My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

[nostyleandnoclothes]

I have a small pouch that I carry around with me everyday. It’s got a lot of medication in it (antihistamines, painkillers, stomach medicine), as well as 5 lip sticks and 4 lip liners. In total it comes to over £150 worth of stuff in a space NK small pounce (which is expensive in itself!).

I was at my mum’s on Thursday night when she complained about her having bad hay fever. I pulled out the pouch and handed it to her, and although I thought I’d put it back in my bag I must’ve left it on the side. I realised tonight it’s missing as I’ve gone through my bag ahead of work tomorrow and she’s admitted that she has thrown it away.

AIBU to say she should replace it? Both the makeup and medication she’s thrown away?

Can’t she retrieve the bag ?

Why did she throw it away?

I have absolutely no idea. She said she’s just scooped it up and thrown it in the black bin!

Did the binmen come on Friday?

I’m not entirely sure I want to take medicine and use lipsticks that have been sat in the black bin in this heat for three days 🥴 I doubt she’d look even if I asked

That is very bizarre behaviour on her part. Why wouldn’t she text and tell you that you left it? Or put it aside for you?

That’s really bizarre, is she having cognitive problems? Can she afford to replace it?

No cognitive problems. She absolutely can afford to replace it. Her excuse is she just wasn’t looking as she swept a load of stuff into the bin!

It was an accident - there must have been a reason she put it in the bin or
else she’s losing the plot. Sounds like genuine error. I don’t think asking her to pay for it is very nice at all and is petty.

If you have that many lipsticks / liners in one handbag then presumably you have a lot of makeup at home anyway so it’s not a big deal?

Send her links to everything that's gone and tell her to get ordering.

Your bag will probably still be alright though. Just go and get it.

I think if you’ve bought 9 lip products from space nk you might be massively underestimating the value of what’s been binned 🫣
worth an ask if they can be retrieved though; lipsticks are self contained in their own packaging plus they’ve been in an additional zipped bag - it might be okay?!
I mean I’m not sure I’d bother myself but it’s bothering you so why not ask?
It’s odd behaviour though if she just binned it!

Make her be more careful in future though.

It’s bizarre from her but if you’re really concerned then I’d at least be looking to see what could be retrieved.

It’s a collection I’ve built up over the last couple of years. They’re pretty much all my main lip products so not the easiest for me to replace from my makeup at home

Then yes send her the links and ask her to replace them

It’s just really pissed me off to be honest! Her and my dad are quite wealthy so able to be quite care free with their belongings. I’m not and each purchase has been really considered and careful for me

Just reply "no worries, just pop £150 on a giftcard and we'll say no more about it 🤣"

Thst way you're giving her the chance to show good grace and replace it in a way that is low effort to her but you're making your expectations of replacement clear.

And if she does just sort it out then you can move on without drama. The ball will be in her court.

Has her rubbish been collected? If not get yourself round there with a pair of rubber gloves and see what’s retrievable.

Surely you can go check the bin and make a bit of an assessment on whats survived, I wouldnt just write the whole lot off. If the pouch is closed its probably fine, if a bit melty.
But seriously... surely this is a decent sized pouch, that isnt hers. If it was her own id get accidentally putting it in the bin as it all blurs into one, but its very unusual an alarm bell didnt go off at an unfamiliar object?

I would defo be looking in the bin if I knew they were still in there. Everything in there is self contained

I would be really upset about this OP.
It actually sounds like a really vindictive thing to do.
And yes she should be offering to replace everything. You shouldn't need to ask her to.

They’re genuinely so carefree with their belongings it’s a bit worrying. Things like my dad has previously left an Apple Watch at security in the airport, and while browsing duty free realised he’s done it. Instead of going back for it, he grabbed a new one because it’s “easier”!!!

I just don’t really want to dig through heat baked rubbish when she’s the one who threw it out, and she definitely won’t do that!

Keep bringing it up as an example of why she should be tested for dementia. Then start talking about assisted living. Have a brochure sent to her. Talk about annoying 😠

Yeah it’s grim, for sure, and you have every right to be pissed. But that’s what I would do.