The parents’ smartphone cheat sheet: practical tips to help children use smartphones safely

Giving your child their first smartphone is a big milestone. According to Ofcom, nine in 10 children own their own mobile phone by the age of 11, leaving many parents wondering how best to support them.

A smartphone can allow your child to stay in touch with friends, navigate school life and explore their interests. But it also raises questions about screen time, social media, online safety and when to step in. The aim isn't to make children fearful of technology, but to help them understand both its opportunities and its risks.

Helping your child develop healthy smartphone habits isn't about getting every decision right. It's about building trust, creating routines and having regular conversations as your child grows. This practical cheat sheet combines expert-backed advice with practical guidance inspired by SafetyMode to help your family navigate smartphones confidently.

Your quick-reference smartphone cheat sheet

 ✔ Agree screen time limits that work for your family
✔ Create a phone-free hour before bed
✔ Keep phones out of bedrooms overnight
✔ Set accounts to private
✔ Enable SafeSearch on Google Search
✔ Check privacy settings regularly
✔ Remove unnecessary payment details
✔ Talk about how to spot scams
✔ Agree homework and study routines
✔ Make sure your child knows they can always come to you

1. Screen time and healthy habits

According to Internet Matters, nearly 30% of children spend three to four hours a day on connected devices. While the UK Government now recommends limiting screen time to no more than an hour a day for children aged two to five, experts agree that there is no single screen time rule that works for every family.

For older children, the emphasis is increasingly on helping them develop healthy digital habits and ensuring screen use supports (rather than replaces) sleep, exercise, learning and face-to-face relationships.

Focus on quality over quantity. Healthy smartphone habits are less about counting every minute and more about making sure screens don't crowd out sleep, exercise and family time. 

✔ Do

• Set screen time limits that work for your family
  Create boundaries that work for your family, whether that's limiting certain apps, introducing phone-free times or agreeing daily screen-free activities. 

• Create a phone-free hour before bed
  Notifications, videos and endless scrolling can make it harder for children to switch off at night. A screen-free wind-down period before bed can help support healthier sleep habits.

• Keep phones out of bedrooms overnight
  Charging phones outside the bedroom reduces the temptation to stay up late to check messages, watch videos or scroll through apps.

• Encourage active rather than passive screen use
  Creating a video, learning a language or researching a school project is very different from passively consuming content. Encourage activities that involve creativity, learning or communication.

• Model healthy habits yourself
  Demonstrating healthy boundaries around your own smartphone use can help reinforce the habits you're encouraging at home.

✘ Avoid

• Relying on willpower alone
  Many apps are designed to keep you engaged for as long as possible. Agreed routines, device settings and family rules are often more effective than expecting children to self-regulate.

• Turning every discussion into a battle about minutes and hours
  Focusing only on screen time can miss the bigger picture. Conversations about how a child feels online and what they're doing can be just as important.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• Which apps make you feel good after using them?

• What does a healthy balance look like to you?

OtherPhone tip

Powered by SafetyMode, OtherPhone supports healthy habits with content filters, screen time limits, app controls, website blocking, location tracking and more.

What Mumsnet users say

“[…] I think the key message that comes across is that any screen activity needs to make room for sleep, exercise, play and chatting with parents - and meals and bedtime should be screen free for developmental reasons […]" EducationX3

2. Homework, learning and AI

Your child's smartphone can be much more than a source of entertainment. Used well, it can provide access to educational content, revision tools, language-learning apps and AI-powered study support.

As AI becomes a bigger part of school life, however, it's important to help children understand that chatbots aren't always right. Research from Internet Matters found that 64% of children are using AI chatbots for support with everything from homework to emotional advice and companionship, with many rarely questioning the accuracy of the responses they receive.

Helping your child question information and use AI to support their thinking, rather than replace it, is becoming an important digital skill.

✔ Do

• Create dedicated homework routines
  Having a regular time and place for homework can help your child switch into study mode. 

• Reduce distractions during focused study time
  Whether that means putting phones away, switching off notifications or using app controls, reducing interruptions can help children concentrate for longer.

• Encourage creative and educational screen use
  Not all screen time is created equal. Revision apps, educational videos, language-learning tools and creative projects can all help children get more from the technology they use.

• Use AI as a learning tool rather than a shortcut
  AI can explain difficult concepts and generate revision questions, but encourage your child to use it to deepen their understanding rather than produce finished answers. 

