What’s your best online safety tip? Share it for the chance to win a £200 Tesco eGift Card

[CeriMumsnet]

Keeping children safe online can feel like a constant battle against big tech firms. Just when you think you’ve got it all sorted, there’s a new app, game or group chat to contend with.

So what has actually worked for you and your family?

Perhaps you’ve found a useful parental-control tool, introduced a family rule that miraculously avoids arguments, or discovered a good way to get your child talking about what they’re doing online. Maybe there’s something you learned the hard way that other parents would benefit from knowing.

We’re working with Tesco Mobile to help equip parents with the tools they need to approach online safety conversations with their children.

Everyone who posts on the thread below by 5 September for your chance to win a £200 Tesco eGift Cards. (T&Cs)

And if you don’t have an answer but do have a question, post that too. What aspect of keeping your children safe online are you struggling with at the moment? Chances are, another Mumsnet user has been there, done that.

Model being safe online -discuss what you have put in place on.your own devices to ensure family safety. Have regular conversations so that online safety becomes an accessible topic, and kids understand the language needed to communicate if any issues arise.
We have a 'living room rule' so gaming/tech to be played in family space so we can help navigate any issues together.

Keep up to date with what ever tech your kids use. Don't fall in to the trap of 'its all above me! I don't understand how it works!' .
You need to keep uptodate to keep them safe and understand what the threats are

I’ve just been entirely upfront with my year 4 child about the horrors of the internet. Completely transparent about what can happen. They also know when they eventually get a phone, that it will be locked down to the max and that I will be spot checking it regularly.

In our house we take a multifaceted approach to try and keep them safe. Rather than abstain we want to teach them to use the internet and devices safely. We apply a few rules:

1. We use the family link app on the children’s telephones so we have to approve all apps before they’re downloaded. We also have screen time so it shuts their phones off.
2. We have an open door policy so when devices are on in the children’s bedrooms we can see what they’re doing with an agreement we can check their internet history at any time.
3. Most importantly, we have regular communication about the dangers of being online and strangers who can infiltrate online games which are targeted at children and to not use the chat rooms etc.
4. Finally, we have a rule of no judgement. If they’re unsure about something or someone or they’ve clicked something they then realise they perhaps shouldn’t have, they need to tell us in the first instance so we can “safety check”.

Our children are between the ages of 12-19 and it’s worked so far all these years 🤞

The thing that has worked best is open communication. I've never made the kids feel like they can't come to me with anything. I know everything that goes on, not because I snoop, but because the kids let me know themselves. We talk about the dangers happening in the world and how safety, including online safety, is so important.

If it sounds too good to be true - it is!
Money isn't spent online without adult approval.
Apps are limited.
We talk about online safety using hypothetical examples.

I'm struggling with keeping up with different games that have a chat function and I'm always wary about predators out there. How do you deal with that without making the kids feel like you're invading their privacy?

Starting from a young age worked for me and having discussions about being open so in the end the kids would show me what they were doing as opposed to hiding it or me asking. There were times when they'd be talking to the opposite gender and wouldn't be as forthcoming, but I always felt as if they were safe. In the end, I only had to look at what they were doing a few times.

That sounds great but I think you need to be able to see what they're doing online, you can't just assume they'll tell you if there is a problem. To them it might not be a problem. but it's just because they're not mature enough to identify it.

Being safe by not allowing them on line. All my 3 dc never had a smart phone until they went to college. They had a phone each from Asda, that did the minimum. They each had a lap top to do homework. They would be seated around the desk in the study, do their homework, computers off until they had homework again
I cannot understand why parents moan about their kids on line all the time and what they can see, when the parents provide the tools to do so. My dc are all in their 20's now and tell me they were never bothered by it, as many of their friends were treated the same. As a parent, it's all down to you

For us, the BT Hub has been really useful. I use the parental controls to restrict unsuitable content for under-13s and set different devices to disconnect from the internet at different times, with no internet access after 8pm. It’s a simple way to set boundaries without constant arguments, while still giving the children some freedom online. It has worked really well for managing screen time and keeping bedtime consistent.

Setting boundaries and using whatever gadget out in the open so that I can keep an eye on it all. They've not been bothered by it so far and game time is always restricted, so they're only allowed to use it twice a week.

It probably didn't come across clearly in my OP, but I do still check what they're doing. It's just most of the time I don't need to, because they themselves come to me to show me. Not in a 'here's proof of what I'm doing', but in a more 'look at this, isn't this interesting', so it's more engaging. So whenever I do look, it doesn't come across as 'snooping'.

The one thing I want to know is how do you go about all this with teenagers without causing arguments? Like say if you haven't done anything when they were younger, maybe a little bit of of stranger danger, but nothing really about online danger, how would people go about introducing all of that now without being overbearing?

Scaring the shit out of them about it, like we used to get scared with 'stranger danger', and when scaring them, showing them articles from respected broadsheet papers, online - how people got scammed, bullied to suicide, etc.etc.

I'm always worried about children having a bank card linked to a game, so they can buy things as they play. This can end up with a big bill for the card holder.
How do people navigate this?

For our 10-year-old, online access is mainly for schoolwork, with parental controls on, age-appropriate content restrictions and no unsupervised social media. We also keep devices in shared family spaces and regularly chat about what they're seeing online.

We use Qustodio monitoring app and it's been really helpful. Much better than Google Family Link which is what we used before.

Open communication, close supervision, or just really limiting their use is the safest way to avoid any danger of being online.

Setting an example and being open about your own safety online so they see it's normal. I also have parental controls set up and explain what they are and why then discuss as and when controls are removed/relaxed.
Also try to keep up to date with tech/apps so that you can understand what teenagers are using.

Honestly just limiting access is the only thing that seems to work for us. My two are still young so they only go online to play games but I’m worried about when it’s time for their first phone

Explain to your child the importance about not sharing any personal details online: name, address, location, age, etc.

Adapt house rules to kid's ages. They try to get around the safety restrictions if too strict.

The best tip I think is, taking time out of busy/intense conversations and sleeping on responding before the next day. I know they can come to us with anything and we will help them find a way through it. So making room for conversations about what they've seen on others phones or heard about.

The easiest safety measure is dumb phones with no camera/ ability to show photos. My daughter hasn't got involved in online bullying/ being sent or sending inappropriate images because she can't. Its a fail safe. The risks of smart phone use are really high, but somehow we are encouraged by companies and society that the risk of bullying for not having one/ peer pressure is more important.

This might not work for everyone but we have put the devices in the living room. Our living room is quite long (consists of 3 rooms with the walls knocked through) and we have a tv for watching shows, a tv for the ps5 and a space for laptop/ pc. Sometimes I need to remind my 13 yr old that’s he’s getting loud as hes wearing a headset. This set up lets us monitor what times they are on and ps5 is connected to the tv so we can see what he’s playing. It’s worked for my older son and daughter who are 19 and 20 now and still use their laptops in the living room.