Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 7

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

DS told them they were being offensive and they shut up, they had a gig to do and didn't stay afterwards. They're not welcome back, I won't speak to them again. The worlds full of knobs and ds is being strongly influenced. Need to move, again. The abusive girl was back last night aswell So spoke to her parents to tell her to stay away. I've truly fucked up as a parent.

and taken over the thread again.

No you haven't Natural I'm bad for doing that me me me at times very selfish of me.

On a nice note we've been adopted by a 3 legged cat keeps coming to the van he's a gorgeous light ginger DH went and gave him milk feeling we won't get rid of him now.

NN, that sounds very difficult, no wonder you are all over the place. Do you think the ADs will help? I was on them a while, they certainly helped me cope with some of the shit the world was throwing at me.
I'm glad your DS told them to stop, why do you think you've fucked up? You haven't taken over the thread at all, rant as much as you need to.

Cailin, thanks, I just have some guilt issues with regard to the r at 17, mostly things I know I shouldn't feel guilt over. My counsellor told me to think of it in terms of control, what I could control and what I couldn't.. and that's really helped me see that what I did, or didn't do doesn't really matter, because I wasn't the one in control. The choices I made and the things I did were to help myself in a situation I was forced into, so I shouldn't blame myself. It's helped loads, but left me feeling a little conflicted, like I'm arguing with myself about anger with them and anger with myself. I am desperate for counselling Friday, I really need to talk to him more.

I get what you mean chips. It's great that you're keen to go to counselling, it means that it's really starting to help and that you're getting something out of it. I know it's frustrating when you need to talk and the sessions are so short and far apart. You can always talk here if you think it'll help.

NN, so sorry to hear things are so rough at the moment. It really sounds to me like your DS is just being a normal teenager. I know it's disappointing but I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you. What do you think?

Chips hope your counselling goes well I admire you having a male counseller coundnt envisage myself doing that.

Chips, sorry, I missed your post.

Ds and I've just had another argument, he did tell them off and has apologised.

Sorry for derailing, heads just not with it.

No, I'm upset as ds seems to be surrounding himself with people who don't give a shit, who hurt him and he accepts it. His friend attacked her mum last night, his gm didn't want to see him, his mates make stupid ass comments and have no respect, I freefall through life never getting anything right. I want to turn my life around and make things better but I can't do it, I can't see anyway other than out.

Chips, glad your councelling is good.

NN, a lot of teenagers make bad choices WRT friends. Could you talk to him about it?

Natural he's had lots to deal with the rebuff off your darling mother must of been hard for him but tbh he's probably better without her she causes you so much stress better he realises now than when he's older have nephews and they've all come good bar one little ignorant shit.

Nearing full again Cailin

Yep, we're talking it out and tbf ds didn't hear it but did say he was disappointed in them. I just don't want it in my home and need to keep here "safe" which is my issue. I wasn't bad when they were little but they're fully grown men now and 1 really was out of order when ds wasn't there and ds probably wouldn't get to see that side anyway. I don't know what to say though? a friend had a similar problem with her ds's friend but that stopped when he punched her in the face. at least he's "safe" here

Dotty, I know, he flipped at me for her not wanting to see him, she turned up when he wasn't there, which she planned by asking him and he said it was my fault, I know it's been a shit week for him and I'm angry because I want to punch my mother and ds's friend. He's lashing out at me as I'm the closest, we both just need someone else in our family, things were easier when we had our cat I'm just too skint atm to get another. Gah, it's only the start of the holidays too.

Ahhh, I've crashed the fred and now ds has told me off for randomly bursting out with "aaaaaeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyooooooo"

Chips, hope you're ok.

Cailin, well done on the job and baby, so exciting.

Dotty, aww adopted kitty, how lovely.

Thanks for listening to my brain vomit, I perhaps need to stop bottling up stuff and get a pet

been out to dinner the 3 of us to local pub was nice

was in a bookshop this afternoon was a whole row of true life abuse books really freaked me out was in asda last weekwith DD2 talking to a friend and DD2 was on about getting a couple of them friend told her not a good time I'd just told her about it thinks i've done a brave thing we met at pre-natal class when I was expecting the eldest and she her 2nd

Part 8 is here for when this thread fills up.

How is everyone today?

Fine here waiting for DS to wake up to get his cards all 2 of them

:( dotty. I'm sure he'll be pleased all the same.

He doesn't really understand about the significance it upsets me more he'll get a card tomorrow off his grandma and grandad and possibly aunt and uncle but he was happy he had lasagne for breakfast

Lasagne for breakfast! A man after my own heart!

Ohhhh Lasagne, I could just eat that! Happy Birthday to your son Dotty, I hope you are all having a good day.

How are you doing Cailin?

I'm ok, visited my parents which went better than usual.

Dotty, with regards to having a male counsellor, I actually chose him, he's a Christian leader too, which was important to me, but it may sound strange, but I actually feel safer with men.. if I trust them. It was crucial that when I talked about this finally, that it was with a man I could feel safe with.. weird maybe?

How are you doing today NN?

I'm bloody tired and feeling quite nauseous a lot of the time. The joys of pregnancy! DH does try but sometimes I feel he's a bit oblivious and I get a bit mad at him The hormones make me very angry!

We'd better move to part 8, here

Happy 18th Birthday to Dotty's ds

Hope today is better than yesterday
And tomorrow is better than today
Eat, drink and be merry
For it only comes once a year

Best wishes from everyone here

[presents] [jelly + ice cream]

What! any excuse for jelly