My son, who’s 8, has his heart set on a Canada Goose coat with the real fur trim that we found for a good price on ebay for his birthday because all his friends have them and he thinks it’s the coolest thing .. I get the practicality, they’re warm and tough, but I’m really uneasy about the idea of him wearing real fur, especially coyote fur, which I’ve heard can involve pretty cruel trapping methods....

I don’t want to shut him down completely and make it a big fight, but I also don’t want to support something that feels wrong. Has anyone here let their child wear real fur? How did you explain it to them, or how did you steer them toward a faux option without it becoming a battle? He said the faux option looks terrible, which I do agree! Will it survive playground life without getting stolen?

Morning everyone. I'm thinking of buying one of these. Does anyone have any advice and/or specific models they'd recommend?

Thanks 🥰

Bought a jacket from m&s on Tuesday (should be delivered tomorrow)… just seen it’s now gone in the sale at half price. Grrrr! Now out of stock in my size… but does anyone have any experience of taking it back to store for a refund, and buying it back at the sale price?! Bit cheeky possibly but very annoying!!

I have 2 siblings and 2 half siblings who are my dads.

I’m in a good financial situation, so 5 years ago, I gave one of my full siblings some money to help her buy a house and also for fertility treatment. I told my other full sibling that I would help her with money if and when she needed it. A few months ago she found a house she wanted to buy so I gave her the money.

My dad knows I’ve done this as my siblings told him, and since giving the latest gift, he and my half siblings are asking if I’m going to gift my half siblings the same, as they both rent and one is also wanting fertility treatment.

I get on ok with my half siblings but I don’t have the same relationship as I do with my other siblings. One of them has now stopped speaking to me and the other is piling on the pressure for me to gift them the same. They’re also trying to make me feel extra guilty for not at least paying for fertility treatment one of them who is struggling to conceive.

My dad has said it’ll ‘change the family’ if I don’t treat my half siblings the same. He ignored my text asking him what he meant by that. He has now ignored my birthday.

AIBU for not giving my half siblings the same as my full siblings?

What would you do? I feel like I should be able to spend my money however I want to. I’m mostly annoyed at my dad as my relationship with him shouldn’t depend on what I give to his other children.

After over 25 years of being engaged we're getting married. Not telling anyone apart from DC who are now old enough to be witnesses.
I DON'T want a wedding dress, want something I can wear again. I'm 54, size 22/24, 5ft 8. DP may well just turn up in shorts...
Budget - under £150

My council like many have recently changed our recycling. We now have:

• a bin for paper and card
• a bin for “mixed recycling”
• the food bin
• the black bin
• the garden bin (which I have to pay extra for 😡)

The only substantial change other than the number of bins to put things in is they will now collect glass whereas we previously had to go to the bottle bank.

But it now means they are now only collecting our black bin once every THREE weeks (and currently not for 4 because the new system has stupidly started on a recycling week).

How are families supposed to only have rubbish collected once every three weeks? There is simply no way.

I do recycle but I have always drawn the line at washing up gross things like packets of mince and jars of mayonnaise. But apparently the council have decided people have nothing better to do. I wouldn’t resent it so much if I thought it was actually making a difference but my landfill mayonnaise jar is not the main problem here!

I'm 53 and am going to a festival this summer. My legs need some extra support so I'd really like to invest in some compression leggings but can they ever look stylish?! I'm really not into the 'white stuff' tunics over leggings, I think it's too dated for me. But how how else could I style leggings? Must I keep them hidden under a maxi skirt? !

I had a nap Sunday and yesterday. I slept for 10 hrs last night. I've only been up two hrs today and pretty much woke up with a headache. I drank plenty yesterday. I put electrolytes in my water this morning to see if it helps and I've already had a cup of tea and drank around 1.5l water today. My living room is 23 degrees and feels cool in comparison to the rest of the house. I don't feel hot in here yet I still feel like crap overall.

I'm autistic and on ssris which I suspect is why I don't cope with the heat. It's half term so at least I can stay at home and out of the sun/worst of the heat.

People will say we sometimes moan too much about the hot weather, but it's literally so difficult for some of us. How do others manage?