✘ Avoid

• Multitasking between homework and social media
  Constantly switching between revision and notifications can make it harder to focus and retain information. If possible, encourage your child to tackle one task at a time.

• Copying AI answers without understanding them
  Being able to submit an answer isn't the same as learning. If your child can't explain the information in their own words, it's worth taking a closer look together.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• How do you know that answer is accurate?

• Could you explain that answer in your own words?

• What's the biggest distraction when you're revising?

What Mumsnet users say

“I’ve told my kids to use [AI] like an extra pair of eyes before they turn in work. So do the work, then run their work through it for feedback on style and content and use it in the same way as they would use teacher feedback or asking me to run my eye over a piece of work.” Ozgirl76

3. Mental health and wellbeing

Research from Internet Matters found that children's wellbeing is influenced more by how they use their devices than by the amount of time spent online.

Many of the apps children use are designed to hold their attention for as long as possible. Endless scrolling, personalised recommendations and algorithm-driven content can make it difficult to switch off, which is why helping children understand how these systems work is becoming an important part of digital literacy.

Regular breaks matter too. NICE guidance highlights the importance of balancing screen-based activities with physical activity, social interaction and other healthy behaviours that support children's wellbeing. 

✔ Do

• Explain how algorithms work
  You don't need to be a tech expert. Simply helping your child understand that apps are designed to recommend content based on what keeps people engaged can encourage more mindful use.

• Encourage regular breaks
  Whether it's getting outside, reading or playing sports, regular breaks can help children maintain a healthier balance.

• Help your child recognise how different apps make them feel
  Talk about how different apps make your child feel, so they can make more informed choices about how they spend their time online. 

• Promote offline interests and hobbies
  Sport, music, clubs, creative hobbies and time with friends all help create balance and remind children that life doesn't happen exclusively through a screen.

✘ Avoid

• Assuming children understand why content appears in their feeds
  Many children don't realise that algorithms are constantly shaping what they see. Helping them understand this can encourage more critical thinking about online content.

• Ignoring mood changes linked to online activity
  If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, irritable or unusually upset after spending time online, it may be worth gently exploring what they've been experiencing.

• Treating all online experiences as either entirely good or entirely bad
  Keeping conversations balanced can help children feel more comfortable talking openly.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• Why do you think that video appeared on your feed?

• How do you feel after spending time on that app?

• Are there any apps that leave you feeling stressed or pressured?

What Mumsnet users say

“I was really strict with screen time with my kids when they were younger but always within the context of why. As I've loosened the restrictions (all young adults now) it's always within the context of 'if I see anything to concern me [...] then we reverse back to strict access.' It helps if they understand why you are putting rules in place and fundamentally agree with them.” Thaawtsom

4. Social media and friendships

For many older children, social media is a way to stay connected with friends, explore interests and express themselves. But it can also bring pressures, from comparing themselves to others to feeling they might miss out if they're offline.

In June 2026, the UK Government announced plans to introduce a social media ban for under-16s, prompting many families to think more carefully about when children should start using these platforms. 

✔ Do

• Keep accounts private
  Private accounts give your child more control over who can see their content and contact them.

• Review follower lists together
  Review who your child follows - and who follows them - together.

• Talk about respectful behaviour online
  Remind your child that the same standards of kindness and respect apply online as they do offline.

• Discuss digital footprints early
  Remind your child that posts and messages can stay online long after they’ve been posted.

✘ Avoid

• Assuming online friends are always who they say they are
  Encourage your child to be cautious about people they only know online.

• Sharing personal information publicly
  Schools, locations and daily routines can reveal more than children realise.

• Reacting with panic if your child raises a concern
  Staying calm can make it easier for your child to come to you again if something goes wrong.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• Would you say that face-to-face?

• Do you know everyone who follows you?

• What would you do if a friend asked you to keep an online conversation secret?

• What makes someone a good friend online?

OtherPhone tip

OtherPhone gives you control over which apps your child can access, including social media, and when those apps are available. That means families can introduce new online experiences gradually. 

What Mumsnet users say

“My oldest is 17 and my only rule is - no apps that connect to strangers online. So WhatsApp is okay for school friends but no Instagram or TikTok or Snapchat etc. I’ve explained that if they wouldn’t talk to a stranger in the street, why do they need to talk online? And so far they’re OK with that.” parietal

5. Online safety

The online world brings huge opportunities for children, but it also comes with risks. The NSPCC recommends making conversations about online experiences a normal part of family life, so children know they can come to you if something worries them.

