DS got married last month and she and her husband are due to go away on their honeymoon on Tuesday for a week. They have 2 children who were going to be looked after by their grandparents (husbands parents) when they were away. Her husband’s dad has had an accident on Friday and is in hospital. He is ok but they won’t be able to look after the children. His parents have told them to go ahead with the honeymoon if they can find alternative childcare.

We have been asked to look after the children when they go away but we’ve had to say no to weekdays due to work. We both work full time and although I could probably get the time off, the short notice wouldn’t look good. I have important meetings that would have to be rearranged and it would mean I’d have to cancel other leave that I had plans for with my husband and children. Annual leave takes a lot of planning and it’s usually booked months ahead.

We have said we will look after the children over the weekend as we are not working but they’ll need to find someone else for the weekdays. AIBU? I feel sorry that she’ll miss her honeymoon but I have work. DS is saying it’s an emergency situation so we should help her.

my Christmases always upset me a bit because over the years I have gone from a big family to a small one (who I know I am very very lucky to have)

I always used to love baking and it was widely appreciated but annoyingly my kids never really liked it other than a couple of things and neither does dh. so as I have lost the people who used to scarf it down, for the past few years I haven’t bothered and I realised today I really miss it - the act of festive baking was a pleasure and a joy in itself.

so I have decided this year I would like to bake a few things - a couple of things my teens will eat but also a Xmas pudding and a Xmas cake.

the issue is that only myself and my mum will eat it and whilst we both love traditional cake/pudding, neither of us will eat massive portions and I don’t want to waste. My mother will happily eat small bits of cake for months after though

I know I can scale a recipe down but whenever I try, I always seem to get it a bit wrong. I am looking for hearty dense dark stuff. No nuts other than almonds sadly (mild allergy) but ready and willing to load with booze. Probably won’t ice any cake and rather go for some kind of glazed topping.

any suggestions/recipes very gratefully received. I know it will be cheaper/easier to buy but I just want to flex my baking muscles again

I have stayed in many hotels across Europe. Why do many British people have cornflakes for breakfast? The most boring breakfast.
I have different things to what I have at home

OK, she is 80. She also does not "do" online shopping and cannot use the internet so is limited in choice to mail order or what shops exist in her town which sell clothes (small M&S, TK Maxx, Tesco, Morrisons, New Look, Matalan). She is not short of cash.

Visited today and she was wearing the most godawful old lady mint green, acyrlic, zippy up cardigan. I said "Oh that's new mum, haven't seen that before" and she announces it's from the Damart catalogue. If you've ever wondered who buys the "comfortable slacks" and similar items advertised in the national trust magazine, that's my mum.

I don't expect her to be high fashion. Sibling and I often buy clothes for her for birthdays and Christmas, sibling recently bought her a striped breton cotton top which she appears to like. She obviously wants to be comfortable and I do get that. But there is comfortable... and there is the Damart catalogue.

I bumped into a friend of hers recently - similar age - wearing Adidas trainers, black trousers, lambswool jumper. Nothing high fashion or out there. My mum has very odd ideas about clothes and appearance (people over 40 shouldn't wear jeans, women over 30 shouldn't have long hair, if you were meant to have holes in your earlobes you'd be born with them, pop socks are a perfectly acceptable item of clothing) and weaning her off this abomination of a catalogue is going to be tough. Any ideas?

Went to walk in - closed - sign up saying they’re looking after sick people and too busy.

called 111 and told they would get a gp call back then get a text saying their too busy and call ambulance if needed!

what is going on, can’t find anything on news?

I'm looking for a cosy cardigan to wear with joggers and casual clothes. Something at least hip length, probably with buttons, definitely with pockets. Could be dark or bright, could be patterned or plain. Similar style to this, which is OK but a bit meh.
I love this from Religion, but it only goes up to a 16 and I'm a 20.
Has anyone seen anything that might fit the bill?

I haven’t spoken to anyone IRL about this as I feel so stupid.

I am nearly 50 and have been single for a few years bar a couple of short lived relationships.

A couple of years ago I became friendly with a man at work - we are in separate departments (huge company) but the hot desking arrangements meant we sat by each other a couple of days a week and got along well and bonded over mutual hobbies.

I knew he had a young child and a partner; over time he started to bemoan some stuff about his relationship and he also listened to me complaining about dates etc.

In the summer, he told me he had separated from his partner but they remained living together. We met at a hotel and slept together. This has happened a few more times; he told me he didn’t care about the age gap and that once he’d sorted a new place to live he could see himself pursuing a relationship with me.

