mmm I can sort of see what you mean Amitola, I havent really thought much about that tbh
just back from first therapy session, quite intense and exhausting but your point about 'there was no hope of them ever truly apologising for what they did' kept coming up in my session again and again and how even if I now find the voice that I never felt I had during childhood/adolescence, that any words I would say to them wouldnt make a damn bit of difference
but my sister, just spoken to her, reckons that actually, in their lives, parents who have done stuff like that to their kids will face difficulties of all sorts, unlinked to us, but just daily life may be 'made' somehow more difficult - karma if you will, or the grace of God, whatever you believe it, there is no way on this earth that these people will have an easier life than us, having CHOSEN to do what they did all those years ago, for such a long time too - i think that bamboo stick stayed behind the sofa for 5 yrs FFS stupid stupid idiot mother
eugh
but printed out an edited version of my initial post on this thread to update therapist on what i thought the flashbacks were coming from. She validated me - yes, it was abuse. And said I should develop my writing more, she was impressed??? but i told her it was easier for me to write than speak, hence the whole issue with my voice not feeling valid in childhood, so writing better for me.
She also did an amazing meditation at the end, a part of it was where we should feel if a panic is coming over us, to feel our feet rooted in the earth below us, we are strong, we are not drifters at the mercy of those who tried to control us in the past.