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Original poster

Men in relationships going to strip clubs

224 replies

username52111 · 25/02/2023 16:42

I don't mean casually going to strip clubs on a Friday night. I am talking about those men who go to strip clubs as a one off on a stag do or on a lads holiday.

Would it bother you if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband went? That he's parted with cash to enter an establishment to drool over women scantily clad?

I've always thought I'd be done with a man if he did this, but just interested to hear more perspectives as I do hear that some women deem this okay behaviour. Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 25/02/2023 16:43

Wouldn't bother me. Trust my partner

GyozaGuiting · 25/02/2023 16:44

If DH goes in a strip club then I wouldn’t get too worked up. It’s not great and luckily his friends aren’t like that, but as a one off stag do.

a lap dance would be a line in the sand for me, he wouldn’t want a naked man on top of me either.

Indigoshift · 25/02/2023 16:45

Yes it's a bit gross and seedy. I would lose respect for him. Pathetic

Newusernameaug · 25/02/2023 16:45

I wouldn’t be with someone who would even consider doing this. It’s something I’d look out for a gauge their feelings on early on in a new relationship.

I used to date men who did and I too have been to strip clubs but see things differently these days.

Original poster
username52111 · 25/02/2023 16:47

Emmamoo89 · 25/02/2023 16:43

Wouldn't bother me. Trust my partner

I know that most strip clubs dont let you touch the strippers anyway, and most strippers most likely wouldnt take a client home so the chances of actual cheating are slim in a strip club.

It's more the fact of a partner going somewhere to watch other women half naked. Does that not bother you?

OP posts:
Megifer · 25/02/2023 16:49

Nope, I wouldn't accept this and our relationship would be over.

PauliesWalnuts · 25/02/2023 16:53

I wouldn’t tolerate it and he’d be out the door. He knows I don’t agree with men seeing women as entertainment, and if we had joint finances I wouldn’t be pleased if he’d spent it on a half naked woman shaking her tits about.

HappyKoala56 · 25/02/2023 16:54

DH would go when we were younger. It was an industry thing - whenever there was a leaving do they all clubbed together to buy the leaver a dance. It really didn't bother me 🤷 and he moved sideways from that industry so it hasn't happened in a long time now.

Megifer · 25/02/2023 16:57

Its also a bit of a myth that you can't touch the strippers. That's what private dances are for, generally the bouncers turn a blind eye to touching if the stripper is OK with it. More money spent on more dances, repeat business etc.

I thought most people knew the no touching thing is a load of rubbish?

Emmamoo89 · 25/02/2023 17:01

username52111 · 25/02/2023 16:47

I know that most strip clubs dont let you touch the strippers anyway, and most strippers most likely wouldnt take a client home so the chances of actual cheating are slim in a strip club.

It's more the fact of a partner going somewhere to watch other women half naked. Does that not bother you?

Show quote history

No it really doesn't.

YouJustDoYou · 25/02/2023 17:04

Well, I've been to a (female) strip club but only because it had an all-you-eat-buffet (of the food variety). If my partner went to ogle women, well, no. But if he went because he could eat all the chicken wings and sushi he wanted, well, I'd totally understand.

Strugglingtodomybest · 25/02/2023 17:04

Would it bother you if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband went? That he's parted with cash to enter an establishment to drool over women scantily clad?

Yes, it would bother me, I'd never think of him the same way again. I'd be disappointed that he thought it was ok to pay money to degrade women.

blebbleb · 25/02/2023 17:05

I trust my husband if he was to go to one in a stag night for example. He's not the type that would have the idea of going himself though or want to. It's pretty gross!

gogohmm · 25/02/2023 17:08

Depends a lot on circumstances. Dp tells me that in his old industry (male dominated) it was common to go into them for entertaining, he's now in a parallel industry and it's simply not the case, plus it's 12 years later and things change. For a stag I would be disappointed but to be honest its incredibly unlikely because of our age and his friends, they are more likely to go to a (motorsport) race meet and take sandwiches because the food outlets charge too much (they aren't even that expensive and we are higher income, they are just tight!)

TabooOfNoSex · 25/02/2023 17:08

If they would want to go, by all means.
I have no interest to tell grown person what to do or not do.

About trust/cheating : I’m kind of 50/50 about this. I don’t believe there really are many people out here who are actually loyal, but I’m not going to make myself paranoid, but I won’t trust anyone to not cheat / cross boundaries. And leave if there were evidence.

That all been said.
If they were to go, that would be it. It would mean we break-up.
All ’sex work’ is so misogynistic, and I am pro-women.
Someone who would do something like this wouldn’t be compatible with me, at all.

josuk · 25/02/2023 17:27

Life is too short to be insecure and unhappy at the thought your partner may see another female and find them attractive.

There is a big difference between someone who goes to strip club regularly for entertainment - creepy and pathetic really. And a one-off event, not even planned by your partner. It’s a bit cliche for a bachelor party - but it is a cliche for a reason.

Barely dressed strippers aren’t going to take your partner away from you. No more than almost naked women on a beach during a summer vacation.

if it bothers you - go and see, say, Magic Mike show with girlfriends. As research.
If that experience leads to you wanting to run off with a sexy someone on stage - then yes, strip clubs are a real danger.
But most likely you will see it’s too silly to worry about.

monsteramunch · 25/02/2023 17:33

josuk · 25/02/2023 17:27

Life is too short to be insecure and unhappy at the thought your partner may see another female and find them attractive.

There is a big difference between someone who goes to strip club regularly for entertainment - creepy and pathetic really. And a one-off event, not even planned by your partner. It’s a bit cliche for a bachelor party - but it is a cliche for a reason.

Barely dressed strippers aren’t going to take your partner away from you. No more than almost naked women on a beach during a summer vacation.

if it bothers you - go and see, say, Magic Mike show with girlfriends. As research.
If that experience leads to you wanting to run off with a sexy someone on stage - then yes, strip clubs are a real danger.
But most likely you will see it’s too silly to worry about.

Some of us don't have an issue with it due to jealousy or perceived thread to the relationship though, some of us just think it's a bit pathetic and it makes us cringe.

The idea of a grown man paying to go to a strip club and / or get a dance gives me the ick. I just couldn't respect a man if I knew he chose to do that.

And it gets worse the older a guy gets as the majority of the strippers will be much younger than them and that's a whole other layer of ick.

Each to their own.

Happywife22 · 25/02/2023 17:45

It’s an absolute no for me and I made this clear early on. Hubby’s not the sort to do this anyway but knows I wouldn’t be able to get past it if he did.

BCBird · 25/02/2023 17:58

If it was a weekly fix, then yes I would not be happy. If it was for a stag do etc then no it wouldn't bother me

Pesimistic · 25/02/2023 18:01

No from me

Thisisworsethananticpated · 25/02/2023 18:03

Not my preference

a one off for a stag okay
evey Friday night ? No

Celia24 · 25/02/2023 18:06

No the relationship would be done because I'd be dating a guy who is cool with women being objectified for money.

Bigmummaof2 · 25/02/2023 18:07

Absolutely not! Wouldn’t be happy with it at all! seedy IMO

Booooot · 25/02/2023 18:11

Wouldn’t bother me as I used to work in one but it’s not my husbands cup of tea. He went on a stag do one night and walked back in the door an hour later as they had gone to a strip club in town and he just had zero interest in it.

BulldogSpirit · 25/02/2023 18:27

Nah not for me. It's such a turn off and I always think of the men who frequent them as sad sack losers.

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