The goal isn't to monitor every message or website they visit, but to help them recognise warning signs, trust their instincts and know they can ask for help without fear of being blamed.

✔ Do

• Enable SafeSearch and review settings together
  SafeSearch is a Google setting that helps filter out explicit content, such as adult images and videos, from search results. It can be a useful extra layer of protection, but it isn't a replacement for conversations about what to do if your child comes across something upsetting or inappropriate online.

• Talk about pornography before they encounter it
  Many children first come across sexual content accidentally. Having an age-appropriate conversation beforehand can help them understand that online content isn't always realistic and that they can talk to you if something upsets them.

• Discuss grooming warning signs
  Help your child recognise warning signs, such as someone asking them to keep secrets, move conversations to private spaces or share personal information or images.

• Create a no-blame environment
  Make it clear they can always come to you if something goes wrong online.

✘ Avoid

• Waiting until something goes wrong
  Regular conversations are often easier and more effective than one big talk about online safety.

• Assuming it couldn't happen to your child
  Any child who uses the internet can encounter situations that make them uncomfortable. Knowing what to look out for helps children feel more prepared.

• Punishing your child for telling you about uncomfortable experiences
  If children worry they'll get into trouble, they may be less likely to ask for help when they need it.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• What would you do if someone online made you uncomfortable?

• Who would you talk to if something online upset you?

• What makes an online conversation feel unsafe?

• What would make you want to leave a chat or block someone?

A helpful tool for young people 

If your child sees something online that they don't want to be there, Childline's Report Remove tool can help young people report nude images or videos of themselves and ask for them to be removed.

OtherPhone tip

SafetyMode's app controls on OtherPhone allow you to decide what can be downloaded and accessed. You can also create website whitelists and blacklists, or even block all websites except those you choose. SafetyMode filters harmful content - including bullying, bad language and nudity - across every app, including social media, photos and messaging apps.

6. Money and scams

Scammers increasingly target children where they spend time online. From fake giveaways and ‘free’ Robux or V-Bucks to scam websites and phishing links, many are designed to encourage young people to click, share information or hand over account details.

Rather than memorising every type of scam, it's more useful for children to learn the habits of stopping, questioning and checking before they click or share information. Ofcom has identified online fraud as a significant source of harm, highlighting the importance of helping young people recognise suspicious content.

✔ Do

• Help them understand the value of digital spending
  Explain that in-game purchases, virtual currency and loot boxes still involve real money.

• Talk about how scams work
  Teach your child to look out for warning signs, such as urgent messages, fake prizes or requests for passwords.

• Encourage healthy scepticism online
  A simple rule can help: if an offer seems too good to be true, check before clicking.

✘ Avoid

• Saving payment details unnecessarily
  Removing stored payment information can reduce accidental or impulsive purchases.

• Assuming children understand digital value
  Virtual items can feel less “real” than physical purchases, so talk openly about what things actually cost.

• Clicking links without checking them first
  Encourage your child to stop and ask before opening unfamiliar links or downloading anything.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• How much would that cost in real money?

• What makes a website trustworthy?

• What would you do if someone offered you free Robux?

OtherPhone tip

Add your credit card number to the ‘blocked words’ list on OtherPhone. Any time your credit card number is entered without your consent, it will block the screen.

7. Privacy and personal information

Children often understand that they shouldn't share obvious details like passwords, but online privacy can be more complicated. Photos, locations, school details and everyday routines can reveal more than they realise.

✔ Do

• Use privacy settings and review them regularly
  Take time to check who can see your child's posts, profile information and location.

• Talk about location sharing
  Help your child understand when sharing their location is useful and when it may be better kept private.

• Explain what information should stay private
  Make sure they know that details such as addresses, school information, routines and passwords shouldn't be shared publicly.

✘ Avoid

• Sharing school names, addresses or routines publicly
  Small details can add up and reveal more about a child than they intended.

• Assuming children understand online privacy automatically
  Privacy is a skill that develops over time. Regular conversations help children make better choices.

Conversation starters to have with your child

• Who can currently see your location?

• What information would you never give to a stranger?

• How much could someone learn from your profile?

Every family will have different rules around smartphones, social media and screen time. The goal isn't to create the perfect set of restrictions - it's to help your child gradually build the confidence and judgement they'll need to manage technology independently. 

OtherPhone is fully customisable, so you can adjust it exactly to your child's age and circumstances, and change it as they grow.

Further practical guidance is available in SafetyMode's Phone Safety for Teens & Kids guide.