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Original poster

Men in relationships going to strip clubs

224 replies

username52111 · 25/02/2023 16:42

I don't mean casually going to strip clubs on a Friday night. I am talking about those men who go to strip clubs as a one off on a stag do or on a lads holiday.

Would it bother you if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband went? That he's parted with cash to enter an establishment to drool over women scantily clad?

I've always thought I'd be done with a man if he did this, but just interested to hear more perspectives as I do hear that some women deem this okay behaviour. Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Mummys · 25/02/2023 20:14

Couldn't give a shit. I trust him,

MargaritMargo · 25/02/2023 20:16

rootsandwings89 · 25/02/2023 20:08

I trust my husband. I don't see it as any different if we were to go to a hen party and there being a stripper there etc. it would be a laugh and that's it.

You’re entitled to be absolutely fine with it. Each to their one.

However male / female strippers are absolutely not the same thing. Totally incomparable.

MargaritMargo · 25/02/2023 20:19

C1N1C · 25/02/2023 18:53

I'd be OK if my wife went because I know she finds it cringe. I actually think she'd feel the same if I did too! As others have said, I think there's a big difference between seedy person trying to get their rocks off, and being dragged along because someone hadn't tried it and wanted company for a night out.

Many have said it is ick etc, but assuming this is a legitimate establishment, could it not also be seen as empowering? These women are hard working, assertive women making a really good pay cheque taking advantage of the pathetic guys around them...

Aaaah the old “it’s empowering” stance.

These are women; often vulnerable women, taking their clothes off for the male gaze.

It doesn’t matter if they earn bank from it and go home feeling happy. For every one “empowered” stripper who does that, there are many, many more who are abused, addicted and damaged by this type of work.

You are completely naive and deluded to buy into the empowerment bollocks - but you’re a man right? Perhaps have a read up on the reality

Grumpybutfunny · 25/02/2023 20:27

I wouldn't have a problem with it and I also wouldn't have a had problem with him being a butler in an apron when younger (would only say no now because DS is school aged).

chanceofpear · 25/02/2023 20:29

I used to be a cool wife and think this was fine. My dh used to tell me about the other husbands who had gone off for a lap dance etc. used to tell me it aas somewhere to go that was still serving late and wasnt interested and thought it was all a bit seedy but i had nothjng to worry about. I was a cool wife and didn't think it was a big deal.

Then i found out he was usung escorts and had a raging cocaine habit.

Men go to these clubs for three reasons

  1. Sex - lots of strippers are also escorts
  1. Drugs - readily avalaible often sold by the girls or the men there.
  1. To debase women generally to watch women basically prostituting themselves for their pleasure.

All vile.

LucyLeave · 25/02/2023 20:30

It would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't be with someone who paid to watch a woman take her clothes off.

Bobbi730 · 25/02/2023 20:44

I know lots of men who have gone once or twice and who haven't really enjoyed it. I went once and found it depressing. When I left, most of the guys left too saying similar. It wouldn't be a deal breaker exactly but I think that on the whole, they are pretty unpleasant places for the women to work and most decent men know that.

matches8 · 25/02/2023 20:46

C1N1C · 25/02/2023 18:53

I'd be OK if my wife went because I know she finds it cringe. I actually think she'd feel the same if I did too! As others have said, I think there's a big difference between seedy person trying to get their rocks off, and being dragged along because someone hadn't tried it and wanted company for a night out.

Many have said it is ick etc, but assuming this is a legitimate establishment, could it not also be seen as empowering? These women are hard working, assertive women making a really good pay cheque taking advantage of the pathetic guys around them...

Wow what a naive statement. For every "empowered" woman there will be multiple others that have been coerced into the lifestyle or have little other choice due to financial struggles.

As for "good wage" well you clearly have no idea...

chazlive · 25/02/2023 20:52

I'm a bloke and I would quickly aprt ways with anyone who suggested this.

BubziOwl · 25/02/2023 20:53

I'd be very cross. I'd lose a lot of respect for him, and also it is just grim and very unattractive to me. I don't like scuzzy men!

