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Original poster

Men in relationships going to strip clubs

224 replies

username52111 · 25/02/2023 16:42

I don't mean casually going to strip clubs on a Friday night. I am talking about those men who go to strip clubs as a one off on a stag do or on a lads holiday.

Would it bother you if your boyfriend/fiancee/husband went? That he's parted with cash to enter an establishment to drool over women scantily clad?

I've always thought I'd be done with a man if he did this, but just interested to hear more perspectives as I do hear that some women deem this okay behaviour. Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Hiswife2013 · 25/05/2023 06:54

I love when my husband goes, he doesn’t spend a ton, compliments the ladies then comes home and we have the most amazing sex. I go with him often, I love watching him watch other women. Even my best friend. She’s a dancer, it’s pretty amazing to watch. It most definitely isn’t for everyone though.

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 07:45

Hiswife2013 · 25/05/2023 06:54

I love when my husband goes, he doesn’t spend a ton, compliments the ladies then comes home and we have the most amazing sex. I go with him often, I love watching him watch other women. Even my best friend. She’s a dancer, it’s pretty amazing to watch. It most definitely isn’t for everyone though.

100% you have a penis 😂

BulldogSpirit · 25/05/2023 07:49

100% you have a penis 😂

Totally agree - 100% hairy hands and a flagging dick!

Noicant · 25/05/2023 07:53

Wouldn’t work for me, it’s a bit sad and creepy. Thats not who I think Dh is.

perfectcolourfound · 25/05/2023 07:55

Yes it would bother me.

And it isn't a jealousy or trust issue, as pp suggested. I totally trust my DH and don't think that seeing another naked female body would change his feelings for me.

It's about the fact that I couldn't respect someone who wanted to go in a strip club. I'd look at him differently if he wanted to go. It's seedy, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks women's bodies can be paid for.

Hiswife2013 · 25/05/2023 08:25

You don’t have to pay to stay. Female bodies are beautiful. I also want to see him with my best friend the dancer. As soon as it happens I’ll be back to post our of link 😉

Hiswife2013 · 25/05/2023 08:28

100% female 😉 no hairy hand or whatever flagging dick is, I don’t have that either. Just the desire to see another woman pleasure my husband.

User135644 · 25/05/2023 08:29

Women do similar on hen nights etc.

mydogisthebest · 25/05/2023 08:33

I trust DH totally but still would not be at all happy if he went to a strip club. Thankfully he wouldn't go as he thinks they are tacky.

Men going to one on a stag do is yuk and tacky.

Stepbumpstepbumpbump · 25/05/2023 09:06

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man that found this type of activity appealing - don't like the "wahey!" culture.

However, I couldn't get worked up about a respectful partner joining in with plans made for a stag for example, and I wouldn't have an issue with it.

Not the same, but similarly to how I don't find the naked butler/male stripper thing in any way appealing personally but I wouldn't remove myself from a group event where it was booked.

Remmy123 · 25/05/2023 09:44

My husband went to a strip club with x3 other men and spent £250 - he said it was just drinks - are they THAT expensive or was it a dance? It was a club in London

saw it in our bank account and I went mad - I'm not stupid but a year on he still denies it ..

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 09:47

perfectcolourfound · 25/05/2023 07:55

Yes it would bother me.

And it isn't a jealousy or trust issue, as pp suggested. I totally trust my DH and don't think that seeing another naked female body would change his feelings for me.

It's about the fact that I couldn't respect someone who wanted to go in a strip club. I'd look at him differently if he wanted to go. It's seedy, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks women's bodies can be paid for.

Exactly, all the progress made for womens rights etc and there are still these places taking us back to the dark ages.

SquaresandStarlings · 25/05/2023 10:04

It's a weird one for me as I feel more relaxed about it than my DH!

He had the most wholesome stag do - even my mum was laughing about it, and he turned down one stag do specifically because there was a strip club involved.

He says he could never pay a woman to do something sexual for him.

Aussiegirl123456 · 25/05/2023 10:05

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 09:47

Exactly, all the progress made for womens rights etc and there are still these places taking us back to the dark ages.

Show quote history

Yep.
May as well just give up on trying to gain equality and just exist solely for the male gaze. Or for the wives pick me, pick me who love to see their man being entertained by and purchasing naked women 🙄

Bookworm20 · 25/05/2023 10:35

Well, for me (and this is only MY opinion) being naked in front of another person is usually for sex or closeness. My partner has me for intimacy - if I'm not enough then fuck him - hes not having both. I find it insulting. And before it's said - I know a lap dance may not be intimate as such but for the man it's a very sexual experience - WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. Which I call cheating.

