Is he cheating? Urgent advice please!

[mouseymouse123]

Need urgent advice please because I don't know what to make of this and I'm incapable of keeping my emotions in! Months ago I found the back of an earring on my bed and confronted DH because I'm sure it wasn't mine, he was very convincing that there was nothing untoward going on. Naive as this may sound I don't think he's the sort that would cheat, I don't see how he'd even have the time for it (he works full time and we have 2 young DC). So I chalked it up to the cleaner/something I'd forgotten that got caught up and moved inadvertently.

This evening I have just found half a fake nail on my upstairs landing and I have no explanation of where it could have come from. I've fully panicked and managed to look through DHs phone. I didn't find anything on WhatsApp, Facebook or text messages.

I do not know what to do. I want to confront him because I'm terrible at hiding my feelings but I assume if anything IS going on he will just play it off again. What should I do? Apologies for the rushed and possibly incoherent message! x

Could it belong to the cleaner? My son brought a fake eyelash home in his suitcase from Austria, things can get treaded in all the time.

If you have female cleaners coming in your house then I don’t think you can assume your husband is cheating. You know there are women in your home when you are not because you hired them to be there. Small children also pick up weird things.

We do have a cleaner but she hasn't been since last Thursday and I've never seen her with fake nails

I think if it can be explained away by the cleaner then it’s way less suspicious. Especially as you found nothing on his phone and you also don’t think he’s the type (and has no time!)

Do you have a Ring doorbell?

Assume you haven’t as would have checked it, but definitely is good idea to get one -they only cost £70 on Amazon and you’ll also be able to tell if your cleaner is in the house the requisite hours..

No ring door bell and I'm not going to be able to play long game, I'm spiralling and won't be able to hold it all in for that long.

I really don't know when he could have found the time, unless it's happening during work hours. But I just can't see any other explanation and I'm in a total panic!

Practical thinking.. has he changed the bedding ?done his own laundry if out of character?

Check the notes app and his most used apps, maybe that will give you some insight.

Do you have children? Because I have a 13 year old and I’m forever finding fake nails all over my house. I don’t buy them for her. She doesn’t really wear them, but friends put them on her, drop them around the house everywhere, it’s gross.

No not that I've noticed

Awe OP you must be in a tail spin. TBF it could be the cleaner. Are you sure it’s a nail? Think of the depths of deception needed. Taking another woman home to your house? When and where would he get the opportunity? Appreciate you think you can’t hold it in but mind once you ask or accuse that can’t be undone. You need more proof. 🕵️‍♂️ It might not be what you think and if it’s not him, you could end up destroying your marriage in long run.
Could you check bank accounts? Be on it when you are away? Say you’re going away overnight and then double back home?

6 and 3 yo, definitely not them

If I was going to cheat, I’d be deleting texts all the time, so I don’t think that as there’s nothing on the phone that doesn’t mean he’s not cheating.

All I have to say is there’s never “not time” for jigjig.

You can discount that reason for it not being an affair.

It might be one of YOUR friends @mouseymouse123 ? Or a mum friend /dm/mil/sil. I mean it's not much of a proof of cheating is it? It would take more for me to get suspicious.

Could he be into dressing up in female attire? Some blokes go very far with details like earrings and fake nails.

Any of your garments being misplaced?

Sorry, wrong thread. Have reported.

I'm wondering if I should confront him acting as if I know for sure, that way I'd be more likely to see a real reaction. But then concerned about the damage that could do if I'm wrong.

If you bring it up now without positive proof and he is cheating, he will just learn to hide it better. I would wait until you have something concrete before confronting him. If you keep nosing around and find nothing, it may be nothing. Or he may be smart enough to hide things well.

I agree but I just don't think I will be able to manage that. He already can tell something isn't right, I'm doing my best right now but I wear my heart on my sleeve and can't believably pretend I'm fine.

And I also have no idea how I would find positive proof!

It’s hardly proof, an unexplained fake nail. Could’ve been walked in or fallen off someone and just popping up now as dislodged. Why are you so suspicious? Has he been unfaithful before?

If nothing on any phone etc unlikely

when could he have bought a woman home to shag ?

all seems unlikely