The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

I am an admin for one of these pages, I have been called a Nazi and a Fascist this week, awesomeness.

Kids throwing stones at cars and generally being shits is the order of the day. It will soon move into firework complaints getting ugly.

Parking. Always parking.

Garden fires make everyone bats shit crazy here. Especially is the sun is shining.

Dog pooh not being picked up.

Some one has broken in to the abandoned rectory.

Another sing along song for Xmas

A sparrow hawk in someone’s garden

People being told off for advertising their business not on the specific weekly ad post

the admin took a selfie of a rook which landed on his arm during a dog walk.

Firework complaints.

And not being allowed to buy a kettle in Tesco.

Someone's dumped10 bin bags down a country lane.

Pumpkin competitions and food banks- not a bad lot really

local hippies dressing up and performing street art with no social distancing. Kids littering. Oh, and one thread rumbling on from someone who claims she was driven out of her home by gossips. Apparently, she's going to the papers.
And parking.
Oh.....and fireworks.
Oh, and an argument about calling someone Karen.

we need to get out more!!

We're not allowed to talk about politics any more (our MP votes against free school meals) because the admin is a die hard tory.

LTNs.

A dog has gone missing, the dog killed/ maimed a lamb 4 weeks ago. People are in uproar it's gone off it's lead again

Parking, dog poo and fly tipping with a side order of inflated fear of crime - you'd think we lived in an urban jungle judging by the posts, not a sleepy little hamlet. There are also the vaguely racist and homophobic nostalgia type posts that are always popular with the regular posters.

Mine is full of this great idea to do a ‘Christmas jingle’ - everyone has to stand on the doorsteps at 6pm on Christmas Eve and ring a bell to help Santa on his way. I am so over standing on my doorstep and doing communal things but I haven’t been brave enough to say that out loud and definitely not on our village FB.
There is also lots of whinging about people letting off fireworks early and heated arguments in support of our Tory anti-free-school-meals MP.
I am definitely not a member of the village ‘tribe’ as they keep calling themselves.

Someone asking people to put a warning up if they’re going to set off fireworks, it was pointed out they had posted a warning hours ago, that’s not good enough they need to post letters through their postbox as they don’t check the group often enough to see the posts and it upsets their dog.
It’s prime firework time! If you have pets and are concerned be proactive and take responsibility ffs!

Everyone swore at each other about politics at the weekend and now the admin, although he is ‘no stranger to fruity language’ has switched off comments.

Chinooks and apaches have been flying over all day and some people are fewmin'

Various ads and a notice about a local pub that have stepped up to provide food over half term

I'm in London so it's usually low traffic neighbourhoods, fly tipping and passive aggressive posts like 'if you were one of the people who walked past me on the street today when I tripped and fell and did nothing to help, I hope that you never have the misfortune to...etc, etc'.

There are some lovely posters as well who put up beautiful photos of local wildlife and some of the wild spaces we have dotted about, so some good vibes too.

Over 100 bags of dog poo found in a hedge when it was trimmed.

A Chinese takeaway that was UNEATEN (oh the horror) thrown into Roger's garden (it wouldn't have happened in his day).

The churchyard is a disgrace - two camps in this discussion- one side wants a beautiful trimmed garden and the other wants to leave it for the bees. Apparently generations of Lewises have been buried there and it's an insult to their memory to leave it as it is

Also seen a jingle bell xmas eve thing and on another complaints about fireworks...

On a happier note...lots of food banks helping local families with meals and not just those with FSM entitlement as it's been pointed out lots of low income families have been hit just as hard and dont qualify

It's usually bonfires, parking, littering and fireworks, politics is banned which is probs a good thing as it brings out the fuckwit gammons.

Tonight it's a dog in a field with sheep.

My brother sends me regular screenshots from the Facebook group of the village my parents live in, which he joined for some reason. I assume he's cherry picking, but even so it has a lot of racism, posts about cat poo and complaints about the 'fat cats' at the parish council (we particularly enjoy these as our mum is a parish councillor)

Around here it's:

• lists places offering free school meals
• dog poo complaints
• parking complaints
• complaints that the bin men or recycling men haven't showed up (again)
• flooding alerts
• someone trying to help all the local shops which always ends up in a slanging match for some reason

Ours is quite full on at the moment- we had a very serious fight here yesterday, in public in the middle of the day. Very unusual for round here, so lots of people being sniffy about who may have been involved, then lots of others piling on the sniffy ones calling them snobby and then a big discussion about how much people have paid to live somewhere without stabbings etc. Bit more interesting than the usual wheelie bin wars!