I might bring a fan in from the garage but the noise gets on my nerves after a while 😅

I changed my user name for this and some details as it’s pretty outing (and a long post sorry - trying not to drip feed) but I need advice please.

My niece has a birthday party coming up this week and my Dsis was originally going to book a party package doing an activity with food and party bags included.
It worked out as far too expensive for her as a package because you need a minimum amount of guests to book and so she decided to take a smaller friend group and pay for them to do the activity individually and then to take them to a fast food place to eat.
She also decided instead of party bags to just do cake to save money and thought the kids might not expect one after an expensive activity and might be too old to be bothered anyway at 9 years old.

My Dsis became ill unexpectedly and had to have an operation which means she’s unable to host the party and her DH is at work so she asked me to do it.
I didn’t want my niece disappointed so have taken over the WhatsApp group to finalise things and I have a friend to help on the day.

I have had two messages from two mums basically saying siblings need to attend as it’s school holidays and not really asking but telling me. There hasn’t been any money offered but one mum put “Lucy isn’t expecting a party bag but I’m hoping you will be able to provide a meal for her”.

The other mums message was a bit more polite saying “Katy can’t come without her sister Jess as I have no one to look after Jess, I hope this isn’t an issue as Katy is really excited about coming to celebrate Amy’s birthday”.

I can’t believe how rude and cheeky this is, surely they aren’t expecting my Dsis to pay for the extra kids?
Even if the parents do offer to pay I don’t want to be responsible for two extra kids who will probably be a different age category anyway.

I want to reply saying that the party numbers are final and we can’t stretch to additional guests financially and also I don’t think two is enough people to safeguard extra children.
I wasn’t sure if I should include the financial part as they might have been expecting to pay for the siblings on arrival.

I was hoping for some help please in writing a response that is polite but firm, my Dsis said one of the mums will possibly try to drop the sibling off anyway as she has form for this.

I don’t have children so feel uncomfortable dealing with this and I was really surprised to hear it’s a common request, I can understand if it was a cheaper venue like a hall party when the kids were younger but not for an expensive activity!

I’m also wondering what to say to kids if they are expecting party bags. With one mum mentioning them in the text I’m thinking others might expect them and kids might ask for one. I don’t have the money or time to provide them and wouldn’t have a clue what to put in them, I don’t want to stress my Dsis when she’s ill and already fretting about pleaving me in charge, surely a slice of cake is enough?!

It would be helpful if someone could also give me a suggestion of what to say if someone does attempt to drop off a sibling please.

I’m ND and not the best with confrontation or awkward conversations and I’m really pissed off I’ve been put in this position and my niece will be really upset if the two girls can’t attend because we can’t include siblings although that maybe can’t be helped.
I wouldn’t have been as keen to volunteer to help if if known I’d be dealing with these cheeky requests and worrying about bloody party bags!

I’ve posted quickly but I have to go out now so I won’t be able to respond much until later.
I just thought I’d better add this in anticipation of people asking “where has the OP gone!”
I will update after I’ve hopefully handled the situation tactfully!

I can't seem to get the inside of the windscreen sparkling clean. It always ends up streaky.

Not helped, I suspect, by me not having lovely long arms to reach the top and the bottom of the screen. I have one of those long handled wands with a microfibre cloth, but even that isn't keeping it properly clean.

Anyone with any tried and tested "definitely will work" methods of interior car window cleaning?

Sorry if there's a thread already and I've missed it. But I want to talk about NEETs.

Apparently, we are potentially going to have 1.25million young people not in employment, education or training by the early 2030s. This is quite an alarming number, and it feels like we're failing an entire generation - both the NEETs themselves, who don't seem to have very much going on in their lives that might give them a sense of satisfaction or achievement, but also their working peers who will presumably end up having to support them via the tax system.

I really don't want this to be a thread with lots of judgement or criticism of these young people - it seems to me that we must have failed them somehow as a society. I also want to steer clear of party politics if we can. But I really want to understand why we have so many young people in this position right now.

Does anyone have a child in this situation who would be willing to share why they find themselves in this position? What are the barriers to them studying or getting at least a part time job? Are they happy with how things are right now? Are they trying to change their situation? What do they actually do all day? Are they surrounded by friends who are in the same position? What do they do about money? And what do you feel about the whole situation as a parent?

