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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to worry a metal bed frame could be unsafe for a tween

37 replies

tonkendear · Yesterday 19:17

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft&colour=Cream

Am I being unreasonable to think that the gap between the bars could present a risk to a tween/young teenager, if their head were to become stuck between them? (I haven't measured the width of the gap). Or am I unreasonably stuck in some sort of baby / toddler safe sleeping mode? Tell me if IABU. Teen likes this style.

Emily Metal Bed Frame | Dunelm

* Durable metal frame * Curved top rails * Powder coated finish * Classic design Bring timeless style to your bedroom with this metal bed frame, featuring gently curved top rails for a softer, classic look. The durable metal construction is finished...

https://www.dunelm.com/product/emily-metal-bed-frame-1000295082?colour=Cream&defaultSkuId=31055771&size=Small+Double+4ft

OP posts:
2026newname · Yesterday 19:18

What have I just read???!!

snackatack · Yesterday 19:19

I had a bed very similar - really un comfy to sit up in - so I'd say no for a teen as pretty as they look - unless you are going to invest in 1 million pillows too

AttachmentFTW · Yesterday 19:19

Do you suffer with an anxiety disorder? Because this isn't really a normal thing to be worrying about.

Octavia64 · Yesterday 19:25

You are unreasonably stuck in baby/toddler mode

Bonbon21 · Yesterday 19:26

I have an older version of this bed.. rails are fine with pillows but the sprung base slats are very noisy! Even just moving around on the bed, creaks like crazy!

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · Yesterday 19:27

Rather depends on how much of a spanner your child is.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 19:30

If you are worrying for your own child because they’re particularly clumsy/dim then just buy another bed. If you think this bed is a danger to all tweens then you have problems really

TeenLifeMum · Yesterday 19:32

I have a similar bed and my head fits between without getting stuck … if she wants to sit up in bed then she’ll need to have lots of pillows (I find 4 enough).

GaIadriel · Yesterday 19:35

This is a...unique...concern.

That said, I'm still a little afraid of those fold out fishing chairs after reading the story of that Japanese guy who had one collapse and a leg go up his 🍑 almost killing him.

Wingingit73 · Yesterday 19:49

🫣

superchick · Yesterday 19:53

And what... they shout "muuuuuumm, I'm stuck" and you go in and unstick them. Its not dangerous.

MiceSpiders · Yesterday 19:54

We have similar in the spare room my head doesn't fit between the bars , you will need plenty of pillows though, maybe a triangle one for reading etc

MiceSpiders · Yesterday 19:55

GaIadriel · Yesterday 19:35

This is a...unique...concern.

That said, I'm still a little afraid of those fold out fishing chairs after reading the story of that Japanese guy who had one collapse and a leg go up his 🍑 almost killing him.

That's not how that chair leg got there...... 😂

MelonSorbet · Yesterday 19:56

I promise you that never in history has a child of tweenage years got their head stuck in a bed frame.

PinkyFlamingo · Yesterday 19:58

Don't think many young teenagers would want to stick their head between the bars! Have you got an issue with anxiety? Because this is probably the maddest thing I've read today!

MrsBatshitRatshit · Yesterday 20:11

Well, if your child hasn't enough sense not to stick her head through the bars, one embarrassing experience should be sufficient to make the point.

Canonlythinkofthisone · Yesterday 20:11

Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy · Yesterday 19:27

Rather depends on how much of a spanner your child is.

Why did the laugh emoji get canned 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

BertieBotts · Yesterday 20:12

Tweenagers do not have disproportionately large heads in the way babies and toddlers do, their shoulders are bigger than the widest point of their head. And their limbs and bodies are much much longer. Medium sized gaps are dangerous to very young children because they may try to crawl backwards through them (or roll/wriggle into them in their sleep) and their body fits through but their head does not, which puts dangerous amounts of pressure on their neck, posing an asphyxiation risk. Also a baby/toddler does not know how to free themselves by reversing the way they got stuck, whereas an older child barring disabilities will know this (or as others pointed out they could shout for help).

So yes, you're well past the age where this would be considered a risk, that age is probably passed by about 5 years old.

In any case this gap looks wider than the size which is disallowed - the risky gap is when it's wider than 6.5cm but smaller than 20cm or something like that - it might be 23/25cm but I can't find the source now. If the young child's entire body including the head can fit through, then it's still a risk for falls (for things like bannisters or bunk beds) but no longer for entrapment.

Pinkgin00 · Yesterday 20:14

To answer your question, yes you are stuck in the baby/toddler phase of safe sleeping.

Lemonfrost · Yesterday 20:20

You cannot be serious OP

Loulou4022 · Yesterday 20:26

Please tell me this is a wind up!!

tonkendear · Yesterday 20:26

Funny replies😂thank you.

So I'm pretty unanimously unreasonable. I don't have an anxiety disorder, thankfully, but something about cots and safe sleeping must have gotten under my skin in those sleep deprived years. I wasn't thinking that they'd actually actively stick their head in between (although with teenagers you never do know) but perhaps could get stuck in between while sleeping, no idea how far the gap. Glad I asked and happy to be unreasonable as we may get it for dd after all, although the squeakiness pp mentioned does not sound great. Apparently metal beds are all the rage with teens, I've never slept in one.

OP posts:
karayza · Yesterday 20:50

If you're worried about the bars, I got my 9yo DD a giant kinda crown 👑 shaped tufted pillow that's 3ft wide from temu for about a tenner and it has band to hook around the headboard of her pink metal bedframe and she seems to be happy enough with it!

Brightbluesomething · Yesterday 22:00

That’s a very strange worry to have.
But DD did have one of these until last year. Really squeaky. I replaced it with a divan with a padded headboard which is comfier to sit up scrolling in bed against.

Cloverroll · Yesterday 22:02

I went to boarding school aged 11. We all had metal bed frames. No-one ever got stuck.

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