with DC, abd I had to chat with her when all I wanted to do was be completely present with my DC. I feel like I'm constantly being watched when I'm outside, which I am, she often stands watching me from her bedroom window.

Perhaps I am being unreasonable, it's just that it's constant and so I'm at the end of my tether with her thinking that every time I'm out in my garden is an opportunity to stand there chatting for ages.

You must have known when you bought the flat that the garden was never going to be private, I mean her window is literally right there!

I agree it's horrific. I want to block her view but not her light, all I want is a little privacy.

I haven't. I would feel awfully rude. How would I even word that? 'Sorry, I don't want to talk to you'?

I absolutely get why you want to do this because I too have had a lonely, elderly neighbour who would behave similarly.

It looks like quite a narrow walkway between your fence and the side of the building (not sure if photo is skewing the dimensions?) so any trellis you add may well block light and make the neighbour feel even more isolated. I'd be careful of what you grow up it if you do go ahead, because plants grow through and they may cause her a nuisance when she walks past (my mum is elderly and bleeds at the slightest touch these days). I would look for other ideas if possible.

In the meantime, set some boundaries. Dont feel you need to stop what you're doing every time she comes out. Say "can't stop to chat right now Jean, I have to get on with weeding/mowing/planting/etc, and carry on with your task".

That may actually work. Although it would still block her view into my garden, which she likes to have. I got a trampoline for the DC and she made her displeasure about that quite clear, despite it not being near her window and my DC barely bothering with it.

Really unreasonable of you imo. Is she chatting through her window then?

I’d exchange a few pleasantries, say that you need to get on and stick your headphones in. Be kind, but build boundaries.

Put on some really obvious headphones you don’t need to even have them turned on but then just face away from her and say you didn’t hear her

I knew that she would have a view into my garden, and a view I don't mind, what I didn't know is that she'd be constantly out, at me!

Chatting both through her window and coming out.

I wouldn't add a trellis but would buy some bamboo in pots or other shrubs that are currently lower than the existing fence but that will grow slightly and which you can keep trimmed to just above head height. That won't really block her light and will happen too slowly for her to be able to comment on

You could plant some nice shrubs that grow quickly there, make a lovely high border. You could trim them occasionally but it's harder to complain about beautiful, fragrant flowers blocking your view than a wooden fence.

Probably not a good idea to block the view out her window. I don't think anyone would like that!

Anyway, I'd get creative. I am not sure of the layout, but it looks to me like your garden is perpendicular to her little terrace/window. So I think I'd block off a section of the garden up to her window from your back/patio door. Put a trellis up on the RHS up to her window and you will at least have a small section of your garden where you can sit in peace.

I'd stick on headphones when I'm out, and explain that you need them as your hearing is not that great right now or some other bullshit. Have the occasional chat but limit it.

But maybe I've got the layout all wrong. 😊

We had a neighbour like this, every time I went in the garden she’d be out, made me reluctant to go outside.
We moved (for other reasons!). I’d get some headphones and tell her you’re on a work call…can’t chat.

No, I'd say "sorry I'm busy at the moment" then turn back and get on with what I was doing. Then if she carries on, ignore. If you keep chatting to her, she'll think it's fine and carry on.

Trellis could be a good option, because as you say it will not block her light. However she will still be able to see you so it won't necessarily stop her talking.

I really can't see any other option but to tell her that you want privacy in your garden and would prefer not to be interrupted. She will obviously be offended but what option do you have? I doubt you could put anything there which would stop her knowing you are in your garden. She could hear you talking or working or might simply come out to see whether you are out there or not. It doesn't seem as though she has anything else to do.