The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

Happy to say the annual fireworks kick offs (usually every single day) have literally been banned by the admin as they always descend into chaos and slanging matches.

Unfortunately the ban itself kicked off a lively debate in itself....

Someone spray painted a giant cock and balls on the side of tescos. Lots of people commenting, someone suggested to tell the kids it’s a unicorn and one person clarified that it definitely wasn’t a banksy.

It’s quiet tonight - someone is trying to put together a Halloween trail of decorated houses and there are five dining room chairs going free to whoever wants them.

"Foreign" people in white vans driving about suspiciously.

How you can tell they have "foreign" accent when they just drove by is beyond me

Not just a 'foreign' accent, but Eastern European. I think you must live in my locality, @Geldhorn

We’re definitely not Minty. Last year we were making jokes about the chopper overhead one evening and hoping everyone was okay (ha ha!) to find out someone had been brutally murdered and it was the cops looking for the killer

Now when we hear anything like it we all cringe.

Sorry to be a downer.

Everyone who ever comments on our group viscerally detests our MP, admin included, but he got a stonking majority so there are either a lot of silent tories or his fans avoid the village Facebook page.

@iMatter

Chinooks and apaches have been flying over all day and some people are fewmin'

Are you in mid to west Hampshire by any chance? The chinooks have been relentless recently and there were apaches north of Stockbridge this afternoon.

Dog poo
White vans (could be driven by “dodgy looking Irish type”)
Parking
And.... goats escaping!

Can only be described as entertaining

Oh this thread almost makes me wish I lived in a village!

Our entire area/county page is usually

• 'Is B&Q open today?'
• People asking what's going on whenever there's fireworks (the very fireworks that are pre-announced on the same group)
• People showing over-dramatic amounts of concern whenever there's any kind of minor accident or incident
• People asking for recommendations for a Thai takeaway, followed by a list of every Thai takeaway in a 50 mile radius in the comments.

It's almost poppy froth season as well. Halloween, Bonfire Night, and poppies too. It'll be a madhouse.

[quote Furrybootsyecomfy]@WoooooGhoulsDoAFlit I live in Edinburgh (although in a part beginning with G ). Ours has been kicking about for a few years now, quite the local celeb.[/quote]
Furryboots- not from Aberdeen then ?

Someone who breeds dogs is putting industrial quantities of dog poo in the public dog waste bin.

People who walk their dogs are not using said dog waste bin.

Fireworks.

Garden waste collections

Teenager misbehaviour

Parking

Our sleepy market town page is full tonight of

• kids meals donations
• shopping trolleys in the river again, and not just any trolleys, but Waitrose ones
• and low flying chinooks on exercise overhead all evening (and just gone over again)

Plus the usual 5 times a week question about what time the post office is open

A photo of a Pine Marten - first seen in the village in many years

Announcement of a death
Announcement of a centenary

A raccoon dog (that should NEVER have been kept as a pet) has escaped from someone's house.

The owner can't seem to decide if the dog is potentially dangerous to wildlife or other dogs or not. Dickhead.

My village straddles a boundary, we're half tier 2, half tier 3. So that's what we're talking about.

Along with pallets, anywhere for rent, best Indian and potholes.

Parking
Dogs
Speeding
Free food.

The parking one got very heated.

PYO pumpkin patches that have run out of pumpkins and recommendations for primary/secondary schools as none are open to visit due to Covid.

Village chat:
Is the road open again?
Yes? No? Someone claims Yes actually they have just been down it.
Dog poo
Trick or treaters are an unwelcome American tradition and are even more unwelcome during COVID
Dog poo
Woman asking about Avon. Zero engagement there.
One more: dog poo

Ours is trying to drum up support to turn a local pathway into a 'Halloween walk' where everyone will come together in some post war Dunkirk spirit like effort (but with pumpkins) and decorate a dog shite covered, rat infested, under lit path that runs between a railway line and a local estate, that is popular with local drug dealers.

I wouldn't want to go down it during the day never mind in the dark, especially when little folk will want to go walk through/pick up stuff and inevitably come home with dog crap in their hair.

Tonight's main discussion is about the bright thing in the sky!!! Somebody asked what it was, the first few posters were serious but it's descending into hilarious chaos 😂

What people are doing instead of trick and treating
Advert for a pumpkin picking job
Petition to ask for white not orange street lights
Photos of the meteor earlier this evening
A missing goat

@Lockheart

It's almost poppy froth season as well. Halloween, Bonfire Night, and poppies too. It'll be a madhouse.

Oh yes poppy froth season. I live in a suburb but we have a couple of village type social media groups which are filling up nicely with verging-on-aggressive pro poppy anti everything and everyone else posts.

Excellent photos of mushrooms, things for sale (not supposed to be on there but our dictator previous admin left got chucked out recently so the rebels are going for it)

Are we allowed to go to our local supermarket as it’s over the border/why is no one policing the border/why are they policing the border....

Local places offering free kids meals which is nice. Fair bit of having a go at the local MP who voted against...

Keep dogs on leads on farmland... the usual really

Yours all sound far more exciting

The usual location reporting of the police speed van was most entertaining today as some 'local hero' has covered their usual spot with a ton of earth snd they had to park elsewhere. That'll learn 'em, bloody pigs.

5 requests for a local plumber plus the weekly moan about the GPS receptionists not giving out ANY appointments.

And some lovely sunset photos of the local RSPB reserve

@Warmhandscoldheart

Tonight's main discussion is about the bright thing in the sky!!! Somebody asked what it was, the first few posters were serious but it's descending into hilarious chaos 😂

I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it wasn't the sun or moon. What was it??