Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 7

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Why would you look stupid?

Amitola, I'm here listening.

Dotty, that's shit.

Offred, hope you're feeling better.

Thinking of you all. Sorry you're struggling, Offred, Amitola and dotty. I must head off to bed now but I just wanted to check in and say I hear you. I'll be around tomorrow if any of you need to talk again.

Need to sleep. Don't want to go upstairs

Why not Offred?

Don't know. Really just don't want to go upstairs. Want to be by myself, don't want to sleep in the bed or with DH. Don't know why

Just been on phone to sister she thinks it's dodgy that he's allowed out of the country as she said he could leave the country and not come back after all they go missing in this country.

That's worrying dotty. Could you contact someone about it?

Could you sleep on the couch tonight Offred?

I am positioning myself on the couch but I'm going to have to go to bed because I'll just have no sleep on the tiny uncomfortable couch. I really feel like I can't take anymore of this feeling bad. I don't even know what's going on.

Do you find nights tend to be worse than the daytime Offred?

After the children go to sleep and on bad days starts shortly before DH due home and then I switch off and he deals with the children and I feel shit hiding in bed not caring about any of them only my self pity.

Was coming through the real low point of yesterday as well hopefully all my real extreme low points in future will recover as quickly. Need to get over the feeling that people only buy me if they want something now DD1's birthday's over I'm relaxed again was sudden realisation that her birth triggered so many problems in my life [not blaming her at all]

Think I'm going to phone tomorrow just don't want to look totally stupid.

I don't think you'll look stupid dotty, I think it's a valid concern.

It sounds like you're really dipping into depression Offred. It's a horrible horrible place to be.

Offred I spent most of yesterday on my bed in fact the last 8 months I've spent hours in my bedroom wasting away. 9 Months today that I reported it to police how weird is that?

Don't think you will look stupid dotty why would you? Perfectly reasonable to be upset that they have allowed someone accused of a serious crime to leave the country before trial.

He's actually been charged Offred 19 counts 8 of rape all specimen as they know its at least 1 per year cant put a figure on mine its triple figures

Also they family have probably tried to keep it secret.

Totally will not look stupid for asking dotty, totally will not.

Going to have to bite the bullet I think. So tired.

Night Offred x

If your on about IT's family keeping it secret his wife knows she took him down to be charged 2 months ago

Goodnight Offred, I hope you manage to sleep.

I'd better head off too. Do ring, dotty, if only to set your mind at rest.

Goodnight all