Pirate noises during sex????????????????????

[regularmumsnetter]

Am too embarrassed to reveal my true identity but i am a bit freaked out by my dp. Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex, eg 'Arr matey' in the style of that weird sea captain from the Simpsons?!

The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'

There are various others along the same lines but i won't go into them all now.

He is not a sailor btw, and has (AFAIK) no connection to seafaring folk;)

Just wondering if i can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel (it's just f*ing weird IMO, but it seems to be turning him on!).

Blimey - I can't believe this was from 2005. I remember when it started.

I love that this is still going.

Arrrr! This be needing a bump today!

Avast ye!

I wish it were me hearty, but I lost me knob to a spindly killer fish and have an extra peg leg now...

I used to give wenches the pox, now I gives em splinters!

It is terrifying that this thread is from 2005- that's TEN YEARS people!

Just rude him like a raft on a choppy sea. Good for you getting laid!! ??

Jazz hands.

A boyfriend did jazz hands and, I was falling in love with him.

I didn't end it immediately but it was the beginning of the end.

Oops. Shouldn't have posted that in this thread. Sorry.

Arrr the ships docking... Im literally peeing myself laughing
Sounds like he wants to spice things up. Maybe you need to take pirate by the hook

Get a parrot like someone suggested. What about a real one? Rather amusing tee hee

@regularmumsnetter. Did you ship him off to warmer climes? Or are you still on the island together?

He might have had a previous lover who enjoyed it. When a woman laughs during sex, pelvic muscles contract which in my male experience feels fantastic, & my wife loved it. Pirate noises was one of her favorites; she loved sponge Bob’ Mr Krabs. Let hubby know it’s distracting for you. That’s gentler than saying you hate it.

oh my goodness thank you, this is the funniest thing I have ever read on Mumsnet, literally crying with laughter before I even got half way through the message!!!

@Paleotrendy

He might have had a previous lover who enjoyed it. When a woman laughs during sex, pelvic muscles contract which in my male experience feels fantastic, & my wife loved it. Pirate noises was one of her favorites; she loved sponge Bob’ Mr Krabs. Let hubby know it’s distracting for you. That’s gentler than saying you hate it.

This cannot be a serious comment 😂😂😂

Just play this on repeat and very loud.

2005!!!!!! Funniest thing ive read in ages, me and my friend were howling with laughter 😂😂😂😂

Sorry but….IIICCKKK 😂 I would just say be honest & tell him to stop. Say it’s a mood killer

Either tell them outright that it's not sexy and it's a complete turn off or, start also coming out with weird lines in bed.

"Trains almost at the station" complete with Matt Berry voice, that should nip it in the bud 😀

I struggle to understand why you can’t be upfront with your partner, seems like an issue, I would laugh and tell him fuck off before my vagina shrivelled up and died! Surely you can add humour to not hurt his feelings? Maybe he is too sensitive if he would get upset over that.

This thread be 18 years old! I think it's been saaaaaaarrrrrrted by now, me hearty.