Pirate noises during sex????????????????????

[regularmumsnetter]

Am too embarrassed to reveal my true identity but i am a bit freaked out by my dp. Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex, eg 'Arr matey' in the style of that weird sea captain from the Simpsons?!

The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'

There are various others along the same lines but i won't go into them all now.

He is not a sailor btw, and has (AFAIK) no connection to seafaring folk;)

Just wondering if i can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel (it's just f*ing weird IMO, but it seems to be turning him on!).

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Oh bless his cotton socks - at least he's trying. Absolutely no suggestions (I too would die laughing if dh did anything like this) but full marks to him for not being afraid to try something new. We do complain sometimes that married sex becomes predictable...

OMG I really hope you are joking. This has made me LOL though

i nearly choked on my wine there, sorry but that is SO funny!

Do you have any Ds's? If so line up a few of their play pirates round the bed and say 'I've been enjoying your pirate act so much I thought it was time for a gang bang'

If you want to stop it I would watch a pirate film together and make sure during the film that you say 2 or 3 times that pirates are not really your cup of tea!

Moo's right it is quite sweet in a way so let him down gently

Damn, I just wiped a whole post about how I agree with Moo - and you do have to tell him - but that you will please tell us if he moves on to new exciting roles like Arctic Explorers ('feel that furry muff') or Jungle Adventures ('penetrate that rainforest') won't you? Please?

nothing to add to the already fab advice, but this is why I love mumsnet!

Wet myself laughing at this, so sorry no advice though.

on a different tack rmner... perhaps you could shed your nautical inhibitions and try getting into it? i'm sure you could find some pirate porn on the web!

Sweet jesus....weak with laughter, sorry...

Ahem. [pulls self together] The only semi-helpful advice I can give is, let's face it, it could be a lot worse. At least this is harmless, sort of sweet in its inept attempt at raunchiness, and quite amusing. He could be asking you to stuff gerbils where the sun don't shine, or something.

Say 'ah harrr I do enjoy seamen!'.

Great advice rmner. Go on, embrace the pirate within.

Blu - seaman! nice work arfarf

Oh no, I am collapsing with laughter even more at MI's post - and it's not funny! I've had open jaw surgery today (tooth removal) and my jaw is killing me!

so to speak, spidermama.

PMSL - sorry rmner!

OMG, ROFLMAO - you lot are hilarious!

Is this Rhubarb having another larf?!

Didn't FairyFly's ex write a romantic poem about lighthouses docking?

Who cares who it is I'll be tittering myself to sleep thanks to this.

Oi Spidey - has your dh been on waking the dead yet?!

Just showed DH this thread as I was laughing so much - hope he doesn't get any ideas

SPLICE THE MAINBRACE!!!!!

Not yet. Maybe next week. I can't remember what his ep' is called but he plays the title role. (ie 'The Dead' )

Sudden chilling thought - he's not, you know, wearing a hat as well, is he?

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this wins best thread tonight!