The wholesome village Facebook page 🙄

[AngelicaElizaAndPeggy]

What's kicking off on yours this evening? A police car has just been spotted by someone who has eagerly reported it on our page- everyone is now going nuts in the comments but secretly I know for a fact they're all really nosey and want to know if the kids have set fire to the bus stop again.

Last week the same kids were all named and shamed in some CCTV footage from someone's doorbell cam and it all became hugely messy.

A mum has also been selling Christmas glasses that look like they're full of gin but are actually candles. You can have your name written on for an extra fiver.

Fireworks mostly. Including a really embarassing moment for someone who had a monumental rant about it upsetting her dogs and horses and how she was going to start calling the police...about two days before it was revealed by CCTV that her teenager was one of the main culprits.

How it's ridiculous that those of us (i.e Me) who run the after-school care and playscheme are not running during half-term. How we have been "sitting on furlough" since March and have done fuck all. It's voluntary run so we dont' get paid and we are not allowed to hire the school rooms we usually do atm so we can't run.

Also a debate over the cancellation of our street Halloween party. Split between "obviously it couldn't run - there's a pandemic" from people mostly in our street and "that's ridiculous, think of the children" mostly from people from other streets and the next village who normally dump their kids on our street.

A picture of dog poo 💩 that someone has left behind just in case we don’t know what a pile of shite looks like this year!

Place marking!

No Facebook page here, but our Nextdoor is 50% 'who does this cat belong to' and 50% 'has anyone seen this cat'.

Each cat can be debated for days until the connection is made.

Am in the US - mine has a post congratulating someone on having this political sign in their front garden, and so far pretty much everyone's agreed.

@CandyLeBonBon - it used to mainly hang out near one of the playgrounds, but occasionally appeared in nearby gardens, prompting a flurry of excitable FB posts. It hadn't popped up for a while when we left, (how long do they live I wonder??)

Arguments about leaving sweets out for kids for Halloween. In Wales so we are not meant to be trick or treating

Far too many jokes about what is/isn't deemed "essential" in Wales. Mostly these take the form of photos of naked people holding random essential items because clothes aren't essential for the next 2 weeks. The first couple were funny but it's just a bit repetitive now!

Someone’s asked what the red star they can see from their bedroom is called. It’s the top of a crane.

And earlier today a cat sat outside someone’s house for an hour and has posted that they think it’s missing and needs to be collected.

I feel so deprived. My town government has a Facebook page but there doesn't seem to be one for residents to argue and gossip on.

Our local MP is getting a bashing for voting against FSM. People are posting screenshots of his publicity photos during visits to food-banks and mocking the hand-wringing comments he made at the time.

Someone's had their bike nicked, and someone else has found a different bike abandoned in the woods. No one has yet claimed the abandoned bike.

Someone has spotted someone else fly-tipping and is apparently giving them a chance to remove it all or their photo will be handed over to the police. Cue: cries from the neighbours demanding that she post the photo so that the culprit can be named and shamed. No reply yet from the photographer or the fly-tipper.

Two cats have gone missing but another one has returned home after several days of gallivanting.

An irate man has posted a photo of a front door and asked if anyone knew the address. Apparently his parcel has been delivered there by mistake. The courier has provided the photo but Irate Man lives in a flat and this is clearly the front door of a house.

Parking near the local primary schools.
Teens congregating anywhere and upsetting parents with younger children.
Dog poo not being picked up.
Dog poo that is picked up but left in baggies in bushes, hung from trees, etc
Dogs off leads. Dogs attacking other people's dogs.
Litter being dumped.
Horses escaping from their field (every other day it seems).
Boy racers at night.
Youths riding mopeds like idiots.
Youths riding electric scooters when they're illegal.
Drug dealing youths leaving cannisters everywhere.
Villagers blaming other local villages for their youths causing asbo problems when it's probably youths from all of them, frankly.

@scrappydappydoo ours is pushing the Xmas jingle shite too. I'm not on Facebook but my DP read about it and was fuming about yet more noise making arseholes .

@MissConductUS

I think you should take it upon yourself to create one!!!

Oh yes: free school meals and the upcoming fireworks are the hot topics of today.

The main discussion on ours is the building of a skate park. Christ alive you would think the council were planning on building a crack den with brothel attached!

A lost cat; a found bank card and a lovely bit about people lining the street (socially distanced) as the hearse of the local FB admin passed.

Ugh. we've had the skate park discussions round here... totally amazed at how many insist it will just be a place for druggies, same people who bitch about the teens roaming around causing trouble because there's nothing for them to do!

Covid, covid and more covid. With the addition of some town vandalism!

@AngelicaElizaAndPeggy came for a nose on the thread but stayed for your username, mine is a Ham reference also

The council have issued a letter about noise from a cockerel so its got to be killed. There’s uproar as it’s some idiot townie that’s complained. I think there might be an actual riot.
The poor cockerel though. I think it’s the same people that complained about the smell of cows (when they live opposite a dairy farm).

Suburban Sydney Top 5:

• Helicoper flying overhead (what/when/why/who)
• Arsehole drivers/ speeding learners
• Dogs in shopping trolleys (yep, it's a popular one over here)
• Power cuts
• Dog owners who let their dogs shit on the nature strip and leave it

There are a few passive aggressive stalwarts on the site, but generally the favoured response from posters is outright insults and name-calling!

We have two local Facebook groups following a huge spat. Honestly think everyone in our town are on both (me included)
main topics include

• trick or treating
• complaints about the Hermes driver/missing packages
• suspicious vehicles. Everyone gets rilled up on this one - all of a sudden everyone has something that’s gone missing and the suspicious vehicle and its owner are clearly responsible.
• cars being parked on the curb.
• cars that are not parked inside the lines at the shop. Normally shamed by posting a pic of the offending car.
• missing dogs

Wreath making workshop

Raising money for the local church

And a curtain alteration request

Most of ours is lovely local business offering free school meals. Someone looking for boxes. A window cleaner new to the area (good luck mate, we all clean our windows with our tongues) and a couple of missing cats.