lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

My gran asked my mum what a 'gang bang' was ...

My school friend's Swedish mother once halted a dinner party in its tracks by clearing away the starter, then asking, 'Would you like intercourse?'

When we were students in france my english friend got chatting to our french housemate (in french)about how french bread is so different to our packets of processed stuff. She mentioned being worried about the english stuff being full of "preservatifs". It means condoms. I have never seen a french person laugh so much.

I once received a report from colleagues abroad. Instead of discussing 'monthly' accounts it went in to great detail about 'menstrual' accounts....

My mum had a friend that used to go for "an intercourse cigarette" half way through a meal.

I remember being about 10 or 11, and looking for Xmas presents for my Dad, and suggesting to my mum and sister in the shop that I could get him a travel chess set, so that he could "play with himself" (and not have to have an opponent all the time, as seemed logical to me at the time). I remember them smirking, but I am not sure whether they explained at the time or whether I figured it out later/myself.

I have a friend who announced to a group of his friends in Italy that his genitals were arriving on a plane the next day.

There's an expression in Hebrew, which is kind of equivalent to "good egg", which is "rosh tov" which literally means "good head". One (male) friend was saying about another friend "oh yes, he's got good head". Followed by awkward silence from the English speakers.

I once helped a German company with some publicity material for selling their products in the UK. They were adamant that they wanted to say "The paint brush is the organ that the artist plays with". They took some convincing not to use it, I had to be very blunt in the end.

my mum once said to her work mates - 'sorry my hair is such a mess i've just done a quick blow job' - she meant blow dried her hair

my sister also asked for 'preservatif' to go with her croisants..............the family she was staying with didn't know where to look

i knew someone who wanted to introduce her friend to a group of French acquaintances, got mixed up and said 'i'd like to penetrate my friend X'

DH asked my Granny at Xmas dinner whether it was time for the intercourse!

Obviously a common one that one!

The DSs also say "I've wet myself" when they have got themselves wet in the bath (ready for hairwash).

My german penpal once told me about the fund raising event she'd taken part in for 'children with crabs' I think she meant cancer.

potrebuju curat means I need to pee, potrebuju curak means I need a cock in czech. It was embarrassing saying it in front of BIL, and DH has forbidden me from speaking in front of his father now :o

I remember at a careers evening when I was at school I had my heart set on a career in law. My father spotted a stand (can't remember what it was now) and tried to get me to look at it.

I simply replied, "no thanks, I think I'll stick to soliciting".

these are all hilarious!

oh and my mum also asked me what a mars bar party is

When working in a restuarant in Italy I walked into the kitchen and shouted "does this salad have any preservativi in it?" (also condoms)

Sandstorm my exH once asked his dad if there was much money in soliciting :o

Blushingm erm...what is a mars bar party?!

thre are two words in Swedish that sound quite similar.
Samlag = sexual intercourse.
Samtal = conversation

a friend wanted to compliment a female friend during a big dinner. What he wanted to say was that he had such a long interesting conversation with this girl yesterday..