lost in translation... is this the most embarrassing comment someone could make in all innocence?

[oricella]

Posted this before in bilingual, but it deserves a wider audience..

My dad recently stated that my lovely 2 year old was acting like a cat, 'giving heads'.... (the Dutch expression 'kopjes geven' describes the way cats nudge you with their head)

That one had me under the table... (and blush at having to try and explain to him why!)

Anyone else have any good mistranslations?

"Juice of a blow job" I'm going to be laughing at that for days

My cousin's biology teacher used to talk about the consummation of food and drink . I've met him, you'd hardly know he wasn't English, but he obviously had a block on that word!

I got pollo and polla muddled up in Spanish once - I basically told a group of people that I'd cooked cock. I also once told someone that I wore contact lentils.

British friend asked for a hand job (blow dry) here in Italy, and I have just amended a friend's translation for her boyfriend's lotions and creams company, where she has obligingly stated that the exfoliating scrub "removes all slags" (semantic leap being the word for "residue" in Italian is the same as slagheaps of coal in English)

O wow - these are fab! I opened a massive can of worms here didn't I

When living in Thailand I quickly learned never to talk about snow; getting the tones wrong on 'hee maa' would mean you'd be saying that there are a lot of dog's fannies in winter in england....

A Japanese colleague who'd worked at the same institution on two occasions said, at his leaving do, that "he liked it so much he came twice". Cue much sniggering round the table

Rockin - on my first German exchange I was unwell. Unfortunately instead of explaining that I was feverish (hot) and dizzy, I told her parents that I was hot as in horny and gay... luckily I then fell unconscious so they got the idea.

The following term my teacher gave me a list of words with and without u-umlaut and told me never to use any of them as I couldn't pronounce either properly. 'Schwul' was on the list...

Oh, and I'm yet to encounter a foreign colleage who doesn't mispronounce "goggles" as "googles". And I work in an environment where safetly goggles are used quite often, so it does come up.

But to be fair Oricella, there are. Just not noticeably more than at any other time of year. :)

I announced that I was a snake instead of announcing I was pregnant in German.

Someone I know wanted to tell the vet that the dog is very nervous and would probably need to be sedated for the procedure. What she did tell was that the dog should be put to sleep.
There was a serious argument when the vet said that no, no, that is not necessary, we'll make the dog better and she kept insisting that no no, put it to sleep...

Chef in Swedish is kock. (pronounce like it begins with c). A Swedish guy wanted to ask an English one if he had seen that Jamie show, The Naked Chef. So he asked "have you seen naked cock?"

In the summer we got a memo telling us that wearing thongs in hangars is forbidden. Of course i wondered why and how the heck they know , luckily the memo continued with sentence that only closed-toe shoes are allowed.

Just looked that up, Mackerel. Easily done!

Also, how do we know that everyone in Bethlehem was having "deep and dreamless sleep". Surely someone was up making cocoa? Or dreaming about camels eating their new cloak or something?

ha - so wrong thread :o

My friend from New Zealand told me yesterday that she was sending off her monthly 'blob' report.

She meant it in a kind of cloud computing sort of way until I told her what it meant when I was at school!

In Spain I tried my limited Spanish on a lad who worked in the hotel who had a puppy. I managed "What is his name?", "How old is he?" etc, then said something about 'your puppy' and he looked very startled.

Found out later that I'd used perroquito instead of perrito, and asked him about his parrot!

I had a letter from a German solicitor which said:

"I do cherish my client for many years...."

Ok these are in English but still embarrassing. I used to work in a sales office where we all wrote each sale on a target board so we could see how well we were all doing and how close to target we were for the month. Everyday we would take it in turns to rub out the daily figures and add them to "month to date" so we could then start adding to the daily figures again the next day. One day when it was my turn to amend the board I wasn't sure if my colleague Andy had updated all his figures so I shouted at the top of my voice "Andy, are you ready for me to rub you off yet!"

Same office same guy. I had to let a workman into the office when to fix something to do with the electrics which were housed in a little box on the wall which was opened by a key. Andy asked me if I could help him with something and I replied that he would have to wait because I had a man waiting to inspect my box.

Thank god I don't have to work with Andy anymore

Open enquiring about the whereabouts of her son my German friend announced that he was in his bedroom playing with himself.

My French grandfather spoke fantastic English but would sometimes learn a new word without realising how potentially dodgy it could sound.

For example, one Christmas Day we had a huge Christmas dinner, but in the evening several of us decided we could force down a turkey sandwich or two. Grandpere declined initially, but then decided to make himself a sandwich because he had changed his mind after watching us all masticating.

Oh god I can't stop laughing at 'monthly blob report'

amazed that monthly blob report isn't already an MN fixture.

A friend was fed up with his Italian housemates bursting into his room so put a sign on his door in Italian saying 'Please knock - I need my privacy' but it actually said 'I need my privates'!

A friend's first day working in a beach shop: A very posh man came in asking for tampax in a very loud voice.

She took a deep breath and asked if he wanted mini, regular or super. He replied even louder, 'I just want tampax. TAMPAX!'

He was asking for tent pegs.