Men in relationships going to strip clubs

[username52111]

I don't mean casually going to strip clubs on a Friday night. I am talking about those men who go to strip clubs as a one off on a stag do or on a lads holiday.

Would it bother you if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband went? That he's parted with cash to enter an establishment to drool over women scantily clad?

I've always thought I'd be done with a man if he did this, but just interested to hear more perspectives as I do hear that some women deem this okay behaviour. Am I missing something?

I also agree. Fed up of people saying that you shouldn't judge anyone or anything. If I think something is morally wrong, I will 100% pass judgement.

Also heard of women penetrating themselves with eg bananas on stag do strip club visits, and women allowing me to perform sex acts on women on stag do strip club visits.

Plus some abroad, as I said, the canaries and eastern Europe I know for sure - are just brothels.

It being occasional on a stag do doesnt male much difference.

People giving opinions really need to actually know what many clubs are like.

You can read reviews of them and get an idea if you have no personal experience.

*women allowing men to perform sex acts on them on stag do strip club visits.

Yes, I did think it odd that you were taking part in these sex acts given your posts 😂

But seriously, yes, that does sounds grim, and a world away from a burlesque style strip!

I worked as a hostess in a strip club in the far east for a few nights. It was very tame.

It also, I usually for here, had male strippers/dancers (an Israeli & Brazilian guy) as well as female. And one transvestite performer.

There were mixed office groups having a laugh but the majority of clients were men and were only interested in the female strippers.

It was a provincial club and I heard much much worse about Tokyo clubs and low rent, cheap, rough clubs; the latter were men were putting in a bet each to "win" sex with one of the strippers/prostitutes from very poor SE Asian countries.

What I've heard re UK and European clubs gax been from men themselves who attended and from reviews. There is a lot of variation. But mostly they are not comparable to male strip/dance shows.

The difference is with many middle aged men .. they'd do worse and the question of whether it's fair wouldn't be raised.

A lot middle aged men from my country visit brothels on golf trips and shag women young enough to be their granddaughters.

Deal-breaker for me and I told my ex-h and next partner after my feelings. To my knowledge neither went while we were together. So why do I feel this way?

Well, for me (and this is only MY opinion) being naked in front of another person is usually for sex or closeness. My partner has me for intimacy - if I'm not enough then fuck him - hes not having both. I find it insulting. And before it's said - I know a lap dance may not be intimate as such but for the man it's a very sexual experience - WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. Which I call cheating.

Well, for me (and this is only MY opinion) being naked in front of another person is usually for sex or closeness. My partner has me for intimacy - if I'm not enough then fuck him - hes not having both. I find it insulting. And before it's said - I know a lap dance may not be intimate as such but for the man it's a very sexual experience - WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. Which I call cheating.

I agree.

It breaks sexual/intimate exclusivity.

Also I think many women dont seem.to realise a true lap dance is grinding. And men often get boobs on their face.

And in some clubs/situations they get body parts more intimate than boobs in their face.

(This was the US but I read on a male dominated forum I used to frequent a guy saying the wedding of his acquaintance hadn't gone ahead because the drunk stag had performed both cunnylingus and analingus on "his" stripper. The problem was his fil to be (invited cause he was young and "cool") was not quite cool enough for that, left and encouraged his dd to cancel the wedding.

All in all I consider strip/lap.dancing clubs to be an attempted Jedi mind trick "it's not cheating cause it's inside these walls and she's paid to do it and does it for anyone who pays .... It would be cheating if is was outside those walls, but inside, it's not".

Must be something real magical about the walls of a lap dancing club.

I think the key is to set boundaries so that he knows that would not be acceptable and wouldn't chance his marriage on it.

@TicketBoo23 What country are you in? 🤢

N.I. but I'd imagine golf trip attenders in Spain & Portugal who frequent the brothels there in the evenings are not limited to only N.I. men.

A gum clinic worker on here said she's tested and treated married men who go to brothels in Spain etc and used usually South American prostitutes.

Wouldn't bother me as a one off. I'd expect him not to get any private dances but wouldn't mind him just being there. They're hardly Aphrodite in most cases... it's not an all out seduction club

Plus, I trust my partner. I know him. He'd be anxious and stressed in a s club. He might enjoy it a bit but he'd start stressing about me and about if any of them were trafficked. He had an awful life experience as a child that makes him very aware of sexual suffering.

He actually once called me from the loo of a strip club at uni. He was panicking. He wanted to know they were all OK. He was scared and spiralling wondering if they needed help. I collected him and he was hyperventilating.

Poor lad. I'm so proud of him. 5/6 of his best mates are women.

Yes my ex was raped by a man which made him so considerate to female suffering, unsleazy, respectful, doesn't objectify.. because he felt like an object to be used. Sad that a horrific encounter with a man is what makes them see.

DH has been to a few on stag dos, doesn't bother me as we have an agreement that he'd never ever pay for a private date, something he said he would never want anyway.

I would not be happy if my dh went to a strip club. Why would I want him to be looking at another women naked and why would I want another women to be rubbing herself all over my dh. If a random women (not getting paid) came up to my husband anywhere else and starting rubbing herself all over him would that be ok? No it wouldn't but cos a women's getting paid for it it's fine. Yeah no not for me. My dh is fine to go and do it but I've wouldn't be together anymore, he also has more respect for me that to do it

Many men can look at naked women online, soebats the difference? For ppl who don’t like their menfolk looking at other women? I don’t see the difference!

Wouldn't bother me at all. I quite enjoy going to see shows like Magic Mike myself so I would be a hypocrit to say it would bother me!

Don't like that either.

Thank you for replying. I couldn't find the right words to explain but your phrase "sexual/intimate exclusively" is precisely what I meant. Your partner sees you at your most vulnerable when you make love = intense feelings: your partner sees another woman's most private parts and that equals a good laugh for the lads?
The Madonna/whore complex is real and it can't be beaten.

Cool. And you know he sticks to this how?

Sleazy. Men that use strip clubs can jog on.