Pirate noises during sex????????????????????

[regularmumsnetter]

Am too embarrassed to reveal my true identity but i am a bit freaked out by my dp. Recently he has begun to put on a strange voice during sex, eg 'Arr matey' in the style of that weird sea captain from the Simpsons?!

The other one is 'Arr, the ship's a-dockin' and 'My lighthouse is tingling'

There are various others along the same lines but i won't go into them all now.

He is not a sailor btw, and has (AFAIK) no connection to seafaring folk;)

Just wondering if i can say how uncomfortable this is making me feel (it's just f*ing weird IMO, but it seems to be turning him on!).

Don't tell ur DP! Not a good idea at all, believe me.

how funny!!!!!!!!!!! i think you'd look real cuuuute in a pirate hat - indulge him......... you never know the rewards!!!!!!!!!!!! must ask dh to start running around making firetruck noises!!!!!!!!!!

or batman .............

I told my DH, and was saying that I was amazed that RMN kept a straight face, and added "I'm assuming that you'd find it hard not to laugh if I said something like that"

He just looked at me with a perfectly straight face, and told me that it might not be so bad....

Followed by cracking up with laughter when he saw the look of horror on my face!!!

This is the first thread on MN that I have ever made DP actually read. I quizzed him on what might make someone start experimenting with pirate noises, and he couldn't begin to imagine but then wondered if he is having fantasies about you being a pirate wench woman, and started extemporising using words such as 'swiving', which I thought was getting a bit close to his secret prediliction for poets such as Rochester, so I changed the subject!

Dh needs little encouragement to dust off his volumes of that smutmeister John Donne blu so I know exactly what you mean

soooooooo funny

.

Prepare yourself to be boarded! Aharr..

he used the immortal line 'Arr, I'm going to disperse my seamen'

I haven't laughed so hard in the longest time.

Sorry RMNer not constructive but this is so funny.

Told DH about this yesterday. He said were we sure the chap was trying to be Cap'n Jack Sparrow and not Pirate Steve out of Dodgeball?
Must admiy, we had an attack of the giggles in bed last night thinking about it (not laughing at RMNs expense, it just got us thinking!)

My dh started going 'nee nor nee nor' like a fire engine once!! i nearly literally pmsl!!

I'm going to send this thread to dh as he's ex-Royal Navy. He's currently marooned on an oil rig off Nigeria and I think this thread'll cheer him up, snigger!

Girls you've gotta explain what has just happened to me.
I was on msn to dh, we are looking at buying a fridge freezer. Anyway I was copying and pasting the address of the fridge freezer I was hoping to buy.
I copied, pasted and pressed send.
HOWEVER, up on the talk page in front of me my post read
"Store ya victuals in me bunghole!"

And that is no word of a lie.
Unsurprisingly, dh is apparently uncontactable because he is offline

I am not making this up.

I promise you

this thread is to funny!

but dont ya all know that there will be dh's breathing a sigh of relief that they didnt try that funny new noise whilst in the bedroom this week........and that their not the one being made fun of!!!!!!!!!!!

We are now talking Pirate talk too!! Many a 'shiver me timbers' said at night!! But not whilst having sex!!

And have started groping in the kitchen, but that's another thread

This thread is definitley up there with the elastic, the tights on the head and the tablecloth!

Here's the obvious next MN meet-up. It arrived in my e mail inbox. Shall we go?
Dear Sir or madam,
This is just a quick note to inform you that the
Jolly Roger boat cruises are re-starting from Thursday 20th October.

We apologise for the delay, this was due to the boat having its
annual maintenance.

The evening cruise on each Thursday, will still have our special offer
that Ladies go FREE with each paying customer. We will be running evening
on other days as well, however, the special offer is not available on
these days.

We hope you will promote our cruises to your customers, and please
remember that if your staff would like to go on our Thursday cruise,
they may telephone us on: Max 050944778 (English) Jason 078033329 (English)
or Yo 038 425884 (Thai). Your staff are invited FREE of charge!

Regards
Max Diamond
Webworld Enterprises C0., Ltd

For the 'Jolly Roger' Boat Cruises

Uh - oh Dh has just phoned me before leaving work to tell me I embarrassed him earlier. He had senior colleagues in his office when my post came up on his monitor screen. Said he didn't know where to put himself.
I'm mortified because it really was not intended
I can't work out how it happened

How did I miss this?!?!?!

Keel-hauling for you then, Mrs Doolittle!
You must have copied the wrong link, somehow!
Anyway, how suitable would it have been to open a picture of a frideg-freezer in the office - not 100% work related, is it!