If you found a vibrator in your DH’s drawer...

[Applesarenotoranges]

Specifically, if you found 2 new vibrators, an enema and already knew about a butt plug.

None used with you...

What would you think?

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Do you think he might have them in the hope that you would be interested in a bit of fun? Maybe he's too shy to say?

It's not the specifics of it all that would worry me, rather than that he is not sharing this side of things with you. For me, sex toys are for couple play in the main in a healthy relationship. Not ruling out solo use of course, especially with people working away etc, but for you to know nothing about them and him not to ever discuss it with you or use them as part of your sex life together on occasion seems weird, and worrying, to me.

I would be reassessing my marriage, and him quite frankly, it is a secret and implies a secret sexual side to him that he is not sharing with you.

I would have asked him outright with the vibrator in my hand, and would get to the bottom of it pretty quickly.

The first thing I thought when I read your post, if I was in your position is to get an STI and a blood test, sorry but instinctively I would be doing this asap. I hope it turns out to be okay op.

If I found sex toys in my husbands drawer that he sometimes too away on work trips k would be worried he was having an affair especially since you said he was secretive with them

I feel so sorry for this guy, having read some responses on here, it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad... The bloke just wants some alone time to do himself up the bum! That does not make him a cheater, gay, bisexual or some sort of deviant

How big was the butt plug op?
If it was quite big then he's been doing this a long time .

I totally second @ArthurMorgan

He's bored, he has time on his hands and he's a little bit embarrassed about it. If I were OP I'd open a conversation about introducing into the bedroom. It would only be an issue for me if he refused because I would suspect then he was hiding something, and then would wonder why etc

I've also experienced men who loved having their prostrate massaged. One was bi, the other straight. So no it's a very old fashioned assumption he's gay

You can't just start on a big one, you have to move up in sizes gradually.

mrs

nd he would find it painful, have you ever found any blood on his undercothes or bedlinen?

@pigeon999

mrs

I’m be wondering what was going on as well, in the same way as @pigeon999.

it is a secret and implies a secret sexual side to him that he is not sharing with you.

Uh, don't we all have secret sexual sides we don't share? I have fantasies (and sexy fiction) I've never shared with DH. So what? We're all entitled to our private erotic lives even from a spouse. And this thread has amply demonstrated why a man might be nervous to bring this up with a partner. (Do people think gay men have some kind of special different gay anatomy that makes anal stimulation good for them but not for straight men?)

@bengalcat

An enema would clear out his butt to reduce/ negate the risk of poo on his toys on removal

Boak. That would put me off straight away 🤢🤢🤢🤢

He may have done himself an injury , poor thing , he needs to be careful. I hope you are careful to make sure he is cleaning them properly , nasty, especially as you can spread Covid with faecal spread.
www.medpagetoday.com/infectiousdisease/covid19/85315
there are many other research papers about it .

Um...to be honest I would wonder if he was bi/gay.

Why? He doesn't fancy men, he just wants his G-spot stimulated.

I would think, ‘where are the suitcases ?’ , then I’d stick his toys in them along with the rest of his stuff.
I hate secrets, once the trust has gone.......

He's probably been using them when he masturbates........bit odd not to mention it but maybe he just gets embarrassed.

If they were in his bedside drawer he wasn't being that secretive really, I'm always rooting through my OHs drawer.

I'd think it was disgusting.

I don't get the "once the trust is gone" stuff. He didn't hide them and he's explained them when OP asked. That's not particularly secretive, and even if it were I don't recall the part of my marriage ceremony where I was required to announce every erotic thought I'd ever had and ask permission before I bought a sex toy.

Everyone speculating wildly about your DH, from being gay to playing away, is utterly ridiculous and has no foundation in anything but guess work. If you want to know more, talk to him. If you don’t, shut the draw and move on. Some people on here are absolutely bonkers, including the person who thought enemas were for clearing out sperm! WTF?! 😂

I would also feel a bit sad and worry about our relationship that he feels he has to keep some of his sexual needs and preferences secret.

I'd think it was something he felt he couldn't talk to me about, and left them for me to find.
He obviously likes anal, me be gay, bi, or just enjoy it.
I'd be upset he'd not discussed it tbh, and wonder what else he was hiding. The deceit would be enough for me, I think as you have to be able to trust each other.

you could buy an enormous strap on and see what he made of that

Many men feel that anal is very much a gay thing. Also not every lady is accepting of anal play and there are many who think of it as gay.
I myself have tried a vibrator while masturbating but have never spoken of it to my wife and it jas never, while pleasurable, become a regular thing I do.
OP's husband seems to be very into it and might have fantasies of pegging. If OP bought a strap on and left it where DH could find it she might get a pleasant response.