If you found a vibrator in your DH’s drawer...

[Applesarenotoranges]

Specifically, if you found 2 new vibrators, an enema and already knew about a butt plug.

None used with you...

What would you think?

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I'd think he likes it up the bum.

That he got bored of the but plug?

That he likes putting stuff up his ass... 😳 it would worry me

I’d hope it had a flared base.

An enema? I'd think 🤮

No different to women keeping them, you don't have to be gay to like bum play

So let me ask questions 2 & 3.

How would it make you feel?

What would you do?

I’d think that I needed to talk to him, have the conversation and then take it from there

I’d be surprised as I’d expect DH to mention to me if he’d purchased sex toys, but I wouldn’t be worried. I’m not sure I’d feel the need to bring it up.

Enjoying anal play isn’t a sign of being gay, all men have a prostate gland

In the same way that I don’t know that DH would feel the need to raise it with me if I’d bought a new vibrator.... I mean usually I’d mention it to him. But if he said ‘what’s this about?’ I’d be a bit ‘eh?’

@Applesarenotoranges

So let me ask questions 2 & 3.

How would it make you feel?

What would you do?

You already knew he liked anal stimulation because of the butt plug. Have you used it together?

I'd ask to be involved if that's his thing.

If I'd found them and wasn't aware that he was into sex toys, I think I'd be a bit concerned, more that he had not felt he could be open with me than anything else, but also I would wonder what else he might have hidden from me. If on the other hand I knew he was into that, and had happily married him knowing that, I'd more likely wonder how much they cost (but that's mostly because money is tight for us at the moment). I don't see it as any different to a woman using vibrators.

It would make me feel a little surprised if it wasn’t something he’d ever given any indication of wanting to try before. And I’d ask him about it by saying I’d found the things when I was clearing up or looking for X or whatever and was it something he wanted us to try together. Then follow his lead.

As previous posters have said, a man enjoying anal play is no weirder than a woman enjoying it.

Dolly. This is what I’m wondering. He says it’s for his prostate. Why didn’t he just buy a prostate massager?

The secrecy seems odd for us, it’s surprising it wasn’t mentioned. I don’t want to pry, to an extent it’s his ‘thing’.

I wouldn’t think much of it at all if I already knew about the butt plug. I’d probably find it funny tbh. The question is op, how does it make YOU feel?

Thistooshallpass He’s never used nor talked about any of the toys with me. I found the butt plug on a different occasion but didn’t mention it.

@Itsjustabitofbanter

I wouldn’t think much of it at all if I already knew about the butt plug. I’d probably find it funny tbh. The question is op, how does it make YOU feel?

I feel a little sad that he hasn’t been able to share it with me (we have talked about fantasies) and a bit concerned about the secrecy.

Did anal play come up when you talked about your fantasies?

@DryHeave

I’d hope it had a flared base.

Haha, as someone who almost had an unretrievable object up their ass I heartily subscribe to your suggestion. (I had to attend A&E)

No. Although to be fair, he wasn’t as open with the info as I was

You found a butt plug in your husband's drawer and didn't mention it

Why ever not? Seriously, why would anyone not discuss such a find?

He’s obviously using them while masturbating. If it were my DP I’d be very surprised as I’ve bevwr been allowed near his ass with my finger. But it really comes down to how your relationship/sex life is as to whether this is indicative of something more.

@ohoneohtwo

You found a butt plug in your husband's drawer and didn't mention it

Why ever not? Seriously, why would anyone not discuss such a find?

I thought about mentioning it, but decided to wait for him to discuss it with me. I assumed it didn’t matter too much to mention it. Maybe I should have. I don’t know.

Your dh likes things up his bum. Many men do, many men don't. I think the secrecy would concern me and I'm not sure what I'd do if I walked into the room and him shoving a vibrator up his arse. How does he even manage that? I'm thinking lying on his back legs around his head. Or does he have long arms that can reach around. So many questions. Maybe ask him? He might want you to role play been a man as a fantasy or he might just like the feeling of it and he's hoping you'll help him out.

I feel a little sad that he hasn’t been able to share it with me (we have talked about fantasies) and a bit concerned about the secrecy.

Maybe he didn’t share because of the assumption that men who like that are gay. As PPs have immediately said it would worry them or gross them out, I can see why he wouldn’t say anything. It’s no different to ‘standard’ masturbation to be honest.