If anyone is willing to share, I really hope we can avoid a pile-on in which the young people and/or their parents are subjected to a character assassination. I would like an honest and frank exchange of views and experiences because I do genuinely want to understand the root causes of this issue, but if it descends into blame and fingerpointing, then the whole conversation will get derailed.

For full disclosure, I do have a dc in the middle of the 16-24 age group, but neither she nor any of her friends fall into this category.

Lighthearted, please don't take this personally if you disagree - everyone loves what they love.
(It is also a little bit making me annoyed at myself for being annoyed by such a first-world problem.)

Ice cream. Very topical with our heatwave here in the UK. For the longest time the ice cream flavours in shops are making me feel like an old grump. But this year, with people raiding ice cream freezers in shops it is even worse. I am a very fruit-oriented guy. To me limes, lemons, grapefruits, cherries, etc are refreshing. You can even go crazy, and combine your lime with bits of mint, something that makes sense. Or combine cherries with chocolate, it is divine.

But why on god's green earth is the majority of ice cream stacked in the shops are random, overkill flavours? I am sorry, cookie dough is not a flavour. oreos, or whatever random brand of sweet is not a flavour. All my boring face is trying to do is spot a nice, simple flavour... like a passion fruit... When I reach for "lemon" I don't need it to be lemon cheesecake. Cheesecake is not a flavour. it is a dessert of its own. Are people really loving these nonsensical inventions? Why can't a flavour be clear, and not an "ice creamified" specific dessert/sweet?

And I am talking about actual, good ice cream here. Not the lemon sorbet that is 45 spoons of sugar with lemon essence.

Why do I always find proper and clean flavours in the most remote farm shops if I want to buy some? The reign of silly ice cream flavours needs to end...

(oh, and a little personal addition that will make me unpopular: vanilla can die a painful death, too. It was already boring even when I was a kid. There is a reason we say "he/she's a bit vanilla". And yet vanilla is the flavour that you have stacks and stacks of from all brands.. )

Yes, I know we can make our own. And yes, I know some cafes have wonderful handcrafted ice cream.. I specifically aimed at shops.

If you use re-usable/washable sanitary pads, do or would you line dry them after washing assuming four or five neighbours can easily see them?

Most of my Summer clothes no longer fit and I desperately need a couple of cool, floaty dresses and some shorts that are not too short.

What have you all bought recently that you’ve loved?

I really need some inspiration.

Seeing as we are in for some nice weather I wondered what everyone is planning for dinners. I've decided to do salad niciose tomorrow and home made burgers at some point next week. Not sure what else yet

I'm 47 and when I was growing up there were very definite messages about dressing to hide bits of your body that weren't "good". I'm pear-shaped and have always had heavy thighs, and by the standards of the day I didn't have "good legs", so I never wore shorts or short skirts and dresses. I still don't, really, because I find it hard to let go of the notion that showing your legs is reserved for women with coltish figures and slim thighs.

I see younger women wearing pretty much whatever they like regardless of their shape and I feel genuinely envious of them. I'd really like to just throw on a dress that I love even if it doesn't "flatter" my figure! Is there anyone on here of my generation who does that? I do see a lot of posts from women saying they have pear/apple/inverted triangle shapes so they can't wear this, that or the other, so it's clearly not just me, but I'd like hear from people who've managed to let go of the rules and just choose their clothes according to what they love.

I have used IKEA sandwich/freezer bags for years. They are the MVP of food bags if you ask me.

I am running low and the nearest IKEA is 30 miles away - I don’t need anything else at IKEA right now. I have taken to rinsing them out and drying them on the washing line to extend the lifetime of my stash.

YABU - I can recommend you better, .
YANBU - just drive to IKEA and buy the damn bags.