Suzi888 · 25/02/2023 20:54

I wouldn’t care. Like women going to a strip bar. I can’t think of anything worse than having a stripper’s arse in my face.

It’s not our kind of entertainment, it just wouldn’t happen. Too old, boring…. whatever.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 25/02/2023 20:56

Doesn’t bother me but I worked in one behind the bar years ago. If the men are daft enough to put up their hard earned cash for a 5 minute fantasy that’s on them .

Fireflies23 · 25/02/2023 21:01

It didn’t bother me when my ex went a handful of times with friends. I figure the women are doing their job. They are the ones in control. I find it a bit leery tbh if men want to do that regularly.

verdantverdure · 25/02/2023 21:07

I don't fancy sad bastards so it's a hard no from me.

Changedmymindtoday · 25/02/2023 21:09

One off stag do fine, but I assume just an observer not partaking.
I would rather he stay with his mates then sit alone somewhere. That’s weird.

I’m ok with that yes.

KateAusten · 25/02/2023 21:16

This is interesting because I saw a thread on here not that long ago where a woman was running through what was planned for a hen do. There was going to be a male stripper, lots and lots of replies and not one person mentioned the fact a stripper was going to be there

Men can't go to a strip club though

matches8 · 25/02/2023 21:25

KateAusten · 25/02/2023 21:16

This is interesting because I saw a thread on here not that long ago where a woman was running through what was planned for a hen do. There was going to be a male stripper, lots and lots of replies and not one person mentioned the fact a stripper was going to be there

Men can't go to a strip club though

I'm assuming that the one woman referenced isn't contributing in this thread though?

matches8 · 25/02/2023 21:34

A previous partner would occasionally go to the strip club after a night out. At the time, I didn't think I had any issue with this. In retrospect I probably thought I should be ok with it because it's "boys being boys".

These days it's a no from me. I couldn't respect a partner leering over women, it's icky and desperate. I wouldn't want a male stripper for the same reasons

emmetgirl · 25/02/2023 21:34

It would be a very big problem for me. Possibly the end of the relationship. Not sure I could get past it.

3kidswouldfinishanyoneoff · 25/02/2023 22:05

I was in Amsterdam last week and went to moulin rouge, it was honestly so boring.

I think there are some women that dislike their partner going to these places as the women have great bodies.

I'd have no problem with my partner going to one but a lap dance would be a no no.

Mark19735 · 25/02/2023 22:36

Visiting a strip club with a bunch of mates whilst out on a stag night is all theatre. It's ritualised 'playing with fire' - a parable about forsaking temptation and is more about the humiliation of the groom than it is about objectifying women. Strippers are playing a role, and on these occasions it's really not about sexual gratification - it's about power and dominance - and it's the woman dominating the man. 'Drooling over women scantily clad' is not what's driving this rite of passage. The very best strippers, by the way, usually aren't particularly young or necessarily all that pretty. They only need to seem desirable for the theatre to work.

AllOfThemWitches · 25/02/2023 22:39

Nah I'd end it unless he was literally forced in or paid a million pounds to go or something. Fuck that.

CountZacular · 25/02/2023 22:56

Emmamoo89 · 25/02/2023 16:43

Wouldn't bother me. Trust my partner

For anyone who says they ‘trust’ their partner, what do you mean by this? Trust them to do or not do what?

Trust them to not look? Trust them not to have a private dance? Trust them to not be aroused or orgasm? Trust them to not sexually assault or take advantage of the women? I don’t really understand what you mean by this.

TrishM80 · 25/02/2023 23:15

Come on, how many of you can honestly say you've never been at at least one event with a male stripper, and thoroughly enjoyed it?!

And women get away with a lot more with a male stripper, in terms of touching, licking, even sex acts, than would ever be tolerated in a women's strip club (not least because there are burly bouncers there who would chuck any man out who crossed the line).

I find both male and female strippers seedy and tacky, but let's not condemn one and defend the other!!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 25/02/2023 23:24

Wouldn't bother me. Someone once bought DH a dance. He found it boring. I trust him 100%