Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 4

[CailinDana]

The first three parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Dotty - is the victim impact statement compulsory? What is it used for?

Oh god, yes she is.
I've just got to a point of feeling like a ruddy idiot, all that over nothing and now I feel like that for being so oblivious. I suppose that's the downside to not thinking about it is, you don't think about it. I think we will have to have a rainy day, tv, cuddle fest (as if she'll mind) and just keep it all as calm as I'm attempting to get. It's awful, I cried due to an injury once and she was so worried & upset - the thought of making her upset starts a whole recursive clusterfark. I'll have to unpuff before the older ones get home. I am angry but it feels constructive and not destructive and unfocussed. It's okay. I'm okay and they are all ok. I've phoned GP and will see about emailing rape crisis if I can't find another place, I don't want to take a person away from a real emergency. I think my brain is back online. I can just take my time to come to terms with it. Thank you for letting me ramble

And now to top it orf I've broke the thread Sorry. I c&pd the top bit so apologies if it reads weirdly.

Hope everyone gets over ok?

Hi Avalon, Dotty.

Nic, how you doing?

Cailin, haha I've been grounded by a tummy bug :o

Mind you tummy bugs are a good excuse for a day in bed Nic?

sorry xpost Nic, glad you phoned the gp, I think with kids they're ok if you explain a bit and reassure them you're ok and will get better and nothing wrong with the older ones spoiling mum a bit too!

Cailin its for them to see what damage he's done can determine how long a sentence he gets never had them years ago just went on evidence will be hard but needs doing.

Will be nice to see her again last time I say her I was a nervous wreck and clothes where falling off me I'd lost so much weight was really ill heading back to anorexia.

Nic I cut my ties with my abuser when eldest was nearly 4 never made the link until reading a fabulous book that was recommended and discussed it with my counseller she said it was extremely common xx

Having read previous thread I know what a tough time you're having dotty - I can't imagine how stressful the VS will be but you can do it because looks how much you've done so far - more than me certainly. You are incredibly brave, as everyone on this thread has proved to be. You are all remarkable and inspirational. However you feel I hope you see how much your speaking is helping other people.

I'm ok. Shell shocked but ok. Taking onboard all advice.

I'm 28 I was abused by my father from ?forever it seems like, certainly there are whispers now that it was early onset. He was just so wrong he was an alcoholic & abuser of everytype - raping or molesting me or throwing me down stairs, locking me in the understairs cupboard and so manipulative. Letting his pub mates have free access to me. I'm purely lucky that I was well rid before my children came along and was already on the mend. I told him to sling his hook at 13 and at 16 had the courage to break away completely forever. But I wasn't brave enough to do anything about him...he's just out there somewhere, if he isn't dead. I had a lot of therapy, just immediately I wanted rid of everything, to rip him off me like a plaster. I feel lucky to be generally and normally ok.
I'm not as brave as you dotty & admire you so much.

But yes, the DCs may well be malteaser fetchers this afternoon but I'm either ok or numb enough to be feeling ok. I'm not sure which. But onwards and upwards - nil desperandum, I refuse to get shaken out of my tree, I won't.

Nic, you too are so wonderful and brave, I hope you read back and apply that to yourself, we have all survived hell and come out the other side, I hope you find support here and continue your fight to not let the bastards win.

What happened to you was horrendus, you have such strength to come through that and make a good life for yourself.

Sorry need to disappear to toilet, way tmi, sorry

Ugh tummy bugs are the pits coffee, I hope you're better soon.

I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better Nic. A quiet afternoon sounds like a very good idea. I'm so sorry to read about what happened to you, it is just awful :(

I wish you could have a pee for me - this duvet is toasty and my stairs seem so very many!

Reading it doesn't seem like me. It's a different me altogether. This me is not specially brave and channels her energies into making sure we have certain coffee mugs and the right type of spoon. I also make far too many cakes!

Ummm well if you have far too many cakes...I could certainly help with that

Ohhh missed that bit. Twit. In which case may you have bountious aloe vera wipes on hand. Poor you, rotten. Please ignore my post then! I have Crohn's and often have a poorly tum I can empathise. Sudocrem if you don't mind me saying is a faithful friend in times of need.

We currently have a surfeit of cupcakes and muffins because so many people cried off of an event due to bad weather. The saddest part is I can't bring myself to eat them because some have little sticky finger marks, poked holes or dubious rifled edges. DCs & Dh don't seem to have any fear of the biological bredding ground that is ours and other's DCs. I know where mine have been that's bad enough

If I could make you all a cake I would but logistically unviable sadly.

Oooh another cakey poster :o we love cakey posters, I'm going to try and entice everyone with a black forest gateau when I don't have the lurgy

My bio father has chrons, it awful, you have my deepest sympathy and I'd avoid the funny cupcakes :o

Thanks Cailin, hugs.

sorry for spelling mistakes.

I heart Black Forest Gateau so much! I can't have too much cow dairy and it has often come down to the choice between cake and black coffee or a normal latte style and a heathful fruit...I frequently drink my coffee black!

Hope you feel better soon Coffee - hopefully it's a 2 day then completely over thing. Sending plenty of chicken soup your way. And lucozade, it'll rot the bottom of a tank and I can't get over the taste but cheaper than dioralyte.

Get well soon coffee I'm like that with IBS have a radar key can be that bad I can't walk or leave the house.

Be back making cakes next week me thinks got some new ideas to try out. Always take pics now.

Nic what you went through is horrendous I often think mine wasn't that bad as there's so much I can't remember and only by one person unlike so many others like yourself. I don't see myself as brave at all especially the times I crumble and wish I'd done nothing because of the affect its had on me. XxX

I was just walking past when somebody mentioned there was cake available!?

Please do tell where (as I need to erm have an excuse to go jogging tomorrow.) It's motivation: eat and then jog. Don't lose any weight, but it makes me feel good

I like your regime Avalon, I think I shall adopt it post haste :)

NicNoc How awful You are amazing you know. To have come out of such a terrible time and still be a lovely person, good mother, good wife. You say you're not brave, but I think you are tremendously brave by my book.

Haha, there is no other life philosophy Avalon :o

I don't have cake but have put pics of missymoo the cat on my profile just before she died was going to put the view from my sick bed but it's glorious sunshine and might make the rain trodden lot jealous

Aww she's lovely Coffee. When did she die? :(

MissyMoo looks lovely and cuddly Coffee. I love cats, but am asthmatic and very severely allergic to anything with fur. Just touching a cat and then my face causes it to puff up quite dangerously. It's a huge bummer.

Cailin, valentines day this year reeaally miss her because she was a sook.

Avalon, aw, they do bald cats though :o called sphinxs, would suit you. I'm still finding fur.

Just for Avalon though everyone needs to see

sphynx-kitten