I’m in the middle of house renovations at the min and the builder was in my bedroom doing work ( of course he’s young and gorgeously handsome) I nipped to the shop to get some cold drinks and ice lolly’s for the team as it’s obviously boiling. On my return I notice some of my underwear and socks
on the floor on the landing. He turns to me and says “ sorry love these were stuffed down the radiator” yip, you guessed it. My very unattractive heavily brown period stained underwear is in full sight of the most delicious specimen I’ve come across. I actually want to die. He will have definitely seen all the stains and now I want to fall into a hole. Im
sure he will have shown the other men on site! I want to cry I’m so so embarrassed 😳

Does anyone have this dress? How oversized is it? I’m a size 8 and not sure if it will be huge. thanks in advance

https://www.hush-uk.com/liddie-air-flow-barrel-tank-dress-true-red/013798-1056.html

DSis and BIL have four lovely children under 8. They’re good kids but obviously four children are hard work at times. DSis wants to go away with friends for a few days and has asked me to come and stay/help because BIL says he’ll find it too much on his own.

The thing is, BIL regularly goes away on cycling holidays for a week at a time and DSis manages the children perfectly well without extra help.

When he goes away, it’s just accepted that she copes, but when she wants a few days away herself, suddenly she needs support put in place for him.

I do help out with the kids generally and love spending time with them, so this isn’t about disliking them. I just feel a bit irritated by the double standard and I’m tempted to say no this time.

Hi all, i am a ftm of a beautiful 11 month old. I do have bad anxiety and my brother is autistic with severe learning difficulties and extremely violent so this is and has always been a real concern of mine. I am worried my son is autistic for a few reasons:

• he can only army crawl at 11 months. A physio checked him over and said they are happy with him and that him being sick after nursery for 6 weeks could have kept him back.
• he cannot pull to stand at 11 months
• he doesnt seem to "talk back" to us or imitate us making faces
• he at times can have fleeting eye contact, especially after naps
• he sometimes won't respond to his name at all
• he doesnt understand commands (I think he does understand no and come here)

He can:

• make good eye contact and is normally very smiley
• met all other milestones on time lime sitting
• waves and claps
• bear weight on his legs
• is fine being passed to strangers / is generally pretty chill but cries at the right time.

Does he sound like a neurotypical 11 month old? I feel like this is ruining my time with him and it doesn't help seeing friends younger children reach milestones he hasnt yet 😔

TLDR- workmen are only people who could have taken my engagement ring, do I confront them?

Need some urgent advice please-

We’ve had 2 workmen here for several days repairing the patio. They don’t need access to the house and come in and out the side passage which leads directly to the garden from outside. One of the men has done several jobs with/for DP over the years, let’s call him Bob, the other guy is an assistant DP doesn’t know.

On Monday night DP left my new engagement ring in its box on a table near the front door as he was going to take it to have a small adjustment done, however on Tuesday morning he forgot and on Wednesday noticed it wasn’t there. He assumed I’d taken it but I hadn’t and there’s no one else in the house, no cleaner or visitors, no one. We live in a rural area and I haven’t always been locking the front door when I pop out on errands as the builders are around - I never thought they themselves might be a risk- and it’s a cul-de-sac so no one passes by except one middle aged neighbour who we’re friendly with, walking her dog. Our Ring doorbell has not recorded any stranger entering our front gate.

We don’t know what to do. Obviously we can’t accuse with no proof, but it seems clear that one of them has taken it. My only idea so far is to have a word with Bob, ask him a bit about the other guy and how long he’s known him etc then say a ring has gone missing and we’d rather sort it out now than look through days of Ring camera footage (we have cameras but unfortunately not in that area, but he doesn’t need to know that). That way at least we’d be implying to Bob that we don’t think it’s him. Incidentally, DP hasn’t categorically said that it couldn’t be Bob.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

It's a floorplan question!

I want to turn my current kitchen into a utility room and the current second reception into a kitchen. The problem is the dining room would be far from the kitchen and we will often need to take things from the new utility to go into the kitchen.

AIBU to add one or more serving hatches to the floorplan - between kitchen and utility and utility and dining room, respectively?

Marked up floorplan attached as well as a serving hatch idea

I could cry right now.

I understand banning thin strapped vests but surely thick straps are fine? She’s also banned all shorts (including knee length) and skirts that sit at the knee. Basically we have to go down to ankle length trousers.

AIBU to genuinely consider quitting my job? Her office is air conditioned but we’re in a horrible hot sun trap!

Me, Southwest West France about 1979
We were still agog by topless women, but there was this one woman who had a gold chain around her tiny waist and she looked brilliant and I just thought today she must be dead by now
Who do you remember seeing that made an impact?