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Did he lie about the snip to stop using condoms?!

213 replies

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 14:30

I'm fuming.

So I've been seeing this guy casually for a bit. We started off using protection, but he kept complaining about it and wanted to do it without. I held my own for a while, told him I was on no contraception (trying to get my hormones to sync naturally after years of the pill) but he said he will get an STD test done for me and that's when I'm sure he said he had the snip also!!

Anyway a bit of time went on, and after a few drinks one night, I gave in.

From there it has seemed we had already broke that boundary so we carried on unprotected, me convinced it's safe because he's had the snip and I also get myself checked.

Anyway fast forward and I find myself PREGNANT.

I tell him about being late on and my worries of falling pregnant (him still unaware of the pregnancy), so I ask him to confirm if he has had the snip. He tells me that's he's been circumsied and not the snip and perhaps I got confused and to just go and take the morning after pill.

Considering it's been months of unprotected sex, it's a bit late to be suggesting that now and why wasn't he worried of this consequence. I also wouldn't be allowing this if I thought there was a risk of pregnancy.

I'm just in shock and confused because all this time I thought he had the snip and now I'm being told otherwise. I wouldn't just make this up in my head but that's basically what he's telling me.

I don't know what exactly I'm looking for on here - perhaps confirmation that this isn't just something I would make up?! Why was I so sure he had the snip? He must have told me but I'm doubting my own mind now.

OP posts:
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FeelingLikeAFaultyNPC · 26/03/2025 14:34

Wow! He knew you weren’t on birth control so absolutely shouldn’t have had unprotected Sex without full discussion re the risks/consequences anyway.
FWIW I don’t think you made it up, I think he lied and is now gaslighting you.
Did you see a print out of his STD results? Because I’d be doubting he’d had those done also.

LollyLand · 26/03/2025 14:35

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. What a lying bastard!! You can’t trust anything he has told you.

Since you were only seeing him casually I don’t think you should have went without condoms but it’s done now so get yourself an STD test asap.

Cognacsoft · 26/03/2025 14:38

I'm sorry this man trampled on your boundaries.
He knew you weren't using contraception and probably uses his 'snip line to mean circumcision and you misunderstood' on all women.
I'd be royally dumping him and deciding if you want a dc or not.

myplace · 26/03/2025 14:40

Ask him what contraception he’s relying on.

Smallmercies · 26/03/2025 15:01

Is it Boris Johnson? Seriously though, what an absolute pig 😡.

ToBeOrNotToBee · 26/03/2025 15:04

Sounds like he has a breeding kink. Some will lie about their fertility to trick women, or remove the condom.
Absolute scum.

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:07

myplace · 26/03/2025 14:40

Ask him what contraception he’s relying on.

I'm going to.. what did he think will happen?!

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LollyLand · 26/03/2025 15:07

I would hold fire on telling him about the pregnancy.

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:10

Cognacsoft · 26/03/2025 14:38

I'm sorry this man trampled on your boundaries.
He knew you weren't using contraception and probably uses his 'snip line to mean circumcision and you misunderstood' on all women.
I'd be royally dumping him and deciding if you want a dc or not.

Yes now I'm in the position in deciding what to do. I think I know what I should do but it's no respect for a women's body that I'm now going to have to go through something traumatic simply because he got his satisfaction met at the time. Ugh

OP posts:
Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:12

LollyLand · 26/03/2025 15:07

I would hold fire on telling him about the pregnancy.

Yea.. I wonder how he will react. Although it shouldn't be a suprise if he knew there was no contraception in place.

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MikeWozniaksMohawk · 26/03/2025 15:12

I’m sorry this has happened to you OP. If he lied about having had the snip then he’s raped you. Sorry to be blunt about it, but he has. Because you didn’t give your consent to having completely unprotected sex with him, and he knew that too given what you’d already told him.

MK19590 · 26/03/2025 15:12

I second the breeding kink thing. I also know of a case where the man used a false identity, got the woman pregnant and then ghosted her exactly at the abortion cut off date

Semiramide · 26/03/2025 15:12

myplace · 26/03/2025 14:40

Ask him what contraception he’s relying on.

