The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

Myriad 'hilarious' memes about grandchildren, acting your age, and not wearing bras. See also Dads Army memes and twee poems about smiles.

We always have lots of "where can I buy ?"

Shops, Moira. You can buy it in shops. Almost any shop, in fact, apart from those which blindingly obviously won't stock it.

Someone is trying to implement a 20mph speed limit throughout the village, someone else is whinging that their recycling bin and the local doctors surgery has had to close as several of the staff have Covid. It’s all going on.

A missing dog, someone found a wedding ring in the supermarket car park and the restaurants are doing take away to collect again now that they can't have people dining in.

@Peachypips78 search me! I have no idea. Looks like Ovaltine on the picture, but I daren't ask.

Not Totnes, but very similar. Here, DH and I the resident sneaky caffiene drinking, non yoga stretching, petrol car driving arseholes in a VERY hippy village. I am glared at when I swan in with bags from Primark (a fairy in the garden just died, with me just writing that word 😂)

We have naked ramblers, some very 'alternative' schools, and the co-op quakes in the shadow of the health food shops.

It's hilarious, totally batshit, and quite lovely - most of the time!

@AnneLovesGilbert

😄 I was worried I might have outed myself with hens and apples. Seems like those are more common than I thought.

I’m confident we’re not in the same area as we haven’t had a Tory for about 60 years.

Some 'reported' last week that an ambulance had been seen on a particular road, my road in fact. Why they thought it was of interest I really don't know!

@WoooooGhoulsDoAFlit I live in Edinburgh (although in a part beginning with G ). Ours has been kicking about for a few years now, quite the local celeb.

The kids at the skatepark on the rec. It's always about the kids at the skatepark. Or potholes.

Well that and how the council doesn't do anything about anything.
Or about the council causing too much disruption by doing something. Especially when they're fixing the potholes.

Free school lunches locally which is nice.
Local photographer had photo on BBC weather backdrop.
An otter in the river! But won't tell you where. Just in case you're planning on catching it perhaps?
The first scarecrow trail is a huge success!

Then some reprobates throwing eggs at houses. Thought they'd finished because they'd dumped the eggs, but turned out they had more! Poster told to make an omelette.
Chilly weather has stopped all the moaning about the speed of the boats on the river though, so swings and roundabouts!

Someone posting pictures of mushrooms from their walk in the woods, a discussion about a pumpkin trail in lieu of trick or treating, someone wanting to get their washing machine fixed, and a concerted effort to locate the owner of escaped sheep rampaging through people's gardens... 🐑

Someone parking legally outside a house (no diagram)

4x4 drivers getting shitty over the local parking restrictions for the pumpkin patches

FSM - local MP ignoring and deleting all SM questions re why he voted against it

It's all going off here ...

Shops, Moira. You can buy it in shops. Almost any shop, in fact, apart from those which blindingly obviously won't stock it.

Dear god, yes.

And “anyone know when Tesco opens” Google it, Moira, I know you have internet.

And “can anyone recommend a plumber” hmm, I don’t know, perhaps scroll down and look at the 27 other posts looking for a plumber this week.

I think aliens have kidnapped our village moaners, very quiet tonight, recommendation for a plumber required, that’s it, where is everyone??

A local councillor buying up a ton of food eg crisps for kids and her fans defending the fact she’s best mates with our Tory MP who voted against free school meals

Lol Mabel are we in the same village 😁

Here, recently, it's been:
-spare seedlings to give away
-someone apparently living in a car down by the estuary-can anyone offer help?

• a stray dog wandering alone at night

-games night next Thursday at the village hall -anyone know of a reliable person to mow lawns?

Nice really.

@alphajuliet123 haha brilliant 😄

Ah @Furrybootsyecomfy, there's definitely two then! My EG is way down in West Sussex. Perhaps they're not as rare as we've been led to believe!

These are great!
I live in London and am not aware of any local Facebook pages. Tonight there's a couple of people shit stirring on Nextdoor about how people shouldn't have kids if they can't afford to feed them; this was on a post by a greengrocer offering free fruit for kids in need. Most people around here don't think like that.

Thanks for definition of golden milk. I was afraid of what it might be.... sounds wholesome.

"Foreign" people in white vans driving about suspiciously.

How you can tell they have "foreign" accent when they just drove by is beyond me.

The need for more street lights because the streets are so "dangerous".

I think golden milk involves turmeric, no?

I had to unfollow our local page, it raised my blood pressure too much. At a guess/from what has seeped through;

There's been another bridge strike, despite the new bypass.
The mayor is calling for a doorstep 2 minutes silence. I don't think we've thought ahead as far as to jingle bells thank goodness.
Splat the mayor at a charity event.
Who owns this cat?
What was that noise?
Anti-mask memes
General pro-brexit noise
Local restaurants filling in for free school meals.

The annual Should Fireworks Be Allowed? debate is off to a good start.

@WoooooGhoulsDoAFlit I'm just down the road from there!

My MP is the charming Ben Bradley, so lots of arguing about free school meals interspersed with questions and jokes about which brothels will take food vouchers and where the nearest crack den is