AIBU to find my ex cancelling childcare for his wife’s travel strange

[wontTravelbyherself]

I have 2 dc with my ex (8 and 10) he usually has them 3 days a week and every half term, 2 weeks of the summer holidays and we alternate Xmas. Works well.

His wife has recently got a new job and initially it involves a lot of travel apparently. She won’t travel alone.
He has now informed me that there are 3 weekends he can’t do between now and Xmas plus he can’t have the dc during October half term and there are a couple of other days too that he can’t do, no option to move days as he has to work and is self employed so when he’s travelling with her he’s just not working.

AIBU to think this is strange ? Why can’t she travel alone , apparently she doesn’t feel safe and he wants to support her but she isn’t going to any dangerous countries !!!

Very odd. Will he pay financially to make up for the extra costs you will incur?

It’s 3 weekends, a couple of midweek days and the whole of October half term (he was meant to have them for 10 days )

Spunds a bit bizarre that an adult is that insecure they can’t travel for work alone. What job does she do that she travels for work over the weekends?

why doesn’t your ex realise that his children should be his priority and he can’t pick and choose which dates he can and can’t see fhem,

I did ?

Its not strange, its pathetic and crap parenting but ultimately theres not a lot you can do unless he can have them at other times to make up the difference. Its not childcare, its parenting. Its not just about the practicalities of an adult needing to be present but him choosing to prioritise his role as a parent over his role as a husband. And he's not.

Can you tell him that isn't how it works and it's up to him to sort out who looks, after his children while he can't as you won't be able to.

There’s no issue with money I’m sure if I asked he would recalculate maintenance and pay more that’s never been a problem it’s just continuity is going to be really messed up . The dc love seeing him and they will be disappointed and upset. It’s hard for childcare but I have time to sort it.
I just feel like dc should come first and I can’t see why she is refusing to
travel alone ?

I think it's very strange yes

If someone can't travel to a job, then they shouldn't have taken that job

Why has his wife taken a job that prioritizes her not his time with his young children? I feel for them.

I find it strange that someone who doesn’t travel alone takes a job involving travel. It isn’t 1826.

That's a huge % of the time he's supposed to have them! I'd actually work out what it is and point it out to him. How many days is he supposed to have between now and Xmas holidays and how many is he cancelling.

I'd make him find the childcare and then he can decide if he wants to bop about with wife or see his kids.

Most likely she gets decent hotels and they want the free city breaks.

It’s crap parenting, I’d personally say to him fine about the weekends but he needs to fund holiday care for half term in full

It’s always been good, we co parent well and get on well. I think that why I’m so surprised at this situation?

I know his wife has some anxiety but if that’s the reason I didn’t realise it was that bad to not be able to travel alone ? But then why take a job that requires travel ?

This.

I'd assume her work are paying so he's getting some child free mini breaks.

And find it! And book it.

He needs to be sorting childcare first off. It's not your job. Yes a day or two fine but he's basically not going to see the children very much for the next 2 months so it's on him to sort the half term.

What a shit dad.

I’d be deeply unimpressed by them as a couple making a decision which means he can’t see his children as much.

However as small part of me wonders if “she won’t travel alone” actually means “he won’t let her travel alone”…

This, but will her work approve his staying with her? What far flung places are they going? Is it she’d have to drive and won’t?