Earlier this week, he told me he’d decided to get back with his partner and he couldn’t see me any more. I told him he’d strung me along and that I felt really hurt. He turned nasty on messages and has blocked me now. He said things about it working for both of us and that I got to sleep with someone much younger who I’d never be with in ‘normal circumstances’ and that he had ‘fun with someone experienced’ so it was just a ‘summer fling’.

He is sitting elsewhere in the office now so I don’t have to see him, but I am stuck between feeling humiliated and that I have been so stupid to ever get involved with him. I also feel very sorry for his partner who is unaware.

I am not sure what I’m looking for by posting this, maybe some tough love. I know I’ve been an idiot.

There are several atrocities happening in the world that could be described as genocides. Sudan, DCR, Rohingya in Myanmar, Yazidi in Iraq,

why has the Gaza / Palestinian cause motivated young people in the west more than any of the above ?

if you are a protester, how do to decide which cause to protest about ? If your children are protesting, why do you think they chose this one ?

I’m 54 and was not politically active when I was younger. I’m seeing the protests in France and elsewhere and wondering why Gaza so much part of the protests?

A relative of my exH died recently and has left a fairly substantial inheritance to my DCs. This has some as a complete surprise. One of my DCs is over 18 but the other is not.

The relative has not left anything to my DCs cousin. No idea why, or whether the will might even predate the cousin’s birth. If so, there were still many years in which to update the will if the relative had wanted to, and they were of sound mind throughout.

exMIL believes my DC should split their inheritance with the cousin. She believes my eldest DC should give the majority of their share to the cousin upon receiving the money, and that my youngest DC should then top up eldest when they turn 18 and can access the funds.

Eldest DC has said no, with my backing. I’m now getting rather unpleasant messages from my exH, MIL and SIL (parent of the excluded cousin) about the unfairness of it all and that my DC are selfish.

AIBU to support eldest DC to stand their ground?

My cousin has recently brought her tiny premature baby home after a stay in NICU. She weighs less than 5lbs.
She sent me a photo of the baby asleep on her tummy in her Moses basket and said that this is the position she settles best in.
I have to admit I’m quite concerned. I know babies shouldn’t generally be put down to sleep on their fronts, and with her being so premature and tiny, it makes me particularly nervous.
My cousin also doesn’t want to use a breathing or movement monitor such as an Owlet, which adds to my worry, although I appreciate these aren’t recommended as a substitute for safe sleeping practices.

Obviously, I’m not her baby’s parent and I don’t want to come across as judgemental or interfere with how she’s looking after her. I also don’t know whether the NICU team has given her any specific advice regarding sleeping positions.

Would you be concerned in this situation? Would you say something to her, or leave it alone because it’s not your baby?
I just want the little one to be safe, but I also don’t want to overstep the mark.

Looking for some inspiration. Mine has asked for a few things but want to surprise her with a few other bits.

What has yours asked for?

After armpits on my white t shirts turned yellow I’ve switched to using Mitchum roll on at night, washing off in shower in morning then applying biosen roll on. I’m worried I’ll sweat and smell without the Mitchum but want to save my clothes from staining from the aluminium in it. Help.

I struggle with my MIL in many different ways, but since having children I am finding the relationship impossible. She and FIL live about 2 hours away and since having children 4 years ago, they’ve visited us maybe 6 times. But of those 6 times, they never actually come and stay in our city - they hate cities, traffic and all things urban, so they rent somewhere for the weekend in the countryside. Fine, each to their own! But then they insist on us travelling to them for “day trips” which is occasionally an administrative nightmare and takes a great deal of effort on our part. We have to pack the car up with two kids, a dog, double pram so our youngest can at least nap on the go, kid friendly food (they have no idea how to cater for food), travel potty, toys to entertain in a non child friendly house. Then the rental house is usually a hazard for kids as they didn’t rent it with kids in mind - no stair gates, steep steps etc. I think my frustration stems from when I had my 1st and they came to “see the baby”, but made us travel 45 minutes out of city to their rental - at 5 days post partum and with stitches galore - so they could meet baby. When they don’t come to “visit” us, we go back and forth between our two sets of parents on a monthly basis so our kids can see their grandparents. I am getting so frustrated with this arrangement and honestly, a little bit sad. My husband and I have created a beautiful home for our family and would love to host them for a lunch, cuppa, picnic in the garden to show them how we live our lives as a family. Any idea how to raise this and insist that if they come to “visit” us, they actually make the effort of coming all the way to us so we can relax in the comfort of our own home? I should add, we live in a suburb of a city so a driveway to park on, quiet family friendly road, two spare bedrooms for them to stay in (with en suite for privacy) and a huge garden - it’s not like we live in a 30 storey block of flats in a really urban area. They are the same age as my parents, who come and stay ALL of the time. Thank you for getting this far!

