If you found a vibrator in your DH’s drawer...

[Applesarenotoranges]

Specifically, if you found 2 new vibrators, an enema and already knew about a butt plug.

None used with you...

What would you think?

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Or he’s read something or watched porn which says enemas can also be pleasurable and wanted to give it a try?

He’s pretty unlikely to be keeping his toys in a drawer in the house if he’s bought them to use in hotels with his secret gay lover.

How does he even manage that

Lie on side, pull knees up into foetal position, lube and insert.

Or

Lie on back, pull knees up, split them to the side, lube and insert.

HTH. I have zero experience, honest

Maybe he wanted them to be found???

I’d assume he was using hook up sites to shag men.

Maybe he would be worried about what you think of him? if he's shy like you say. I'd talk to him about it, see if he will be open to let you explore them with him

As someone who worked in an adult store I will say he likes his prostate played with

What would concern me is the enema as that would suggest a partner’s involvement

Had it been no enema would not be concerned but due to it would watch out & be mindful of having safe sex with him until you learn more

Can I ask does he ever try to play with You back there or is he known to be a butt man ?

Or does he encourage you to to play with him there ?

I will say a lot of men who go out of their way to hide bisexuality & present as a straight male often have homophobic mentality - does he ever use derogatory terms for gay people ?

You have relations with him so if anything odd or jumps out at you here?

I am not trying to be alarmist - he could be giving himself an enema then using a vibrator but men will be men & often don’t care if it gets “messy” in a solo act

But any mess in a situation where someone else is in on the act is very embarrassing

I'd be most taken aback - because he's not into anything like that at all. So I'd immediately ask him what they were for and why. I'm struggling to imagine it but I'd just ask him and that would be that

There's a lot of homophobia/biphobia in this thread honestly.

So what if your husband's also attracted to men? It doesn't mean he's going to cheat because he wants stuff up his arse. I would only be concerned that he feels he can't be open about this with me, but a fake penis doesn't mean he's cheating at all.

I'm sort of annoyed that an implied attraction to men on here instantly means people jump to the conclusion that he's cheating with men. If he had a fleshlight, would it mean he's cheating with a woman? Loads of guys perform enemas on themselves.

I'm a bit about the enema. Just go for a poo and then wash the toy when it's done (as you would anyway) Dh and I use them sometimes, never had it come out covered in shit.

I also think it's weird that he hasn't tried to share it with you. I would wonder if he was sharing them with someone else.

I recently did some PSW (no judgements) and SOME of the male straight callers (middle aged/mature) were into alot of butt fantasies. Usually it was being done to them by a woman or on occasion another man. I think his taste may have changed but he could be embarrassed to share it. I would be shocked as before my PSW I was quite sheltered but if he was honest I would try to understand it/get involved if comfortable.

Prostate massaging?

He sounds embarrassed or shy to me. It's not really a big deal though and everyone's entitled to a bit of privacy .. unless you fancy pegging him then you know, bring that up and see what happens

I know a bit about toys and stuff and would be suspicious TBH.

If the vibrators are normal ones for women I don't think men will use them for anal play- smaller ones designed specifically for anal are fairly easy to find and buy.

I also don't think people would use an enema just for sex with themselves IDK.

But definitely I think he'd be unlikely to use normal vibrators on himself.

On the other hand, if he's using some of this stuff on other women, I think he'dve hidden it better.

@whatdidyousee I mean, TMI, but if you use a butt plug before an enima than you might loosen some stuff you didnt know was there and pulling out the butt plug is like popping a cork. Everywhere. Deffo clean out before over a toilet.

@MooseBeTimeForSummer

Prostate massaging?

That’s what he said. Would he use a vibrator for that?

@NoMoreDickheads

Anal vibrators are a thing.

From a medic point of view.

Butt plug -suggests he either wanting to put him up himself or up you / someone else male or female during a sex or wank. No issue.

Two new vibrators -butt plug isn't pleasurable enough or wants more feeling in hia anus during wank -or sex. Why two? Buy one get one half price.

Enema - this is not a wank -he wouldn't care especially in the hotel whilst away -this is him to clean himself up before having sex with someone. You don't use a butt plug or vibrator during sex and come out covered in poo.

The fact that he takes them away with him -rather than just a wank -he really needs or enjoys the butt plug during sex. Not asking you or wanting you to do when you have told him you know -weird.

So even though I want to give him the benefit of the doubt -in this case I'd say hook up in hotel with either a man or woman willing to do it actively.

Would he use a vibrator for that?

Yeah, the best access to the prostate is through the ass.

You don't use a butt plug or vibrator during sex and come out covered in poo.

Never had them totally covered, but I've definitely seen butt toys or gloves with streaks of crap. It just happens sometimes and some people just do more to avoid that. My spouse and I use condoms over his butt sex toys to make cleaning easier, but I imagine some people on this thread would be even more concerned if there were condoms rather than an enema kit.

The fact that he takes them away with him -rather than just a wank -he really needs or enjoys the butt plug during sex. Not asking you or wanting you to do when you have told him you know -weird.

If a woman took a vibrator away, rather than just wank, would you say the same?

Some of the posts on here make me feel really sad for any men in the posters lives.

So much suspicion.

I wouldn't see the problem if he'd have discussed his desires with me earlier.

Um...to be honest I would wonder if he was bi/gay.

Just say what are these for then! Maybe he wants you to find them lol

@lockdownalli

Um...to be honest I would wonder if he was bi/gay.

This is internalised homophobia though, isn’t it - that “real men” i.e. straight ones wouldn’t dream of touching or putting anything near their bum because that’s gay.

Are women who enjoy receiving oral sex or using toys which simulate it (like the very popular Womanizer) secretly lesbians?