This is my opinion too. It would be a deal breaker for me and the realationship would be over. Nothing to do with trust or jealousy. I just couldn't be intimate anymore with someone who thought this was fine to do in a relationship with me. So that would be it over.

Gigglemous · 25/05/2023 12:24

If its part of a stag then I don't think I'd care.

But its down to what your boundaries are in a relationship. Everyone's opinion is different but it's all about whether your partner agrees with or respects yours.

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 13:03

SquaresandStarlings · 25/05/2023 10:04

It's a weird one for me as I feel more relaxed about it than my DH!

He had the most wholesome stag do - even my mum was laughing about it, and he turned down one stag do specifically because there was a strip club involved.

He says he could never pay a woman to do something sexual for him.

You've got a good one, hang on to him.

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 13:08

@Aussiegirl123456 Mad isn't it, harrassment and rape taken more seriously, touching inappropriately a crime, respecting women and consent etc.. if you compare to the 70s we've come a long way.. yet there are still lapdancing clubs, prostitution, onlyfans, violent porn everywhere etc. How can men truly respect women when all this is okay.. women being bought is normalised. It should all be eradicated. Teenage boys must be really confused.

Queenie23 · 25/05/2023 15:39

It's a weird one, ive been on hen nights and have friends who have gone to see male strippers in clubs, think magic mike but a cheaper version! But its seen as a bit of a laugh and a bit of fun, and yet a guy goes to a strip club and he's a creep or a perv. We have these odd double standards. Ive witnessed women literally grope these guys invading their personal space. And these are women with partners and maybe the excuse is well they were drinking but really?

I think personally it depends. If he goes to a club for a stag and drinks with mates and watches a few dances from the stage i wouldnt be massively bothered. If he bought a private dance in some back room then i wouldnt be happy. Its each to their own though and whatever rules you have with your significant other that matters, not what strangers on the internet think is wrong or right. Communicate and set boundaries and you wont go far wrong.

sweettooth22 · 25/05/2023 16:17

Emmamoo89 · 25/02/2023 16:43

Wouldn't bother me. Trust my partner

It's not about trusting your partner tho is it . It's about him going to a strip club getting turned on by other naked women! It's disgusting,

guineacup · 25/05/2023 17:20

It's not about trusting your partner tho is it . It's about him going to a strip club getting turned on by other naked women! It's disgusting,

It might be disrespectful to you and fuelling an abusive industry etc. but it's natural not "disgusting" for a man to get turned on by other naked women.

However, as a man, I don't really see the attraction. It's like going to an all you can eat buffet but you can't eat any of it... And to extend the buffet analogy, a private dance is like someone wafting a bit of gateau right in front of your hungry mouth but not letting you eat it, or perhaps letting you have a tiny bite but nowhere near enough to be satisfying, then taking it away after a few minutes.

Why? Even if your a lust filled man, or perhaps especially if you're a lust filled man, why? The hornier you are, the more tormented you would become!

I've never been to one btw, though have seen seedy strip shows in Tenerife bars/clubs when on lads holidays in my 20s.

guineacup · 25/05/2023 17:28

So actually, the more I think about it, going to these clubs isn't really anything about satisfying a sexual urge, but about lording it over women, the power of being able to command them to take off their clothes, to do intimate things. It's all about the ability to exploit and feel like a big and powerful. It's as unpleasant as it is unsexy...

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 17:29

guineacup · 25/05/2023 17:20

It's not about trusting your partner tho is it . It's about him going to a strip club getting turned on by other naked women! It's disgusting,

It might be disrespectful to you and fuelling an abusive industry etc. but it's natural not "disgusting" for a man to get turned on by other naked women.

However, as a man, I don't really see the attraction. It's like going to an all you can eat buffet but you can't eat any of it... And to extend the buffet analogy, a private dance is like someone wafting a bit of gateau right in front of your hungry mouth but not letting you eat it, or perhaps letting you have a tiny bite but nowhere near enough to be satisfying, then taking it away after a few minutes.

Why? Even if your a lust filled man, or perhaps especially if you're a lust filled man, why? The hornier you are, the more tormented you would become!

I've never been to one btw, though have seen seedy strip shows in Tenerife bars/clubs when on lads holidays in my 20s.

Here comes the man 🤢

guineacup · 25/05/2023 17:53

@QueefQueen80s

Here comes the man 🤢

And? 😂

What's objectionable about what I wrote?

QueefQueen80s · 25/05/2023 17:58

Everything. Men like you really don't see how you come across.