I've been putting my washing away this evening and realised I have enough lounge jumpers/dressing gown type garments to last even if I live another 30 years 😆 I won't obviously be clearing them out or anything but I'm definitely stocked to last.

Wondering what everybody else has far too many of?

I just got this done (lash lift & tint) as I have pale browny eyelashes and read that this can make you look like you have mascara on without the effort. Lazybones over here thought that sounded great; I'm sick of feeling like a frump and putting make up on everyday is a bit of a faff.

Anyway - the colour is fine (I used to tint my own lashes at home anyway till they discontinued the good stuff) but the lift looks INSANE, and not in a good way. Like... lashes at a 45 degree angle, sticking straight upwards, and now sort of tucked away into the creases of my eyelids 😂

It's a laugh or cry situation and I know it's daft, because of course they'll grow out, but I'm going to a thing tomorrow and I was hoping this would make me feel pretty again but now I just feel like I want to wear sunglasses for the next month and hope nobody asks about it.

If you're considering it... don't.

Anyone have any tips on how to lessen the effects sooner? Google says it'll take 6 weeks to grow out. Pity me. Je suis foolish. And odd looking.

Tomorrow our younger daughter is 24. I would love to have the energy to make her a cake but I’m running on fumes and have been for months.

I gave my husband one job. Go buy her a birthday cake. He sent me a photograph Colin. I said no, there is only one time a year she can have a cake with happy birthday written on it. Would you believe such a thing does not exist at our nearest M&S!

Her older sister has come to the rescue, she’s gone to Sainsbury’s.

YABU Colin is the gold standard shop bought cake

YANBU Colin is an any time of year cake

I have been going round in circles with this for months. I have recently had a significant pay rise and want to continue buying investment pieces of clothing. I have recently came out of an abusive relationship and want to treat myself well.

should I buy a Barbour? I love this one, https://www.barbour.com/gb/icons-tartan-collar-modern-beadnell-waxed-jacket-LWX1582OL71.html?_gl=11mjekn4_upMQ..gs*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw25fWBhAVEiwAMopNjjuJBIKUwafdXsnpjVZl2Hj7-Ike3RvESbDk6k-590QDQcHSXnxkBoCMUcQAvD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAADtGNrhYTSGU2_0xQyGo4bCUL3A9v

any Barbour fans that would recommend. I have no landrover, dog or tweed cap but I love them 😂

Bought this White Stuff jumper described as a chunky cotton knit, brand new with tags.
It's arrived and I think it's acrylic rather than cotton, but the care label has been cut out so the composition listing is gone.
I don't think it's new either as there's some pilling here and there.
Before I raise an issue with the seller I just thought I'd ask if anyone actually has it and can tell me from the label what it's actually made of.
(Obviously the picture will be along shortly ...)

I’m away for a couple of nights at a hotel, they have a restaurant so I thought I’d just eat here.

I get here and it’s closed for refurbishment for three nights! I went out and got fish and chips to eat in my room but they told me that outside food isn’t allowed in the hotel, because of the restaurant…

Which isn’t open! I’ve asked if they’re serious and they said yes, they made me eat outside the hotel on a bench by the beach.

AIBU or is this utterly fucking nuts?

I’m looking for some advice on upper lip hair removal for my DD who is 13. She has beautiful dark hair and pale skin.
She wasn’t keen on trying the bleach when I suggested it. What’s the best way to keep it looking good all the time, I don’t want the regrowth to be worse than before she started removing it.

The latest Liberty Beauty Drop box is due out this week so it is the perfect time for a shiny, new thread. As usual, let's not discuss the contents here until Monday when the first boxes are delivered. Then those of us who want a surprise can avoid this thread from then. 🎁💄🧴

I have to get changed at a swimming pool where there is water and dirt all over the floor. In the summer I just wear a dress and sandals for ease of changing but in winter I need something warmer that doesn’t require tights so am looking for some kind of cheap leisure wear that is easy to get onto a slightly damp body- loose and maybe slightly flannel lined?? Does this exist?

Conversation about drunk shopping and I mentioned that I once ordered racing sprouts and a sudoku rubiks cube just before Xmas about 18 years ago!

DD is adamant that no one does stuff like that. I need you to help me prove her wrong!

New thread. Welcome back everyone. It's taken a while to get through the last due to how busy the advent threads have been.

All the holiday releases are coming out now and Black Friday is looming. So take a seat and buckle up. 😊

Im looking for a pair of dressier trainers that are suitable to wear with wide legged jeans. I bought a pair of Adidas specialzs but they feel too flat to the floor. Im only 5ft3 so want them to be a bit chunkier and have a little elevation. However im not keen on flatform trainers.
Any recommendations?