What's the point of asking? He'll only lie some more. Why are you even still talking to him, given what a scoundrel he has shown himself to be.

You need to focus on what you are going to do about the pregnancy. And get an STI check.

Edit: sorry - I meant to quote the OP's reply...

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:17

Semiramide · 26/03/2025 15:12

What's the point of asking? He'll only lie some more. Why are you even still talking to him, given what a scoundrel he has shown himself to be.

You need to focus on what you are going to do about the pregnancy. And get an STI check.

Edit: sorry - I meant to quote the OP's reply...

Edited

I only found this out last night and haven't spoken to him since. It's sinking in what's actually happened.
Part of me wants to tell him because it's him that's put me in this position, but I'm also not sure if that's the wisest thing to do..

OP posts:
LollyLand · 26/03/2025 15:17

I would be cutting him out, he could be seeing multiple women and have kids dotted around. Even if he doesn’t he’s not someone to be trusted.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Geesgirl · 26/03/2025 15:17

You're both to blame here.

Uou we're happy to shag someone casually without protection not having had a sti test.

You made these choices yourself.

Fiery30 · 26/03/2025 15:18

It is clear that he is a selfish man who only cares about his needs and is not bothered about the consequences. His callousness is appalling and he has broken your trust completely. However, if you weren't sure about his vasectomy status, you should have made more of an effort to be absolutely sure. There seems to be some laxness on your part too. Unfortunately now, you both are in a difficult, messy situation and only you can decide how you want to proceed.

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:18

Geesgirl · 26/03/2025 15:17

You're both to blame here.

Uou we're happy to shag someone casually without protection not having had a sti test.

You made these choices yourself.

I have had an STI test. I get checked regularly for my own health. It's the pregnancy part that I didn't think was possible due to believing he had the snip.

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Theunamedcat · 26/03/2025 15:22

Unfortunately I know from bitter experience never rely on someone else to prevent a pregnancy

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:24

Fiery30 · 26/03/2025 15:18

It is clear that he is a selfish man who only cares about his needs and is not bothered about the consequences. His callousness is appalling and he has broken your trust completely. However, if you weren't sure about his vasectomy status, you should have made more of an effort to be absolutely sure. There seems to be some laxness on your part too. Unfortunately now, you both are in a difficult, messy situation and only you can decide how you want to proceed.

Perhaps in hindsight I should have checked the vasectomy status rather than just taking his word for it..feeling a bit stupid now that I was so trusting. It never crossed my mind that he would lie about it.

Although now he's telling me it's me who got confused between circumcised and the snip 🙄 sounds like gaslighting as I know the difference and wouldn't have carried on without thinking a form of conception was in place.

OP posts:
Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:26

MK19590 · 26/03/2025 15:12

I second the breeding kink thing. I also know of a case where the man used a false identity, got the woman pregnant and then ghosted her exactly at the abortion cut off date

Wow that's disgusting. Breeding is a big kink but then they don't want the actual result of that..

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Smallmercies · 26/03/2025 15:27

No man would call circumcision the snip. Absolutely none.

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:29

Theunamedcat · 26/03/2025 15:22

Unfortunately I know from bitter experience never rely on someone else to prevent a pregnancy

Yep hard lesson learnt to take control of contraception myself. I guess I believed him and didn't think it was necessary 😩
I was so focused on getting my hormones to balance naturally that I didn't want to go back on anything if I could help it. Obviously this outcome is worse.

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LollyLand · 26/03/2025 15:30

He’s talking nonsense because he knew you were using condoms as your contraception. Makes him sound even more reckless knowing he was circumcised and not snipped.

He will never admit to it so it might be best to stop talking to him. Keep him out of any decision making for now.

Unbelievable27 · 26/03/2025 15:31

Smallmercies · 26/03/2025 15:27

No man would call circumcision the snip. Absolutely none.

Yeah apparently he never said the snip and was only talking about his circumcision and I got confused between the two..

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